(Clearwisdom.net) I made a declaration last September; but now realize that it was only a declaration from an ordinary person, not from a Falun Dafa practitioner. At that time, I didn't really understand how serious a blunder I had made towards Dafa.
I was fortunate enough to obtain Dafa in 1997. After reading Zhuan Falun twice, I knew that I had finally found the truth of the universe and the real meaning of human life, which I had been seeking for many years. I decided that I would cultivate until I reached consummation.
Through several years of cultivation, I totally understood that Falun Dafa is the absolute truth of the universe from the standpoint of both perception and rationality. When the evil began to persecute Dafa, my faith in Falun Dafa was never shaken. With the help of fellow practitioners, I realized that I should step forward to validate Dafa without the attachment of life and death, and then I stepped forth without hesitation. In the labor camp, all the tortures, hard labor, and betrayals by other practitioners couldn't change my confirmation of Falun Dafa. I was never deceived by the evil "enlightenment" of others. Even after I was led along the path of evil enlightenment, I was still determined to safeguard Dafa with my life. Then how did it happen that I was led to evil "enlightenment"?
As Master says in "No Politics:" "Human society is a good place for cultivation, since everything here can induce attachments." I thought that I had let go of life and death during the process of stepping forward, but I did not realize that I had developed a new attachment of treating cultivation like work, as doing things for Falun Dafa. After breaking away from human notions again and again, I was pulled down by my attachments.
This happened in the labor camp in October 2000. After I defeated the evil's all-night attack once more, they suddenly stopped attacking me from outside. I thought I had passed another test and could relax a little. At this moment, an idea came to my mind: "It is so cruel inside the labor camp. Why don't you sign a statement and then get out to expose the evil?" When this thought first appeared in my mind, I was so astonished. I could not believe it was my own thought. But the evil knew very clearly that I had the attachment of doing "work," so after all the other methods failed, it caused me to think in a crooked way because of the attachment.
I struggled for several days. I tried to repel or suppress this thought, but I failed. My main consciousness was not strong enough and I still had attachments. Finally, I took this thought as my own and was controlled by the evil after that. At the beginning, I still knew that as soon as I signed, I could no longer say that I was a Dafa practitioner. Then my attachments told me I should sacrifice my own cultivation and consummation for Dafa. And step-by-step I was led along an evil path, believing I could find a way out of impossibilities. I even thought because I had passed all kinds of tests, I could then use this method to get out. This kind of thought is typical of "demonic interference from one's own mind" and extremely dangerous. How dare any life in this universe say, under any circumstances, that he need not obey the principles of the universe?
How could "evil enlightenment" develop in such a way? Besides my attachments, there was some very deeply hidden degeneration inside me, and my self-conceit also played an important role in misleading me. I thought I was very smart, smarter than everybody else. That was why I still thought that I was lofty enough to sacrifice everything for Dafa, and that I hadn't really denounced Dafa when I was controlled by the demonic interference from my own mind.
Before I was led to "evil enlightenment," my heart bled for my fellow practitioners who still felt well after being "reformed," not knowing what a dreadful situation they were in. I never expected that one day I would be in the same situation. This is how dreadful it is when one doesn't get rid of one's attachments!
Sadly, even after I was released from the labor camp, I still held on to my attachments, thinking that I could make up for everything by "working" for Dafa. I forgot Master's teaching that "the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments;" and I also forgot that Master had repeatedly told us to study Dafa more. I ignored the importance of the study, because I was too "busy." Those are the reasons why it took me so long to get out of "evil enlightenment."
Upon awaking from my long illusion, I found that the play on "the large stage" is near its end. How dreadful! If I still held onto my attachments and "evil enlightenment," I would surely be destroyed without even knowing why.
Upon awaking from my long delusion, I am too ashamed of myself to say anything to Master, who with his boundless mercy saved me again from the dreadful state of being led by the demonic interference from my own mind. I can only express my gratitude towards those who have helped me to awaken and apologize to those whom I once hurt with bad words or bad thoughts.
I solemnly declare once again that all the things I once wrote and said, which were not in accordance with Dafa, are null and void! I will try my best to follow Master in Fa-rectification in order to compensate for the damage I have brought to Dafa.
Zeng Zheng
2002/2/27
Category: Solemn Declarations
