(Clearwisdom.net) Prior to practicing Falun Gong, I was a very active person. One day when I went to the park, I saw a lot of people doing qigong practice near the entrance to the park. I asked for information and learned that it was Falun Gong. It must have been some kind of predestined relationship: I was a person who loved dancing very much, but since then, I have chosen to practice Falun Gong. Not very long after the first encounter, I found a local Fa study group and began my journey of cultivation.

After I started practicing Falun Gong, my body changed dramatically. The illnesses that I had had for many years all disappeared, and my mental outlook also underwent a refreshing change. I did not get upset as easily as before, and I also had a more harmonious relationship with my family. Because I truly felt that Falun Dafa was a wonderful practice, I went to many different places to promote Falun Dafa, hoping that more people could obtain the Fa and practice.

As for cultivation, I used to only know that the Fa could teach people to be good human beings, return to their original and true selves, and get away from all worries and pains in this world. It was my dream to return to the world that I was originally from. However, other than that desire, I never carefully thought about why I was cultivating and what the deeper meaning was of becoming a higher being or a Buddha. Because I did not have a truly clear goal of cultivation, when the Chinese Communist Party started the persecution against Falun Gong on July 20, 1999, I could not validate the Fa with a rational mind and took a tortuous path. However, with mercy, Teacher never gave up on me. So I followed Teacher's teaching of not giving up myself when failing a test, and I finally came back to the right path of validating the Fa. I am sharing some of my experiences below.

As Teacher pointed out long ago, exercising and studying together is the best cultivation environment to help us improve at the fastest speed. It is the evil persecution that forced us to lose that environment. Therefore, we should negate the arrangements of the old forces and keep our cultivation path straight. Especially at this critical time in the Fa-rectification period, the evil forces are facing complete elimination, and so they are becoming more vicious. They are trying all possible ways to create gaps between practitioners and add tribulations as well.

How do we face each step in front of us in cultivation? I think we should first negate whatever the old forces have arranged and remove any interference. I knew there was a Fa study group nearby that studied together, but Fa study in this group had become a mere formality, and there was no experience exchange at all. In order to overcome this irregular situation, I thought I should give up my ordinary person's thoughts, my vanity, and fear of losing face. Also to help improve everybody's cultivation level together, I should give up all my personal attachments. At the same time, I realized that I shouldn't have an incorrect thought of "helping fellow practitioners in order to change their bad conditions."

Teacher's Fa of the universe can overcome anything and everything, and anything incorrect shall be assimilated according to the Fa. The Fa remains still at all times; it is unchanging and unbreakable. We should assimilate according to the Fa and become a particle of the Fa. This is our responsibility as a practitioner, and every practitioner is functioning as a particle of the Fa. Everything we do is for our improvement and for helping new practitioners obtain the Fa, and it will also create the right cultivation path for compassionate people in the future. Therefore, this is no such thing as "one helps another" in the cultivation. As practitioners, we are all together as one unit, and one practitioner's problem is my problem. We should study the Fa together with a pure mind of improving xinxing together as a one whole body.

With such an understanding in mind, I went to the study group. I noticed that everyone had changed: they used to only study and read the book and then just leave, but on that day, 10 of us began to exchange ideas after reading. Fa study then ceased to be a mere formality.

From this experience, I understood that no matter what kinds of things we do, only when we have the right point of view based on the Fa and when we use the Fa to guide ourselves and give up ordinary attachments, then nothing will be difficult. We should break through gaps between practitioners and create a positive and healthy cultivation environment.

From studying the Fa, especially the most recent teachings from Teacher, I wanted to do the three things well. However, while doing the three things, I found the results were often not good. When I clarified the truth, ordinary people could not accept or understand. At the same time, I had a lot of worries and fears. Therefore, I looked into myself and found that my fundamental starting point was not correct. On the surface, I was doing the three things and keeping up with the progress of Teacher's Fa-rectification just like other practitioners. However, I was doing so to make up for the losses and damage I had caused earlier and so that I could keep up with the Fa-rectification and the improvements in my level, but I was not doing those things for the Fa. The Fa of the new universe, however, is for others.

I used to envy those disciples who can clarify the truth well, and often thought that if I could somehow get rid of my fear, I could easily tell the facts to more people and save them, and that would be wonderful. When I exchanged this idea with an older practitioner, she replied, "If you keep thinking like this, you will wait forever and never get rid of the fear."

So the problem is still to look into myself. I found myself getting nervous if I did not go out to distribute truth-clarification materials for about two days. When that happened, I realized that I was very unstable and not interested in doing anything. So was such a bad feeling caused by not being able to save people, or was it caused by my own attachment? I asked myself and believed that it was still my fundamental attachment that caused the fear, and behind the fear was my selfishness. Teacher told us:

"Validating the Fa is cultivation, and what you remove in the cultivation process is none other than the attachment to self; you can't, instead, go and exacerbate the problem of validating oneself, even if you do it unwittingly. When you're validating the Fa and cultivating, that is a process of removing self, and only when you do that are you really validating yourself." ("Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students")

My goal of clarifying the truth was not pure and contained elements of proving myself. Sometimes, such an attachment was hard to realize, but it prevented me from doing the three things well. Studying the Fa is for laying a good foundation to clarify the truth and validate the Fa, but if I could not understand the Fa well, I could not clarify the truth well. Therefore, I began to carefully study the Fa. Rarely, however, could I get the true meaning from the Fa while studying. Why? I again looked into myself for reasons. I realized that I feared losing my level of cultivation, and I studied the Fa with such a thought. Such a notion was very disrespectful to the Fa. No wonder I could not get a better understanding of the Fa! Buddhas and Taos would not let the deeper meaning of the Fa manifest in front of me as long as I had such a dirty thought in mind.

