Nearly one month passed. They still couldn't find out my home address. All they knew was that I was female. Attempting to intimidate me another way, they showed me the "rules of the law." "See, it says right here: Those whose addresses are unknown can be detained indefinitely." I thought of Teacher's words, "I often say that human beings want to be in charge, but they have never, ever been in charge."(Unofficial translation of Lecture at the Geneva Conference in Switzerland) So I told them, "Your rules are invalid." Finally they had run out of ideas.
During the entire period of the torture "sticking on the board"[according to the term used, we assume it is a method of torture, which involves tying a practitioner's limbs to a board], in order not to bother others in the cell, I tried to hold myself as long as I could, [Note: the meaning here is "try not to go to toilet"] and sometimes only urinated once every two days. One time I couldn't hold my urine and wet my pants.
I still had attachments, but due to the continuous urging of others in the same cell, I started to eat a little amount of food. Sometimes I didn't eat anything or just ate a small cup of starch each day. At last I became so thin that my eyes and cheeks were sunken. The authorities worried and implored me to wear prison clothes. I refused again. At last they gave in and released me from the board, only leaving a small shackle on me.
I had been tied to the board for 20 days. During this period, the guards ordered the common prisoners in the cell not to worry about me. I was not allowed to wash or change clothes. I had not washed my hair in over 20 days and had only changed clothes once. My body smelled so bad that flies were attracted to it. At last all the common prisoners in the cell shouted and cursed me with all kinds of insults they could think of. I thought of Teacher's words in the book of Zhuan Falun, "If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation. If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person's mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble." ("Upgrading Xinxing", Chapter 4 of Zhuan Falun) "In the workplace or in society, some people may say that you are bad, yet you may not necessarily be bad. Some people may say that you are good, but you may not really be good."("Zhen-Shan-Ren is the Sole Criterion to Discern Good and Bad People", Chapter 1 of Zhuan Falun) "During the process of transforming karma, to keep yourself under control--unlike an everyday person who would mess things up--you should always maintain a heart of benevolence and a mind of kindness. If you suddenly bump into a problem, you will be able to take care of it properly. When you always maintain a heart of benevolence and compassion, should a problem arise suddenly, you will have time or room to buffer the confrontation and think"("Transformation of Karma", Chapter 4 of Zhuan Falun). My mind was not perturbed.
After they removed the torture "sticking on the board," I still didn't cooperate with the evil and refused to work for them. All prisoners in the detention center were forced to do embroidery and their earnings through embroidery work went to the staff in the detention center. But, in my cell, I cleaned the cell, washed clothes for the common criminals in my cell and took care of the drinking water. I told them the heavenly principle of "Good is rewarded with good, and evil meets with evil," taught illiterate persons to read and explained to all of them the ways of being a good person. Finally, everyone felt embarrassed and said Dafa practitioners were truly good people. Even the police guard in charge of the female cells apologized for beating me before. She asked me whether I hated her. I told her that practitioners bore no resentment against anybody and had no hatred on their minds.
No one in the cell bothered me if I practiced the exercises on the exercise yard of the detention center. I still felt a little uneasy though. Looking inside myself, I found I still had fear on my mind. I thought of what Teacher said in the article "Environment," "Even man's claim that he has evolved from apes can be highly regarded. Yet even with such a great Dafa of the Universe, you are embarrassed to give it a correct position--this is man's true shame." In the article "Durability," Teacher said, "As a cultivator, you should practice cultivation in an open and dignified manner..." It was also stated in Teacher's article "Big Exposure," "Some disciples said, 'What's there to fear? My body will still be sitting there, even with my head cut off.' In comparison, it only takes but one look to gauge one's cultivation." So I started to openly practice the exercises in the cell. The next day they told the common prisoner in charge of the cell that all people in the cell would have to get up to watch me if I practiced the exercises. When I started to practice the next day, all others in the cell got up. They pinched my legs and my hands, pushed against me and cursed me. But one undisturbed mind can restrain ten thousand disturbances. In the end I finished all five exercises, even the tranquil meditation. On the third day the director of the detention center had a conversation with me and asked me not to practice in the center. I told him, "No, I won't stop. I'm a practitioner. No matter where I am, I have to practice." He said, "Then we have to take some measures." I said, "You can take whatever measures you want, but I have my own way of doing things."
Later on, they started to put me through the torture of "sticking on the board" again. One day after I started a hunger strike they replaced the tie-downs with handcuffs. The guards said to me, "You practitioners talked about compassion. Because of you, all others in the cell are affected. They had to work during daytime and had to watch you at night. Have you thought about them?" I thought of what Teacher had said in the article "Digging Out the Roots," "What I would like to tell you is not whether this incident itself was right or wrong. Instead, I want to point out that such an event has exposed some people. They still have not fundamentally changed their human mindset, and they still perceive problems with the human mentality wherein human beings protect human beings. ... I have long noticed that a few individuals do not have the heart to protect Dafa, but instead intend to protect certain things in human society. If you were an everyday person I would have no objection; it is certainly a good thing to be a good person who protects human society. But now you are a cultivator. What standpoint you take in treating Dafa is a fundamental issue; it is also precisely what I want to point out to you. During your cultivation practice, I will use every means to expose all of your attachments and dig them out at the root." So I told them, "They have to watch me at night, not because I practice. Am I wrong to practice? Do I wake them up when I practice? Do I ask them to watch me?" They concealed their motives by saying, "It is to prevent you from developing cultivation insanity." I said, "To our practitioners, there is no such thing as cultivation insanity." They were at a loss for words.
Finally they found out my home address through internet. Policemen from the local police department came to pick me up. On the day before I left, the unit personnel dealing with my case asked me whether I had any request. I told them, "I ask to be released without a criminal record." They said, "Ok. We will issue you a release statement "no crime committed" when you leave here. But you should think again. Do you really have no wrong doings at all?" I said, "No, I did nothing wrong at all."
(To be continued)
