(Clearwisdom.net)
A few practitioner couples around me fight frequently. Whenever a husband or wife feels unhappy, he or she says, "If I were an ordinary person, I would have divorced her (or him) longtime ago." At first I just told them not to say such irresponsible things, but when one male practitioner was forced to stay away from home after escaping from the police following his arrest for distributing truth-clarifying material, I realized that this is a serious matter that needs to be discussed with married practitioner couples.
The reason that there seems to be so many unresolvable conflicts affecting married couples' cultivation environment, which causes one partner to want to divorce the other, is that we still have many attachments that are being touched upon and we do not want to give them up.
We have grown up in an environment based on a combative and fighting philosophy intentionally created by the CCP. We hear and see fighting daily, making us feel that this is the only way to resolve things. The same problem exists in younger couples as well, manifesting in wanting to force opinions and standards onto others and finding fault with others when conflicts arise. Sometimes one does not sense it, and sometimes one does sense it, but still does not want to give up the attachment. In this case, one makes mistakes knowingly, and conflicts between two partners may escalate to the extent that a fight ensues. Later one will feel tired of marriage. Knowing that the bottom line for a practitioner is not to divorce, one may resort to talking about it all the time. How is that different from an ordinary person, then?
No practitioner is perfect. Many factors originating from the far-away cosmos have caused us to have different views and methods of dealing with things. Who can say that one's view on a certain issue is absolutely correct?
Teacher said in the article "Path" in Essentials For Further Advancement II:
"A cultivator has no role models. The path each person is to take is different, because each person's foundation is different, the sizes of their various attachments are different, the characteristics of their beings are different, their jobs among everyday people are different, their family environments are different, and so on. These factors determine that each person's path of cultivation is different, that how they get rid of their attachments is different, and that the sizes of their tests are different. Therefore, amidst the manifestations of things it's very hard to find a path that others have made, and it's even less possible for a person to get a ride down one. If there really were pre-made paths and effortless rides, that definitely would not be cultivation."
When I read this, I finally realized why there are such big differences in the ways that we perceive and deal with many issues. I believe that every practitioner couple would have the same realization. Then how shall we face these differences? We should follow Teacher's guidance in "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.":
"So what's their state of mind? It's tolerance, an extremely immense tolerance, being able to accept other beings, and being able to truly think from other beings' perspectives. This is something a lot of you haven't achieved yet in your cultivation, but you're gradually catching on and achieving it."
As lives elevating in Dafa, we realize through studying the Fa how precious Dafa is and how lucky we are. We all know that as practitioners in the Fa-rectification period, we are Teacher's disciples and Teacher controlled our previous lives. The cultivation path of married practitioner couples, in particular, is not be beyond Teacher's arrangement. The predestined relationship of a husband-wife relationship is by no means a casual one. It certainly cannot be just a simple relationship to satisfy what is happening in ordinary people's environment. Otherwise, the path that we take would not be the most righteous. According to Teacher's arrangement, we must not only practice this form of cultivation in this most complicated environment of ordinary people, we need to be exemplary in each and every way in human society. This includes maintaining a harmonious relationship between husband and wife in this society that fosters many bad things in marriages. We are not to force ourselves to do things this way. Rather, this is the natural manifestation of a practitioner who has reached the level of cultivation expected of him or her. These are expected results when both parties of a practitioner couple, in their attempt to elevate the whole group, put themselves aside and keep elevating themselves using higher and higher standards.
In other words, the predestined relationship of a husband and wife in Dafa is sacred. It is a cultivation environment that Teacher carefully created for us, so that we can more effectively help in the work of Fa-rectification. In the short time allotted to us to do the three things, we need to fully utilize the time and space available to do them well. If we are attached to pursuing ordinary people's comfort, happiness, convenience, or emotions, we will be pushing aside the sacred mission of Fa-rectification. It is tantamount to committing a crime as far as a Dafa disciple with such a great mission is concerned.
Some practitioners do not truly want to get divorced. Rather, they are only verbally venting their unhappiness. But one has to be careful: both the thoughts and the words of a cultivator have power. In the eyes of the immortals in the universe and of the dark minions, rotten demons, and evil spirits, any thought that deviates from the Fa can be used as an excuse for persecution, not to mention the existence of such a big gap.