(Clearwisdom.net)
Today, I read an article in Minghui Weekly (Issue 244) called Starting with Myself and Becoming One of the Countless Flowers on the Groundand deeply identified with the author's feelings. I have been wanting to write down my own thoughts, but with all kinds of attachments, I delayed this article until today. After I came home from work today, I realized that the biggest interference stopping me from writing experience sharing articles is my attachment of not wanting to have a strict requirement on myself. I always felt that if I wrote it down but could not follow it, I was not a genuine cultivator; I would only be making empty promises and trying to deceive Master. If I did not write it down, then it seemed that I could still do things as I pleased. Even if I was not diligent, Master would not blame me. I was really deceiving others and myself! Cultivation is so serious and time is so limited. I should awaken, and from now on write down my cultivation experiences and push myself to proceed more diligently, starting from myself and becoming one of the countless flowers on the ground.
When Master first told us to clarify the truth to Chinese people, we did not have any production site that could make materials. We could only rely on those practitioners who could make some copies of Master's Fa-lectures and other materials at work. We did not have stickers at that time. Afterwards some stickers were spread to our area from other areas. It was strange that beforehand I did not even know there was two-sided tape available.
Because we only had a few materials, I went to the store to buy some two-sided tape and paper to make some posters saying things such as Falun Dafa is good.I usually finished writing them in the evening and went out to post them in the daytime whenever a chance allowed. Gradually I had less and less attachment of fear and had more and more courage. My handwriting also gradually improved.
In time, local materials production sites were established along with the advancement of the Fa-rectification. After we had sources for materials, I unconsciously hid this small flower of myself and started to rely on other materials production sites.
Two years passed by quickly. After studying the Fa repeatedly and reading the lessons on Minghui Weekly"that practitioners have learned with their life, I felt deeply disturbed. I realized I could no longer rely on others and had to take my own path.
I decided to learn how to use a computer and the Internet. In the past, when we talked about computers, it seemed like a child talking about going to university. It felt even more difficult than going to heaven for one illiterate child to attend college. But I could not sit idle and enjoy the fruits of other practitioners' efforts. As a Dafa practitioner, I should learn - no matter how difficult. Because I had such a genuine thought to save sentient beings, I learned how to use the computer very quickly. I felt deeply that this was due to Master's support and Dafa's mighty virtue. The practitioner who taught me how to use the computer encouraged me, You have talent in using the computer and you should learn it carefully!
During this process, my husband (also a practitioner) and I often made posters and banners to clarify the truth. My husband bought some paper boards and engraved Falun Dafa is good in hollow characters on them. He used the opportunity when he drove a taxi in the evening to spray paint Falun Dafa is good on walls using the paper boards and spray paint.
Later, after our coordinator was arrested, I started to make truth materials formally. Because our truth materials production sites were destroyed, I moved computers and other equipment back home. The first day I started to produce truth materials was also my first time printing Minghui Weekly. Because the printing procedure that I learned applied to the desktop, which was a bit different from the printing procedure of the laptop used to produce truth materials, I was immediately confused and had to wait for my husband to come back in the evening. Unfortunately, when my husband returned from work, I found that he was not good at using the laptop either. My husband tried from 9 p.m. to midnight to get it to work. For an entire day, he did not have time to study Dafa, send forth righteous thoughts or have a rest. He angrily woke me and said to me that I should not have brought the equipment home if I did not know how to use it. I was not upset and only said, You should go to sleep now and I will try it myself. So my husband quickly went to sleep.
I sat in front of the computer by myself and begged for Master's help in my mind, Master, I am not trying to show off. It is just because I am a Dafa disciple and I should do this! Tomorrow other practitioners want to read Minghui Weekly, so I have to produce them tonight. Could Master please help me!
When I started the computer, I sent forth righteous thoughts and at the same time looked for the cause of the printing problem. I did not feel impatient. I only thought that I had to print out the Minghui Weekly. The mouse kept moving until 3 a.m. in the morning without anything working, but I still did not feel discouraged or give up. (In fact, in the past, what I learned was only how to start and turn off the computer, how to type words, and how to print materials. It was only an accidental opportunity that another practitioner who was busy with printing materials had to work on something else and asked me to help with the computer, but I knew nothing about how to change parameters in the printing program.) Accidentally, I saw the data in one item and I suddenly had a thought, Oh, this is the reason. After my mouse clicked on it, the materials printed correctly. I excitedly thanked Master. It was the first time I strongly felt that Master's hint was real. I immediately woke my husband, Get up and take a look, I printed it out. My husband also felt extremely happy.
In this way, I produced truth materials for a couple of months. My feelings during this process were beyond expression. But I always felt some kind of invisible pressure on me. I deeply understood that this was evil interference trying to stop me from printing materials, but it did not succeed. In writing this article, I realize how difficult the situation for practitioners at materials production sites is. Therefore, I would like to ask all practitioners to please help send forth righteous thoughts to support practitioners working on materials to clean up all evil and rotten ghosts at truth materials sites. We should never complain that those practitioners had this attachment or that attachment. Without the hard work of practitioners at truth materials sites, how could we timely read Master's lecture and Minghui Weekly. There are many things that I would like to say, but due to limited time, I will only share one sentence from Master,
"Be careful: When a problem arises, do not try to find out who should be held accountable. Instead, you should examine your own conduct. Do not try to look into who wrote them. Take a lesson from it and be careful in the future.( Correction" - Essentials for Further Advancement)
Later, practitioners who were kidnapped and had evil understandings reported many things to the police. My husband was kidnapped and persecuted. At that time the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) arrested many practitioners at the materials production sites, and our truth materials sites seemed to power off. In the darkness created by the lack of materials, I recalled the various difficulties over the past few years and I felt deeply how serious cultivation is. If we did not have those attachments, if we had listened to Master's instructions and put Fa study as the first priority, these things would not have happened. When I think about this, I often deeply regret my poor performance.
In the darkness I did not feel depressed, as I still had Master and I still had Dafa and other fellow practitioners. Master's teachings in my mind were like stars in the darkness. I firmly found other practitioners to encourage each other, which helped me go through that difficult time period.
At present, I no longer feel lost or pursue gigantic actions on the surface. My mind often feels as calm as still water and my mind is full of thoughts of how to save sentient beings.
After several years' difficulties and practice, I am making stickers again. One habit which I have developed is to copy into a notebook those sentences on Minghui Weekly or truth flyers that could help everyday people understand the truth. When I write truth sentences on stickers, I am able to find suitable truth sentences very easily. I have also learned how to draw lotus flowers. I paint the stickers and then write truth-clarifying sentences on them. Sometimes I look at them and see how beautiful they are! They are very attractive when we post them on electricity poles!
Fellow practitioners, let's start to take actions together. The more material we write, the less pressure there will be for practitioners who work on producing truth materials. This will enable them to have more time to study Dafa and to send forth righteous thoughts.