(Clearwisdom.net)
I am a young practitioner who was often puzzled with the meaning of life prior to my learning of Dafa in 1997. I often pondered issues such as: "What is the purpose of life? Where did human beings come from and where are they going? Do humans have souls?" Aside from being confused philosophically, I was also bothered by many illnesses physically. Before cultivation I suffered from a severe rhinitis. My nose was blocked all year round, and I would feel pain whenever I smelled something slightly unusual or breathed cold or hot air. Also I sneezed and had a runny nose all the time. Sometimes I sneezed dozens of times in a row. I had visited a few hospitals, but none of the specialists helped. I exchanged experiences with other people suffering similar ailments. All of them said that there was no effective medication and the illness was very difficult to cure; and I gave up my hope.
In 1997, I obtained a copy of Zhuan Falun from a relative. I was fascinated with its teachings when I began reading it. The karma-ridding process began the day after my beginning to practice. Shortly afterwards, the rhinitis that had bothered me for years miraculously disappeared. My hands and feet used to be very cold and now they became warm. Every day was a joy for me in those early days of learning the Fa. I felt that my spirit had found support. Especially during the group Fa studies that were conducted every day at dusk, I felt that my soul had found a home.
I have not been very diligent in my practice over the past few years. Master always gave me hints whenever I did well or did badly. Aside from feeling embraced, I felt that I was immensely in debt to Master.
I remember that in the early days of my cultivation, I was bombarded with criticism when I tried to introduce the Fa to a few elder colleagues in my company. I cared very much about other people's opinions of me, so I stopped going to the practice site from then on, and stayed home and read Dafa books on my own. A week later when I was half asleep one night, I saw a person walking to my bed. Then I heard a sentence: "Falun Gong rectifies the Fa." Then I heard a sharp, crisp sound and saw a brilliant golden flash. The sentence, the sound, and the golden flash appeared two more times before the person left. I woke up immediately, realizing that it was Master's law body giving me hints that I should return to my practice. So I did and continued till present.
Jiang's regime began suppressing Falun Gong on July 20, 1999, abolishing all practice sites. But I always believed steadfastly that Falun Dafa is righteous, and "Truthfulness, Compassion, and Tolerance" is the only standard that distinguishes between the good and bad. After they abolished the practice sites, I often stayed in bed late and did not persist in my practice. One night I dreamed that I went to the practice site at the daybreak and found that I was late again, and people there had already started. I hurried up. But I saw behind every practitioner was a Buddha, with curly hair and wearing a cassock. Every Buddha was transforming Gong for the practitioner, moving his arms back and forth. When I woke up, I felt deeply sorry that I did not persist in my practice.
Right before the 16th Party Congress, people from the police station and our company came to my house and asked me if I still practiced Falun Gong. Because of my attachment of fear, I told them no without hesitation. Immediately I felt that my legs sunk all of a sudden. Later I felt extremely miserable for my lack of courage and could not pull myself out for a long while. I did not even want to talk to those practitioners with whom I used to often share experiences. Later I read Master's article, "Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference," which says: "If you've fallen don't just lie there, get up right away!" After reading this paragraph, I appreciated the greatness of Master's benevolence so much. I decided that I should pull myself together and finish the last part of my journey with the righteous thoughts and conducts of an enlightened being. I realized that when you fall, you must get up as soon as you can and move forward. One must be able to validate Dafa, spread the truth and save the sentient beings under any circumstances. One has to be worthy of the title of Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. I want to declare solemnly that everything that I have said that was unfit to Master and Dafa shall be void.
The reality showed that benevolent Master did not give me up as a disciple even though I was not diligent. One day my husband tried to find fault with me all day long and verbally attacked me . I thought that I was a practitioner and I would not fight with him. That night I had a dream in which I turned to the first page of Zhuan Falun and looked at Master's picture. Master suddenly appeared to have emerged from the book as though it was a sculpture, in a colorful background. When I put my hands together to heshi and watched the whole thing with immeasurable respect, I realized that Master had shown me his law body because I had done well in "tolerance."
Benevolent Master, I will complete the last part of my journey well. Otherwise how can I be worthy of Master's saving me and the title of a Dafa practitioner?
(Editor's note: Her solemn statement will be published separately.)
2003-7-25