(Clearwisdom.net)
In 1990, my husband and I moved abroad. I was a very gentle, good wife. I cared for my husband very much. I believe that I was very considerate of, and very friendly towards my family, including my in-laws. My husband and I worked very hard together. We opened our own business and it was so successful that even Chinese businesspeople who have lived abroad for a long time admired us greatly. Because of our success, officials in the Chinese Embassy, from the ambassador and his wife down to the staff members, were our close friends. We were very wealthy, and in addition, we have a lovely daughter. With all of this worldly success, I was supposed to be happy and satisfied. However, I often felt lonely and scared when I was alone. What would my next objective in life be? I didn't know.
One day in 1997, an official from the Embassy came to our home for dinner. He mentioned Falun Gong. When I first saw Teacher's picture in the blue-covered book, Zhuan Falun, for some reason I couldn't keep from shedding tears. I didn't know why, but I just couldn't speak a word. Before that official was transferred back to China, he gave me a set of audiotapes of the Teacher's Fa-lecture in Jinan City. Back then, I didn't know any fellow practitioners to share experiences with, and I had no idea how to strive forward in cultivation. However, I listened to Teacher's lectures every day when I was out driving. My husband was neither for nor against my learning Falun Dafa.
When the persecution of Falun Dafa started on July 20, 1999, my husband and I happened to be in China. I was confused by the overwhelming propaganda that was spread all over the newspapers and TV programs. My husband believed what the media said, and he urged me to stop practicing Falun Dafa. After carefully listening to what the media was saying about Falun Dafa, I was shocked by the extent of their deceit because I knew there are no such words as, "you shouldn't take medicine when you are ill," in Zhuan Falun at all. Teacher taught us how to be good people, and how to improve the moral standards of society. Teacher led us to a cultivation way to return to our true self. There is nothing unrighteous in Falun Dafa. I came to realize that the media was lying.
After we returned to our home outside China, I didn't stop practicing Falun Dafa. However, I didn't know how to continue my cultivation. At that time, I didn't know about the Clearwisdom website, nor did I have access to Teacher's new articles. Later, I learned from the local newspaper that a practitioner had come to our area from China. I immediately contacted her. After talking to her, I came to realize that I should step forward to validate the Fa. Soon, the first practice site in our area was set up, and we started to make truth-clarification flyers. We delivered the flyers to each of the Chinese restaurants in our area.
Our activities made the Chinese Embassy very uneasy. They called me and told me to think about how my actions would affect my husband and the business he was doing with China. I said, "My Teacher told me to follow the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Tolerance and to be a good person. There is nothing wrong with that. You said it is wrong to practice Falun Gong today. However, the officials in the Embassy used to practice Falun Gong with me. Why do you treat it so differently now, when it's obviously the same practice that it was before? Shouldn't you truly think about who is wrong?"
We continued to go out to spread the Fa, to distribute truth-clarification flyers, and to mail truth-clarification materials to the local Chinese people. Because I didn't have a deep understanding of the Fa, I maintained strong everyday person's attachments when I clarified the facts. For example, when the Embassy called the police to drive us away from practicing the Falun Dafa exercises opposite the Chinese Embassy, I developed the attachment of a competitive mentality. After studying the Fa and sharing understandings with fellow practitioners, however, we came to realize that we should understand the Fa from the Fa and we should be compassionate towards all sentient beings -- including the officials and the staff from the Chinese Embassy. Every Saturday afternoon when Falun Dafa practitioners around the world to send forth righteous thoughts together, we do so opposite the Chinese Embassy to eliminate the evil residing in other dimensions. The police never came again to drive us away.
During this period of time, my husband felt the changes I was undergoing. He said that I turned into a person who cared only for Falun Dafa and not for him any more. He said that I specifically fought against the Chinese Embassy and didn't care about his interests at all. I knew very clearly that his business requires the Embassy's help and support. Originally, an official of the Embassy introduced me to Dafa. However, the persecution of Falun Dafa had placed me, a person who used to be a close friend of the Chinese Embassy, on the opposite side of those Chinese officials. And this has negatively affected my husband's business. My family was facing a serious test and I felt trapped in the tribulation. I didn't know what to do. At that time, I simply wanted to solve what I perceived to be a personal problem. So I thought that what my husband did to me was just interference. Now when I look back on it, I realize that although my thoughts and actions back then appeared to be solely for Dafa, and although I appeared to be able to give up anything, including my family's interests, for Dafa, in actuality I was being very selfish inside because I was afraid that I would be unable to catch up with the progress of Fa-rectification. I was afraid that I would be unable to reach Consummation. The result was that my husband, an everyday person, couldn't understand me, so he blamed Dafa for my actions. He began to develop hatred against the Fa and against Teacher. One time when he got very angry at me, he tore up a few Falun Dafa books.
