(Clearwisdom.net) After I obtained the Fa, the Jiang regime started wickedly persecuting Dafa cultivators. During the process of going to the streets to uphold and validate Dafa, expose the evil, and clarify Dafa facts, I tempered myself for several years, as did many other fellow practitioners. I wrote down my lessons and experiences to share with fellow practitioners.
Seeking Teacher for Many Years and Seeing Him at Last
I obtained the Fa at the end of March 1999. When I saw Teacher in the video for the first time, I realized that I found the genuine master I had been seeking for many years. After watching Teacher's Fa teaching video, I felt incomparable joy. Unexpectedly, when I had only read the Dafa books a few times, and was still not skilled at practicing the exercises, the nationwide suppression began. Using my shallow understanding of the Fa and justice as an ordinary person, I dared to criticize the so-called six stipulations by the Ministry of Public Security, and dared to argue with the police face-to-face. My 3000-character-long written document dumbfounded the police and my workplace leader. I refused to turn in my Dafa books and I continued to practice the exercises.
Too Many Attachments Result in Tribulation
As the evil persecution became more and more rampant, I heard of many people writing Guarantee Statements to give up cultivation and also turning in their Dafa books. I felt that what they did was equivalent to betraying Buddha, and I was determined to do better. But Dafa teaches people to be genuine cultivators, so how could I be satisfied with doing better on only one issue? I made the decision to study the Fa every day. I could not recite Zhuan Falun from memory, so I recited Lunyu and Hongyin first. But I was not quite clear on how to eliminate my attachments. I took steadfastness as firm cultivation. In addition, my power of understanding was poor, and I only paid attention to Dafa's literal meaning. Therefore I always promoted Dafa at an ordinary person's level, sometimes getting angry while I spoke.
Afterwards I heard that some fellow practitioners who were arrested gave up their cultivation and even went to the opposite side. I then took for granted that I was doing better than they were during the persecution, and that I was a genuine cultivator. I also felt that appealing in Beijing was the only way to validate the Fa, hoping every practitioner would go to Beijing to appeal and force the Jiang regime to confess that the persecution was wrong. I could not enlighten to the Fa principles and I could not get rid of many attachments, and this provided excuses for the evil to again persecute me. Although I was arrested, detained, and fined many times, I still did not understand how to reflect on myself and improve my xinxing to stifle the evil. Instead I only endured with all my will. Although I managed to barely endure one time after another, I actually brought about losses in many aspects. At that time, I thought that I should suffer these hardships since I began cultivation late. But my family could not bear it and pressured me to give up cultivation. I refused. My husband therefore showed disrespect to Dafa and Teacher. I began to hate my husband and the chief criminals and accomplices who persecuted Dafa. I also mistook ordinary people who were involved in the persecution as evil beings, and those who were not persecuting Dafa as human beings. With such attachments, while I distributed Dafa material, my mind was not pure, and was not completely focused on saving sentient beings by helping them understand the true facts about Falun Dafa. As a result, the evil took advantage of my attachments. I suffered more tribulations and was illegally sentenced to a forced labor camp for two years. There I was "reformed" after enduring mistreatment and torture.
Fortunately, I firmly believe in Dafa and Teacher, and gradually recognized my mistake. Under Teacher's protection, I was able to return home after 2 months. My power of understanding was still poor then. My deep-seated ill will was again aggravated, and my compassion was weak. I often longed for nature and man-made calamities to wipe out the evil. I was cheerful upon learning that people who persecuted Dafa suffered karmic retribution. What a bad attachment that was. When I studied Teacher's new articles at the time, I felt that Teacher was commending me and criticizing others.
Of course the evil took advantage again and incited the police to send me to a forced labor camp. Even under such circumstances, I still looked outwards. Although I began cultivation late, I also contributed a lot. I also did well in clarifying the facts and distributing Dafa materials. One time I happened to run into a graduate student from a renowned university, a practitioner whom I treated as a cultivation role model. I used to believe that she cultivated very well. But she had now given up cultivation. Soon afterwards I found her evil side, which was buried very deep. I immediately realized that transformation is wrong. What bothered me most was that the labor camp began the so-called criticisms of Dafa. It actually made me aware of what I should do. I took advantage of every chance I could to remind fellow practitioners that "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" is the Fa, the principle of the universe, and that our tribulations result from deviation from that principle.
