Greetings, venerable Master Li! Greetings, everyone!
My name is Minnan Liu, from Edmonton, Canada. I would like to take this opportunity to share with Master Li and my fellow practitioners, some of my experiences during my cultivation practice.
1. Master Li said in his article, Deter Interference, that, "The Fa can reveal all attachments, the Fa can eradicate all evils, the Fa can dispel all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts."
I learned about the Fa in 1997. However, after speaking to a lay Buddhist I quit after two short months. She said that if this Fa was righteous, it could surely guide people towards high levels; if not, it would then ruin a person. She persuaded me to quit for a while. Two years have passed. But I could never give it up in my heart, probably due to the predestined relationship. Therefore, when I came to Canada to further my studies in 1998 I brought all my Dafa books with me. In July 1999, a strong desire welled up from my heart: I wanted to cultivate Falun Dafa again. In a dream, a man came to me and sternly said, "Why haven't you started practicing yet? The next day, I began to practice regularly. A test followed immediately after that. A friend told me that Falun Gong had been prohibited in China, and suggested that I read the news on the Internet. I had no idea what was happening in China. During the following month, I became preoccupied in reading all the information from Minghui, People's Daily, and Mingbao on the Internet and was deeply saddened. Could I still practice Falun Gong? This question hounded my thoughts daily. Yet, "At a certain point of time, you will be made unable to discern clearly whether something is true, whether your gong exists, whether you can practice cultivation and make it", words said by Master Li in Zhuan Falun rang in my ears all along. Therefore, once again I read through Zhuan Falun and all other books and articles by Master Li that I could find on Minghui. While reading those books, I felt a very strong energy field around me; I felt Falun rotating above my head and on my hands. I had once thought of becoming a Christian missionary; I had thought of living this life like an everyday person instead of as a cultivator. But Master Li provided answers to all my uncertainties in his lectures: All religions in the world can no longer offer salvation to human beings; and the pain from its being eliminated layer after layer will be eternal and endless when a life is paying for the evil karma it accumulated throughout its incarnations. It seemed clear to me that I had no other choice. Besides, I found that I couldn't stop reading Master Li's books any more. The more I read, the more I felt the righteousness of the Fa. Eventually, I took firmly the path of cultivation practice, no longer feeling miserable.
2. Stepping forward to verify Dafa, upgrading in the process of spreading Dafa
Master Li said in Lecture Three of Zhuan Falun that, "In the course of cultivation practice many of you will find that when practicing qigong, your spouses will often become very unhappy. As soon as you begin the exercises, your spouse will throw a fit at you." This is just what happened to me. At the very beginning, I would get a scolding even when I was learning the Fa and practicing the exercises just at home, so I had to be very careful. Even though I knew that there was a practice site at the University of Alberta every Tuesday, I dared not to join in. Missing the environment, I couldn't strive forward with every effort alone. It wasn't until February 2000, that an email changed me. Since I subscribed to a Falun Gong information mailing list I received updates on activities and information. The email informed me that Dafa practitioners in Edmonton were going to have three days of activities in the Chinese Mall during the Chinese Spring Festival. It also said that every practitioner was expected to join in due to a shortage of hands. After reading it, I felt a tidal surge of emotions. My tears stained my face as I thought of the tribulations that the practitioners in China had suffered. What was I afraid of? Shouldn't I go and clarify the truth of Dafa to people? I must go. After I told my husband about it, he immediately lost his temper. After an argument, he told me that if I went, he would divorce me right away. The next morning, when he saw that I was determined to join the activity, he began to pack his luggage and said that he would move out and then have the formalities of divorce done. I managed stay calm, and stepped forward firmly. Later on, my husband came to the Chinese mall since he couldn't find his passport. Even when I saw the sad expression on his red frozen face, my heart didn't move. I knew that whatever happened, I must attend this activity for promoting Dafa. When I went back after we finished that day's activity, my husband had already put back the luggage and was reading quietly. He didn't mention the divorce again. I joined in the next two days activities. I gained a lot through exchanging cultivation experiences with the other practitioners that time, and felt extremely happy and relaxed.
After that, whenever I joined the Tuesday night group or exercised with other practitioners, or participated in other Dafa activities my husband would swear at me, beat me, but he always tacitly consented to my joining these activities, though he didn't support me at all. I knew quite well that I still had the attachment of fear. And this attachment finally prevented me from going to appeal in front of the Chinese Consulate in Calgary on July 20, this year. My husband had actually agreed to let me go the night before. But the next morning, he changed his mind suddenly, saying that if I went to practice in front of the Chinese Consulate, I would bring trouble to my parents, and sister in China. Besides, he would phone my parents. This is really as the saying goes, "It will happen if you're afraid of it." The thing I feared the most was that he would phone my parents. And he did. As a result, my parents pleaded with me at the other end of line not to go. I was quite aware that I had to pass the test of sentimentality, so I told my parents firmly that I had made up my mind and would definitely go. But eventually, my husband managed to keep me at home that day. When I looked within myself, I felt the radical attachment still present, and that's why I was unable to step forward.