Teacher has told us in the scripture, "My Version of a 'Stick Wake-up:'"

"A cultivating human being is not a cultivating god, and everyone makes mistakes in the cultivation process; the key is how you deal with them. Some people are able to recognize them and some aren't, and then there are people who don't want to recognize them because of their attachment of fear and some other factors."

Teacher said he was congratulating those practitioners who had overcome the test. At my level of cultivation, whether I could be worthy of the name of Fa-rectification Period Falun Dafa Practitioner and overcome any difficulties had become a stern test for me. Teacher had said long time ago:

"My disciples! Teacher is very worried, but this cannot help! Why can't you abandon ordinary human attachments? Why are you so reluctant to take a step forward?" ("Further Elimination of Attachments," Essentials for Further Advancement)

This step to me was like a mountain higher than the clouds, which blocked me from advancing. I am a Fa-rectification Period Falun Dafa Practitioner. It was Teacher who picked me up out of hell and suffered many pains for me. Teacher also protects me at all times. When I failed on my xinxing test, Teacher was distressed for me. When I became unstable on certain steps, Teacher woke me up and encouraged me. I cannot find the words to describe Teacher's mercy to me.

However, when I tried to advance to the next step, my acquired notions were there to block me, and I had a hard time overcoming such notions. Teacher said,

"Don't get lost in attachments of the world

Be steadfast in righteous thought

From the ancient to the present

Just for this moment" ("Plum Blossoms," Hong Yin II, provisional translation)

Teacher has prepared all the glorious things for us, and it's up to us to walk every step well as Fa-rectification Dafa disciples. I should cherish this very precious time to save the sentient beings and fulfill my prehistoric vows. I was left with no excuse to keep my attachments. I stopped thinking about my level or reaching consummation; instead, all I thought about was how to improve myself in Fa study and cultivation.

At that point I was able to relinquish many attachments. For example, I had been lacking confidence since I was very young. Teacher said,

"You're the luckiest being in the cosmos. You're a Dafa student, and even Gods in the heavens are envious of you." ("Lecture at the Australia Fa Conference in 1999")

When I studied those words, I was filled with energy and felt that my old notion had been eliminated. I became very confident--the things I do are the most solemn and magnificent.

Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference:"

"You need to be clear that a Dafa disciple's cultivation is about stepping out of humanness; it is to step out of the old colossal firmament that is restrained by all kinds of factors that result from endless, countless, innumerable beings in this old cosmos; it is to gain a new life, emerging from an environment that is at the last of the last stage of the formation-stasis-degeneration-destruction process of the colossal firmament."

I understood that I should rectify and purify myself, assimilate to Dafa, and save all sentient beings with predestined relationships. I should never let them down.

When I let go of the above attachments, clarifying the truth to people became easier. On a trip to my daughter's house, I distributed truth-clarifying materials and clarified the truth to people I met, such as the bus driver and the taxi driver. I put flyers on the bus, through open windows of cars parked by the road, and on bicycles. I saw a boy and asked him if he wanted to be a policeman when he grew up. He said, "Yes." I then gave him a pamphlet about a policeman who left China after witnessing the atrocities of the police in China torturing practitioners. I asked him to pass the pamphlet to his classmates. The materials I brought were all distributed. I saved four CDs for my neighbors.

When I returned, I met three young men in the elevator. I talked with them and gave each of them a truth-clarifying CD. They thanked me and went home. After I went home, I thought, "Will they watch the CD? I don't even know what kind of work they do. If they are policemen, I will probably get arrested. They live right next to me." But then I thought, "Teacher has told us to save sentient beings regardless of their jobs; if they are police, I should clarify the truth to them even more. If I can wake up their benevolent side, they would treat the detained practitioners better." When I thought about this, I felt I should be responsible to them. My goal is not merely to give them some truth-clarifying materials but to make them truly understand the truth and save them. After sending forth righteous thoughts, I knocked on their door. When the door opened, I saw one of them was watching the CD I had given him, and the other two were playing videogames. I clarified the truth to them. Some of them had already read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party online and were curious about the topic. I told them about the goodness of Dafa, how Jiang's regime persecuted practitioners, the false self-immolation incident on Tiananmen Square, and how I was persecuted. The young man who was playing video games stopped playing and took off his earphones to listen to me.

Through this incident I realized that people are waking up to the truth: their knowing side is making efforts to choose a good future for themselves. As practitioners we should have a righteous state of mind when clarifying the truth and not create obstacles for people because of our hearts. We should clarify the truth with pure hearts. I felt that I should not pursue quantity when clarifying the truth. Instead, I should take a responsible attitude toward the Fa and sentient beings and thoroughly clarify the truth. I should do the three things on a solid basis.

Above are some of my understandings, please kindly point out any mistakes.

03/06/2006