When I saw the torn books, I was shocked. I knew the seriousness of damaging Dafa books. Although it happened because of the evils' control in other dimensions, I came to realize that as a Falun Dafa disciple, I must have some omissions that were taken advantage of by the evil. They had used my omissions as excuses for their persecution and their so-called tests. They directly used sentient beings to undermine the Fa. Their true intention was to destroy all the sentient beings.
When my husband went out of town on business, I calmed down to truly look inside myself. I studied the Fa a lot every day. I also carefully read fellow practitioners' experience sharing articles that were published on Clearwisdom Net. Teacher has repeatedly told us that we need to study the Fa, send forth righteous thoughts, and clarify the truth to save sentient beings. I came to understand that whatever our family's attitude was towards the Fa, as Falun Dafa practitioners, we should clarify the facts to them as much as we can. I used to think that as long as I told him that Falun Dafa was good, I was done with my responsibilities and it would be his choice whether or not he listened to me. I didn't keep a compassionate heart towards him, nor did I try to think from his standpoint. He is not a practitioner. So he might not agree with me that Falun Dafa was good simply based on the fact that I told him in a few words that Falun Dafa was good. As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I wasn't strict with my words and my actions. I didn't display to him the breadth of mind, great benevolence and great forbearance that a true Falun Dafa practitioner should have. How could I expect him to immediately change his mind when he had been poisoned by the lies and slander? Teacher said,
"You are cultivators, whose conduct is [supposed to be] pure and righteous. There are so many people who think you're great just by having seen how you act. If we don't pay attention to our own behavior in our daily lives, everyday people will see our actions and, since they can't get to know you at a deep level such as by studying the Fa, they will just look at how you act. And it's possible that one sentence or one action of yours will make them unsavable or create a bad impression of Dafa. We need to think about these things." (From "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
After uncovering the root of the problem, I started to develop a truly compassionate heart towards my husband. When he came back from his trip, facing his anger, his cursing, and his misunderstandings, I was able to stay calm. I didn't let myself be driven by everyday people's attachments. Also, I frequently sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil that controlled him in other dimensions. Gradually, my husband felt the changes in me, and he witnessed a Falun Dafa practitioners' breadth of mind, great benevolence and great forbearance. He said to me, "You have changed. If it is the same Fa that made you change to the current you, I should say that you didn't do well before because you didn't understand the Fa well before. If this is the case, why should I be against your practicing Falun Gong?"
He stopped interfering with my going out to practice the exercises and my spreading the Fa. One time when he saw me sending forth righteous thoughts, he even said to me, "Please send forth righteous thoughts at me to eradicate the evils that are in my body." I shed tears when I heard that. I could see his compassionate side and I could see how eagerly the sentient beings are waiting to be saved. I came to understand that however well I do in my Fa-rectification cultivation, it will have a decisive effect on whether those sentient beings that I am responsible for could be saved.
Later on, two people who conduct business with my husband came over from China. Very soon after talking to me, they felt that I wasn't like the Falun Gong practitioners that the Chinese media has described. The Chinese media says that people who practice Falun Gong are all very stupid, that they don't want their families and they don't care for their relatives, and that they are very selfish since they only think of reaching consummation themselves. I showed them the pure and beautiful image of a true Falun Dafa practitioner. I also used my personal experience to explain to them what Falun Dafa really is. Later, when they came to our home for a break, I took the opportunity to show them the truth-clarification VCD programs. It was also the first time for my husband to see those programs. After they quietly watched the programs, I could tell that they were shocked by the truth. One of them said to me, "Please keep practicing Falun Gong. I support you."
As the Fa-rectification progress has been speeding up, each one of the Falun Dafa practitioners has been clarifying the facts to save all sentient beings. We might be the only hope of those people that we meet. So it is extremely important to base our words, our thoughts, and our actions on the Fa. We should be strict with ourselves, especially when we are with our families. This is because our families who are everyday persons see our actions all the time and they are judging us based on the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Tolerance. We should not give up on them simply because they haven't come to understand the truth. As long as the Fa-rectification has not ended, there is a chance for each and every being to be saved.
The above is my personal and limited understanding from my current level. Please correct me if I have said anything inappropriate.
