(Clearwisdom.net) In "Master's Message to the European Fa Conference held in Vienna," he said: "We should make our Fa Conferences grand gatherings in which we summarize what we've experienced and learned, find where we fall short, draw on what we have achieved, and establish the righteous thoughts of Dafa disciples."
While cultivating in the Fa Rectification period, I have found that there are four main attachments that I need to eliminate:
In this article I will describe how I have tried to become a better Fa-rectification period disciple by eliminating these attachments.
Wanting approval
I realize now that many of the things I have done as a cultivator, I have done really to win the approval of other practitioners. For example, when some people ask me to do things I have a natural tendency to say "yes" even if I do not think that it is the right thing to do. Some of you may disagree with this because I have said "no" to you. But this is very rare. For most people I speak to, I would agree with what they say. This is especially the case if they are veteran Chinese practitioners from the US, because I have the notion that American Chinese practitioners are at a higher level than everyone else. This is especially true if it is a veteran practitioner who has a very good reputation among other practitioners. The reason I found out about this attachment was when some veteran Chinese practitioners asked me to do something for an event we were holding in Greece. I immediately said "yes" to what they asked me to do. However over the next week, I became more and more unhappy because there was a part of me which knew that this was the wrong thing to do. However I was afraid of saying this to the veteran Chinese practitioners because I knew that they would be upset with me. Eventually the pressure inside my head became too strong and I told the other practitioners what I really thought. To my surprise, the other practitioners were very nice to me even though this was the first time I had ever disagreed with them in the eight years that I have known them. This was a big lesson to me. I really need to be more open and trust my own thoughts and walk my own path. I should not be concerned with whether fellow practitioners approve me of or not.
Wanting Control
I have always thought that I am not a controlling person. In fact I have an attachment of NOT wanting control. I would be much happier if I did not have to be a coordinator because I really do not like telling people what to do.
Perhaps many of you have realized this. I tend to speak very little and I tend not to tell people what to do unless the situation is very serious and there is no alternative.
Again I am beginning to realize that this is not good. I need to give up my attachment to not wanting control and to fulfill my duty in the proper way that Master Li has laid out in his articles. I need to be much stronger and speak up for what I believe to be right.
Of course, I do also have the attachment of control as well. When I am with people who I do not want to be with or if I have to do something that I do not want to do, I also want to control the situation, which is another attachment that I must remove.
Wanting Separation
This is one of my worst attachments. When I was a child, my father always brought me up to believe that I was an extremely special person. He always told me that I was better than others and that I could achieve much more than other people. In some ways this was good because I was always willing to do things, which other people thought were strange or different. For example, when I started practicing Falun Dafa most people that I knew thought that it is a very strange thing to practice. But this did not worry me. However now I realize that it is a very bad attachment. As I have the notion that I am different from everyone else, I do not want to be with other practitioners. So when we have reading groups or National Fa Study days, I find it very hard to be there. I really would be much happier if I was separate and on my own. This is a very bad notion, which I am trying my best to eliminate. I have to give up my notion of self and my selfish thoughts, and melt into the one body of Dafa disciples. We can then achieve much more in the Fa-rectification period.
Wanting Security
When I was young my family was very poor. We were immigrants in the UK and my father only had £5 when he arrived in this country. My whole family lived in one room in a house which was next to the railway line. My father also used to drink a lot and there were many times when my mother was left on her own to look after my sister and me. We did not have any relatives in this country and so we were very insecure. In my school, I was the only person who was not English and so I was bullied a lot.
I am not telling you this to obtain your sympathy but to explain why wanting security is a very strong attachment for me. As such, throughout my life I have been very insecure and worried about what will happen to me. Obviously as a Dafa disciple I should realize that there is nothing to worry about and that I am already a very lucky person. However, my notions are very strong and underneath many of my attachments is the need to be secure and safe and not to depend on anyone else. Although I know that I should not worry about money and my job, I still do. This is a very deep attachment of mine, which I am trying to eliminate.
I hope that you have found this helpful. Every day, through reading the Fa (1), I try to let go of my attachments so that my mind is peaceful and so that I can do my Fa-rectification work much better. Every day, I ask myself: do I want to be controlled by these attachments or do I want to be free? Even though I know that I have to do much better, by sharing this information I think that I have already made a big step forward. Please point out anything that is not appropriate.
Thank you for listening and thank you Master, for your endless patience.
(1) Fa: Law and principles; the teachings of Falun Dafa.