(Clearwisdom.Net) Recently I read "The Relationship between Sickness Karma and Attachments" and was deeply inspired from this article. The writer of the article talked about the attachment of having fun, which she never realized herself. Compared with this practitioner, I also have a very strong attachment to having fun during cultivation. Sometimes I almost got trapped and could not realize it myself. The first time I realized it was during an illegal detention in 1999.
It was at the end of 1999. I was illegally detained for 15 days when I appealed for Falun Gong in Beijing. The first several days I was calm. Later, I felt irritated. Staying in a room the size of a few square meters, I felt oppressed. Sometimes, I felt lonely. Time passed very slowly. I anxiously expected to be released and recalled how my family, friends and I went on vacation and shopping. I longed to experience those times again. I figured I ought to have great fun after I was released. When this attachment came up, I felt more and more anxious and then other attachments came up too. Eventually I didn't pass the test under pressure.
After I came back I had a lot of regret and told another practitioner about this experience. The practitioner was quiet at first and then told me a story from the book "Journey to the West." The story says that Monk Tang went to the west to find a Buddhist scripture with his disciples. They passed a town that was having the flower lamp festival of January 15th on the lunar calendar. There was a big crowd, so Monk Tang went to see the lamps. As a consequence Monk Tang was captured by a devil. When his first disciple Sun Wukong found the devil, the devil said, "This disaster is caused by your Master's attachment to having fun." Monk Tang is a cultivator, and should put cultivation in the first place. How could he wish to have some human's fun and see those flower lamps? This is just a requirement for the cultivators of the past. We are Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples, and the standard set for us is even more strict. Our omissions, stemming from our own minds from cultivation among everyday people will show at crucial moments, especially under pressure. If we cannot handle this well, we'll bring losses to Dafa and to ourselves. Cultivation is very serious. We can never compromise for any human attachment. This practitioner's words woke me up. My attachment to having fun during cultivation is so strong that it has become natural to me. I could not even see it.
I remember when I was with this practitioner that I could not continue studying the Fa after two hours. I needed to either eat something or take a walk, or rest. That practitioner always sat straight up and studied for a long time. It only took this practitioner an afternoon to completely read Teacher's "Lecture at the Conference in Switzerland."
When I carefully recalled my cultivation experiences and examined myself, I surprisingly found that not only did I have a strong attachment to having fun during personal cultivation, but I brought it into Fa-rectification cultivation. Around April 25th, 1999, when I heard what had happened in Tianjin, I had the righteous thought to "protect Dafa" and soon afterwards I thought I could also vacation while in Beijng. "Appealing in Beijing" was for Dafa on the one hand, while on the other hand it was for my own attachment of having fun, instead of assisting Teacher with a pure mind.
I enlightened that the attachment of having fun comes from the pursuit of comfort. Both are selfish attachments, both try to satisfy ourselves and comfort ourselves, and that has caused us to not be able to bear hardships and loneliness.
The above is my own experience. Please correct me if anything is inappropriate.