On September 29, a Friday, we decided to go to appeal in front of the Chinese Consulate in Calgary for the second time. I decided to act first and report afterwards. I specially went and asked for leave from my supervisor and the lecturer in order not to leave any excuses for my husband. I told my supervisor and lecturer frankly the purpose of my trip to Calgary, and gave them some Dafa materials as well since I realized that I should be open and above-board and besides, it was a good chance to let them know Dafa. I left a long letter and some Dafa materials to my husband before I left. I hoped deep in my heart that he could accept Dafa and support me and wouldn't hinder me any more. I realized I was actually acting out of selfishness.
I hadn't had good sleep for several nights. Sitting in the car driving towards Calgary, my thoughts weighed heavy on my heart. In Calgary, we all appealed by practicing in front of the Chinese Consulate. In addition, we shared our cultivation experiences with one another. Besides the practitioners from Edmonton and Calgary, there were also three practitioners from Toronto and Windsor. They went to Regina, helping with the 9-day seminar there. When they heard about our appealing activity, they went all the way from Regina to Calgary by Greyhound over night. I couldn't help weeping throughout the activity. I was greatly touched by the stories of those practitioners who had already stepped forward, clarifying the truth and spreading Dafa. I felt the distance between us as well. I couldn't say anything but my face was streaked with tears. A fellow practitioner said that it's because of my benevolence. I knew it wasn't. I felt that I was covered with Master Li's boundless compassion and had an indescribable feeling in my heart that I was offered salvation. Master Li said in his article "Digging Out the Roots" that "At the crucial moment when I ask you to break away from humans, you do not follow me. Each opportunity will not occur again." However, our great Master is still waiting for us and giving us the chance to step forward from the human side again and again in order not to abandon even one disciple.
On the way back from Calgary to Edmonton, my heart was no longer feeling so uneasy; instead, it was extremely tranquil. When we reached Edmonton, I told my fellow practitioner that I wouldn't have any tribulation when I came back home because my heart was as quiet as a still pond. I remembered the words in Master Li's article "Eliminate Your Last Attachments" that "If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will become non-existent. This is not to be self-imposed, but is achieved by calmly and truly letting go of it."
Thus, this test passed. But just one day after that, another test came. On October 1, the Chinese Students' and Scholars' Association at the University of Alberta would host an evening party celebrating the National Day. An advertisement was made in the local Chinese News Times. And officers from the Chinese Consulate in Calgary would also attend the party. We regarded it a good opportunity to clarify the truth to the Chinese people here. So we decided to hand out flyers and materials. When I told my husband in the morning, there came my tribulation. Without a word, he beat and kicked me. Then he asked who was the organizer. He became even more violent when I told him "It's me!" He found a rope for packing luggage, wrapped it around my neck, and dragged me into the bedroom. He pressed me on the bed and covered my face with a pillow. Then he wrapped my neck with the rope again, saying that he would rather die together with me. At first, I was a little bit scared. I recited in my heart again and again the poem "Non existence" by Master Li. "To live without pursuit, To die without remorse, Extinguish all improper thoughts, Buddha hood is not difficult to cultivate." Gradually, I got rid of the attachment of fear. I thought that if Master Li had arranged for me to die, then that's the path my cultivation should take, and I would like to die. My husband asked me to phone my fellow practitioners, telling them I would leave in the evening. Then I told him that I was bound to go. Then he asked, "What do you want to say before you die?" I was no longer afraid of death and felt very calm in my heart. I told him, "Falun Dafa is a righteous Fa. The day when all Dafa disciples join together in celebration will definitely come." I also asked him not to damage my Dafa books, and to give all the Dafa materials in my office to my fellow practitioners. After this, he left the bedroom. After a while, he came back and patted me on the head tenderly, saying, "It's all right now. Do whatever you should." I burst into tears at the time, feeling that I owed him so much because it was my own karma that brought him so much misery.
The test lasted several hours and I never stopping crying. In the past, if I cried like this, my eyes would be red and swollen. Then I realized that I shouldn't cry any more, otherwise, how could I spread Dafa with my red and swollen eyes. I looked at myself in the mirror. To my surprise, there weren't any signs that I had cried. This is the power of Dafa. I felt so grateful to Master Li in my heart. In the evening, when I saw people pick up Dafa materials from my hands, I was so gratified since I knew they would probably be saved by distinguishing the truth from the lies after reading the materials I handed to them today.
After passing one test after another, I could sit in lotus position for 40 minutes. It was very hard for me to sit single leg crossed before. All my fellow practitioners were happy for me. I realized that I started cultivation late, and I wished to go back home with Master Li as well. How could I accomplish this? I had to bear more suffering. Actually, my husband is very kind and considerate to me when I don't practice. He's the kind of person who is ready to help others. As Master Li said, there was no coincidence in our cultivation path, and there is a reason for "inevitability". The suffering I had and the tribulations that practitioners in China had cannot be mentioned in the same breath. Why I share it with you is out of the sincere wish that those who are in the similar situation can also step forward, joining the current of spreading Dafa and verifying Dafa, becoming a true particle of Dafa. Master Li said (meaning) you were doing something for yourself when you were doing something for Dafa. Let's cherish this precious chance not occurring once in thousands of years, and be responsible to ourselves.
Thanks, Master Li. Thanks, everyone.
Heshi
Category: Journeys of Cultivation
