(Clearwisdom.net) Master told us,
"The most fundamental characteristic of this universe, Zhen-Shan-Ren, is the highest manifestation of the Buddha Fa. It is the most fundamental Buddha Fa."
"As a practitioner, if you assimilate yourself to this characteristic you are one that has attained the Tao--it's just such a simple principle." ("Lecture One" in Zhuan Falun, March 2000 translation version)
On my way of finding my true nature I often measure right or wrong with my own notions when encountering conflicts. Sometimes when I considered situations from my own standpoint, I could not let go of my ego and forgot to measure everything with "Truth-Benevolence-Forbearance." I stumbled on my cultivation path when I could not look inward to assimilate into Dafa.
Once when I had shared experiences with fellow practitioners, they left after sending forth righteous thoughts at midnight. When walking fellow practitioners out I thought to be careful not to make too much noise. I was unable to push my key all the way in, so I slammed the door closed. When I came back I could not push the key in the lock to open the door, no matter how hard I tried. I was quite anxious. I was scheduled to leave on a business trip in the morning. I asked Master to help me, yet I could not open the door.
I reminded myself to look inward when encountering problems. I went to another practitioner's home for the night. Together we looked inward. The next morning, after sending forth righteous thoughts, I went back home, yet I could only push the key half way into the lock. I felt frustrated. I told myself if I had thought about others last night and had not slammed the door I would not have this problem now. As soon as I thought of this, all of a sudden the key went in the lock and I opened the door easily. I was surprised and realized that if I would think more of others I would not have these situations. Master said,
"some people may develop selfishness and gradually their level will be lowered. If they cannot stay at this level, they must drop down further." ("Lecture One" in Zhuan Falun)
How come I only thought of resolving the issue and did not remember to measure everything with the Fa and truly raise my level?
When out of town on a business trip I stayed in a hotel room by myself. In the evening I packed a bag of copies of Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and went out to distribute them. When I packed the last bag my manager knocked on my door, inviting me to go for a foot massage with them. I felt lucky that they had knocked on my door after I had returned. I told them I did not want to go, but they insisted I come with them. I agreed, thinking they could then prove that I was with them that night.
When we arrived at the massage parlor, I thought to myself: these days ordinary people are covered in karma. How could I let an ordinary person give me a massage? Yet, all my coworkers were happy. I felt hard-pressed to refuse. I asked Master to help me to separate myself from ordinary people. Nevertheless, I had the massage. I felt sick after I came back home, with a headache and runny nose.
When I eventually told another practitioner of my experience, the practitioner said, "It is you who is cultivating. How could you ask Master to cultivate for you? Your heart was not right. It is a correct and proper thing to distribute Nine Commentaries. Why would you want to do something to cover it up? You must have exchanged karma during the massage. Next time you should refuse to go."
I was shocked listening to the practitioner. I made up my mind that from then on I should measure everything with the Fa, not with human notions. Yet I am still preoccupied with myself, care about how well I cultivate, and felt bad; how come I could not arrive at realizations that others could? How could I deal with issues from the standpoint of an ordinary person instead of considering things from the Fa?
On my way home I called my husband twice to come meet me, but he did not answer the phone. When he came I was unhappy. The fellow practitioner next to me said, "How could your Gong improve when you cannot be patient with such a trifle?" I felt worse; my mind felt so uneasy. I know it was not my true self who felt uneasy; it was the human notions behind about recognition, losing face and other attachments that were impacted. Though it is hard to let go of the attachments, I am a Dafa practitioner and I must let go!
For a period of time I was busy as a coordinator setting up small Dafa materials production sites. My tasks included transporting and installing equipment and training others to use it. I also printed Dafa books and assembled them. In the meantime I distributed the Nine Commentaries and helped others to withdraw from the CCP. I was so busy that I did not take time to study the Fa. I wanted to set up more materials production centers, hoping I would then have time to study the Fa. Many practitioners were willing to set up materials production centers, but they did not know what to do. As a result I was busy doing the work and did not spend enough time to study the Fa and do the exercises.