Righteous Enlightenment in the Fa Helps Me Get Rid of Attachments
Looking back after the tribulations, I repented deeply for not forging ahead diligently. Without Teacher's grace, I would have been totally ruined. When I studied the Fa again, I felt that Teacher's every word was pertinent and that I had all the shortcomings pointed out by Teacher. I also realized that I could only make up whatever losses I caused by doing the three things required by Teacher. The main reason I suffered persecution and walked a tortuous path was that I didn't understand the Fa on the basis of the Fa. Neither did I look at myself in the light of the Fa or assimilate to the Fa. Instead I judged others with the Fa. When the evil was persecuting Dafa, it was absolutely right to go out to validate the Fa. But a practitioner cannot genuinely validate the Fa if he goes out the door as a human being. It seems that I relied on Dafa to fight with people who persecuted Dafa because they were controlled by the evil. This resulted in my encountering tribulations again and again for years.
Realizing these things, I felt that cultivation was not so difficult if I conformed to ordinary human society to the maximum extent, just as Teacher taught. As long as I directed my words and deeds with Dafa's principles, looked inwards when I encountered contradictions, and was always considerate of others, I would slowly become more effective in validating the Fa. Soon afterwards I found myself to be more kindhearted, and the resentment in my heart was cleared away. I put the three things required by Teacher as my first priority every day. Meanwhile I arranged our household in perfect order and showed consideration for my family members in every possible way. Since I changed, everything around me also changed. My husband did not disturb my cultivation again, friends and relatives now accepted Dafa facts, several families began to study the Fa and practice exercises, neighbors and colleagues listened to my kind advice, and some of them asked me for Dafa books.
After studying the Fa and reading articles on the Clearwisdom website more often, I understood that fundamentally it is Teacher who is rectifying the Fa, while we are cultivating in the Fa-rectification period, validating the Fa and clarifying the truth. The purpose of clarifying the truth is to save sentient beings. Validating the Fa requires us to act in accordance with the Fa and uphold the glory of Dafa before people's eyes, while verifying that Dafa is truly a superior science instead of an idealist point of view. The evil factors are bad lives in other dimensions, and high-level lives ruined in the old universe. They are higher than the level of mankind. We are Dafa disciples, and Teacher and protective gods are guarding us. Nobody dares to interfere. The key issue is our minds. If our minds are focused on Dafa and we have righteous thoughts and actions, no one dares to interfere. If we conform to the arrangements of the old forces, then the evil is able to persecute us, and we make it difficult for Teacher and the protective gods to step in. During Fa-rectifying cultivation, our human side and divine sides coexist. The divine side, which understands Dafa, is higher than the evil. When our human side suppresses our divine side and we act like ordinary people, the evil will take this opportunity to incite evildoers to persecute us.
With the rapid advancement of Fa-rectification, among the three matters required by Teacher, saving sentient beings became the one that we must do and do well. This requires us to study the Fa often, maintain righteous thoughts and deeds, sincerely display the cultivated side with the purpose of saving sentient beings, and face people with a kind and merciful state of mind so that they will see our compassion, which is different from that of ordinary people. In addition, the reasons we give and the material we hold will help them to understand the facts about Dafa and truly be saved. The good effect I achieved this way also helped me realize the might of Dafa.
Currently the biggest barrier to saving sentient beings is fear. We are afraid of being abducted or being reported to the police. In my opinion, being unclear about Fa principles and not eliminating the evil factors completely because of our selfishness causes this fear. The process of Fa-rectification has advanced to its current state, and we have dashed through so many passes and hardships. Since Teacher and the Fa are together with us, as long as we have no loopholes in xinxing and act righteously, no one is qualified or dares to interfere. How can it be possible for gods to be afraid of human beings?
Understanding these things, everything went smoothly as I clarified the truth. I can sense the spreading gong when sending forth righteous thoughts, as its power is so great. Besides sending forth righteous thoughts at fixed times, I remember the Fa-rectification formulas when my mind is free. More obviously, my legs are not painful when I am sitting in meditation posture. I can sit for 2 or 3 hours in the meditation posture while studying the Fa. It seems that I have unloaded heavy burdens and relaxed completely, as if I were bathed in light.
Teacher said:
"A cultivating human being is not a cultivating god, and everyone makes mistakes in the cultivation process; the key is how you deal with them. Some people are able to recognize them and some aren't, and then there are people who don't want to recognize them because of their attachment of fear and some other factors. "(My Version of a "Stick Wake-up")
Only by living by Teacher's Fa, recognizing mistakes during cultivation, and improving while conforming with Fa principles in a timely manner can we walk a righteous path in the future.
December 24 2004
