My name is Yuqin Tao, 47 years old, a retired worker from a factory in Beijing. I live at this address (omitted by editors) in Beijing.
I started Falun Dafa cultivation practice on May 26, 1998. On April 25, I went to the Zhong-Nan-Hai, and on July 21 I went to the Bureau of Oceans Administration in order to get back justice for Falun Dafa. At that time, I was able to come out. However, since Falun Dafa was "outlawed" by the Chinese government on July 22, I had been controlled by fear and many other conceptions, thus I stayed at home for "genuine practice". I did not understand the various actions taken by those Dafa practitioners for the purpose of rectifying Fa [the great law of Falun Dafa/by translators] and protecting Fa. I thought that they went astray. I thought that the Master has already taught us the great law and the Gong, and it will be fine for us to study Fa and do practice at home, and to give up the attachments one by one. I thought that their floundering like that would not rectify Fa, I thought it was completely impossible.
I know that Falun Dafa is good and is an orthodox Fa, and that Dafa is very important for me. Since the Dafa was announced to be "illegal" (by the Chinese government), I had read and practiced every day at home, instead. However it was hard to feel the rise of cultivation levels. I felt that I was too far from the realms of consummation.
On the night of February 16, I had a dream, in which I saw myself in jail. I also saw a watch, but didn't see the time. After waking up, I thought that it was a hint from Master. On February 17, I met a co-practitioner and she told me that we should go out to protect the law. She also said a high-ranking official in the Chinese Communist Party declared having Falun Dafa eradicated in two years. Her words struck my heart. Even though I didn't come out at that moment, it is absolutely impossible for me to give up Falun Dafa. I would rather give up my life than Falun Dafa. I cannot wait any longer!!
But what can I do for Falun Dafa? On February 18, I, wearing the Falun emblem, practiced Falun Dafa exercises in front of a park. On February 19, I got a chance to read the materials from the Guangzhou Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference held on November 19. I cried when I read that Ding Yan, a practitioner at the Conference, hit her head against the wall in order to distract the policemen to protect fellow practitioners, while the police were arresting the practitioners under the claim that some practitioners didn't have the residency permits (issued by the city municipality). I cried for her unselfishness, and I cried for her greatness. I read this material three times, and I cried three times. At that moment I felt myself so tiny and insignificant. Since July 22, every practitioner has been working his own way to prove the great law. As a Falun Dafa practitioner, why didn't I protect the great law? The so-called "doing practice at home" is essentially nothing but to enjoy the benefits that Falun Dafa brings to me without giving up an ordinary person's attachments. I was trapped in a circle centered around my own fear and selfishness. This was not cultivation but merely doing exercises. Where is the cultivation when I put myself above Falun Dafa in weighing between myself and the Fa? As a future enlightened being in Falun Dafa, and a guard of a great universe, with his starting point settled on the protection of the Great Fa, he has nothing to fear, because he can give up everything of including his life. Since then my thoughts changed fundamentally and I wanted to go out to protect the Fa.
On February 20, I put on the Falun emblem and walked to the Tian-An-Men Square to guard the great law. When I stepped on the square, a policeman asked me if I was a Falun Dafa practitioner and I said yes. I was then seized and brought to a police station, and later transferred to a detention center. I was punished with 15 days detention, charged with "disturbing the social order". The prisoners in the detention center treated me very well, as they all liked to chat with Falun Dafa practitioners. They shared their pains and grievances with me and they particularly liked to listen to Falun Dafa principles and our cultivation stories. I felt that I was a specific embodiment of Falun Dafa, and I wanted to tell them the principles of the Great Law, and would like them to understand the principle of "cause and consequence". I would like to make Falun Dafa shine from me. Actually, it will be the reappearance of the Great Law in human society if each of our practitioners behave very well regardless of the time, place and occasion so as to rectify people's mind with the Great Law. As a result, everyone will know that Falun Dafa is good, and will like to restrict their behavior, using the law, out of their own willingness. In order to achieve that, it will depend on every Dafa practitioner and on our righteous behaviors in our daily lives. To that end, either a word or an act, either at home or in the society, of ours all need to be conformed to the great law. Only when people realize the virtue of Falun Dafa can we achieve the goal of rectifying the law, protecting the law, and spreading the law.