One night I had a dream: many practitioners were following Master, and I was there too. I said I have luggage that I need to get, so I left Master to find my luggage. I searched through two rooms and saw my luggage through a window, but I found the luggage to be so heavy that I could not carry it. I felt remorse in the dream; how could I leave Master for the luggage? How silly I am! Right then a person came to me and said, "Master is still waiting for you." Then I awoke from my dream.
Upon awaking I realized my attachment to busy work had become heavy baggage for me, yet I carried it all the time and did not study the Fa. This was a very dangerous situation; sooner or later I would leave Master if I would not change. I must study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts more often. This is the only way to ensure my walking on my path of validating Dafa.
I started to study the Fa more. When reading Master's new articles I understood how to deny the old forces, understood that if our thoughts were not on the Fa, we would have followed the old forces' arrangements. Each time I understood this, I realized how precious the Fa is, how important studying the Fa is! I realized that assisting Master in validating the Fa and rescuing people is such a solemn responsibility.
One day I gave a copy of Nine Commentaries to two coworkers at the same time; one of them was a previous deputy director. This coworker was quite afraid after reading it. He told the other coworker to give him the other copy. He gave both copies to my work place leader and told them I was distributing the book.
When another coworker told me this, I knew I had omissions. I should clarify the truth before distributing the Nine Commentaries and should do it individually. Now I had missed the opportunity to offer them salvation, and one did something bad for himself. I decided to talk to them one more time, to make it up. I visited the two coworkers' homes on a Saturday. The coworker who had been asked to give away his copy of the Nine Commentaries was surprised and said he had worried about me being fired. I told him I was worried more about him. I apologized for giving him the Nine Commentaries in front of others. I clarified the truth to him, told him how I had clarified the truth to people in a 610 Office and to our director. I told him I had not done anything wrong and would not be fired. I told him I hoped he would understand the truth. He agreed to withdraw from the CCP right away.
The coworker who turned in the books was quite surprised when he saw me. He seemed very weak and sick, so I asked how his health was. He only kept reassuring me I was not in trouble. Later, nothing happened to me. This experience made me aware of how narrow the cultivation path is. We are unable to walk this path loaded down with any human notions.
Another experience I had relates to money. We must be careful in dealing with money. My husband takes care of our household financial management. I do not pay much attention to money, but at the Dafa materials production site I am in charge of the money. I know it is an important task. All the money is from Dafa practitioners' savings, and I put it into a special box.
Once I hired a handyman to install screens for my window. I was busy telling the handyman the truth and forgot to get the money. When the handyman agreed to withdraw from the CCP, he finished his work also. He told me I owed him 900 yuan. I decided to first borrow 900 yuan from the material site's money box and would reimburse the materials site later.
I was busy in the following days and forgot to get the money. One night I had a dream that I saw a cell phone on the street. I asked around, but no one said they had lost a cell phone. I waited in the street for the owner to come. When I woke up, I wondered why I was tested in the dream about money. Then I remembered the 900 yuan. What a big mistake I had made. I went to the bank immediately to get the money and returned it. My mother, who is also a Dafa practitioner, told me not to make such a mistake any more. We must not touch money from other practitioners, no matter what happens.
Cultivation is truly a serious matter. Nothing we encounter is a small matter; every step is crucially important. We should not stop at our current level. If we think we are better than we were in the past, or better than fellow practitioners, we must pay attention and eliminate such an attachment; otherwise the attachment will grow and take us down the wrong path.
When measuring myself with the Fa, I know I am far from perfect. We should cultivate ourselves according to the Fa when encountering issues, look inward to find our own problems, and do the three things well. We must study the Fa well, assimilate into the Fa, keep our righteous thoughts and let go of our ego. This is the only way for us to continue on the Fa-validating journey, on the path to returning to our true nature.
The thoughts expressed above are my personal understandings at my current level; please kindly point out any errors.
September 22, 2006