When in jail, I genuinely experienced what the state of emptiness was. I sat in the jail, felt my head and whole body emptied. It was in a state of extreme comfort that I never experienced in my prior practice. I truly understood that the human discomforts are caused by the attachments. When there is no attachment, it is really comfortable and magnificently wonderful.
Twelve days later, my family redeemed me out, through their guarantee, without notifying me in advance. After returning home, I was approached by my brother in law and my own younger brother. They tried to persuade me using the affections and conceptions of human beings. My older brother also came to persuade me. My older brother used to practice Falun Dafa, for three years, and my brother in law was also a practitioner. After July 22, they all stopped their cultivation practice. In my conversation with them, I found that they no longer knew anything about Falun Dafa. They had little Fa in their memory, even not as good as those who never practiced Dafa. At that instant, I felt it was so fearful when a practitioner dropped down. It is horrific. When one ceases his cultivation, the Master will leave him alone, and he will lose all the benefits obtained through cultivation. Without the protection of the Master, karma will return to his body and all the demons to whom he owed debts will try to harm him. At that moment, I truly understood that cultivation is not something frivolous, but the most serious in the world. You can only go forward (in cultivation), control your fate by yourself, and not be affected by the illusive things in the world of ordinary people. In the course of my cultivation practice, I must go forward single-mindedly without resorting to any other choices, even though I may lose my life I will be still happy with that.
Actually everything that happens in human society is driven by cosmic changes. The current hardship that Falun Dafa encounters is not accidental. How can you tell a heart without a tough test? At the critical moment, it is the most important for one to give up his ego and put the great law in the first place. When I take this step, my realms of awareness are in sublimation. Except for the great law, everything else has lost its place in my heart, such as my salary, my house, my life, even my consummation. Nothing else is important anymore.
I heard a story from a fellow practitioner. In his meditation someone saw the Master sitting in front of a burning candle. The candle had burned to the end. Gods speak to the Master, "It should end now, it should end now". Tears came out of the Master's eyes, but all that dropped on the ground is blood. I don't know how the event of Falun Dafa will progress, but I believe the Master's benevolence must be immense, and the Master doesn't want to see even a single disciple rot in this world, losing his chance forever.
I also understood the following. It was such a chaotic state in the Cultural Revolution that the President of China could be knocked down as a traitor, spy and thief, but his reputation was restored after Chairman Mao died. The rectification of the law would be much easier if our Master slightly moves his hands. If so, however, there will be no "great achievements" done by us, then what shall we say to all living beings in our future worlds? "When Dafa (the Great Law) was banned in the human society, I stayed at home watching and did nothing?" All Gods and Buddhas in the heaven are watching us, and it will be good if what we are doing can make them feel that we are indeed outstanding and extraordinary. Many Dafa practitioners have been through reincarnation many times on the earth in their cultivation, everyone has done many impressive deeds. In this lifetime when we will achieve our final cultivation perfection in Falun Dafa, will there be any earthshaking and greater arrangement for us? Master is watching for us and is waiting for us. In the process of protecting the law and rectifying the law, it is we who will eventually benefit from these activities. I have been to jail once, and I felt that I have since got rid of many human things.
Let's give up all the attachments for fame, gain and human sentiment, and return to our true home following our Master! For rectifying the law in our human society and for the bright future of the Universe, let every practitioner be like a torch in a field, burn our own lives to lighten this Universe and to expel all perplexities and darkness. Let "Zhen Shan Ren" illuminate every corner of the Universe, and let the tomorrow of the world be bright forever. Let our lives shine in the process of law rectification!
The above is my own understanding of cultivation only. Please forgive me for any mistakes, if found.
Yuqin Tao, a practitioner in Beijing
(March 9, 2000)
(Translated on Apr. 4, 2000)
Category: Standing Up for Falun Dafa
