(Clearwisdom.net) For many years I have carefully read every issue of the "Minghui Weekly." First, I want to thank the Minghui/Clearwisdom website for helping me. Because of fellow practitioners’ encouragement, I want to share my cultivation experience. Please benevolently point out anything inappropriate.
A person deceived by the CCP regime's propaganda reported me. It happened when I was distributing truth clarification materials at around 1:30 p.m. on October 14, 2005. I was illegally arrested and taken to the local police department. I then remembered Teacher’s words as he spoke to Dafa disciples in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Chicago:"
"The only thing you have a role in is saving people..."
I was also reminded of fellow practitioners’ righteous thoughts and righteous actions. I refused to tell my name and calmly told the police officers, "It’s wrong for you to arrest me using violence. I was hoping to save people by distributing truth clarification materials. These materials help them learn the truth so they can tell good from evil. Only people who treat Falun Gong practitioners with kindness will have a bright future! You were not doing your job when you arrested a good person who follows Truthfulness-Compassion- Forbearance. You committed a crime. I didn’t do anything wrong, so I won’t acknowledge anything that you did to me, and I will not cooperate with you. However, it’s our predestined relationship that we meet here today. Falun Gong has been persecuted for so many years. I believe you have gained a certain understanding of Falun Gong through Dafa practitioners’ truth clarification efforts. People cannot live without justice or a conscience. If there’s anything you don’t know about [Falun Gong], I can tell you."
Some of them said, "I don’t need you to rescue me." I replied, "I can only tell you the truth. You have to save yourself." Someone pointed at the truth clarification pamphlet and said, "I don’t believe in retribution." I said, "Goodness is rewarded and evildoing will reap its own peril. This truth has always existed. There is indeed an international organization that investigates the persecution of Falun Gong. Anyone who has participated in the persecution of Falun Gong will be put on public trial. The consequences of helping the villainous gang are indeed frightening." They said, "Now, only ‘stubborn’ people like you are still practicing Falun Gong." I told them in a firm tone, "There are 100 million of us, and there are also new practitioners. Why wouldn’t we continue such a great practice that benefits us physically and mentally?"
They demanded repeatedly that I turn my bag over to them, but I firmly refused. They said there must be gold nuggets in my bag, and I said, "It’s not a small crime to persecute Falun Gong and search a Falun Gong practitioner’s things or take a practitioner's money things." They asked me my name during the interrogation, and I said, "Falun Gong. I only know that I should safeguard Dafa, clarify the truth and rescue sentient beings." They tried many times to take my picture, but I didn’t cooperate with them. They asked officials from my local street Party Committee to identify me. They called my daughter and her husband over and said to them, "She can go home if she turns her bag over to us." I immediately exposed their lies and kindly told them not to commit any more crimes. They continued to pressure my family to pressure me to give up my bag.
I remembered that Teacher said,
"My roots are all deeply planted in the universe, and if someone could affect you, he could affect me, and to put it directly, he’d be able to affect the universe." ("Falun Dafa’s Special Features" in "The First Talk" from Zhuan Falun)
So I thought, "No one can touch my bag, because he’d be touching the universe if he touches my bag." I said, "I don’t have any bag to give you, just my life."
I was very cool-headed and my heart was pure without any improper thoughts. I had strong righteous thoughts and I truly regarded the bag as more important than my life, since I had the article "The Closer to the End, The More Diligent You Should Be" truth clarification materials. I also carried a letter to a fellow practitioner, which I later destroyed in the restroom. I knew that I was protecting Dafa and protecting fellow practitioners by protecting my bag. In the end they said they would let me go home. I said, "I knew I would go home." I told them to remember Falun Dafa is good and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good. One person said, "Falun Dafa is magnificent!" He saw me smiling and said, "So, that makes you happy?" I said, "I’m happy because you’ve positioned yourself correctly within Dafa." I said to the others, "I hope you have a bright future and I wish you a happy family." The same person continued to say, "Falun Dafa," and I shouted, "Good!" I shouted while I walked all the way downstairs. I truly felt other dimensions shaking, and that the indescribable power of "Falun Dafa is good" eliminated evil and suppressed the evildoers.
The local Street Party Committee officials took me home. My husband said to me, "They still want your bag, and they’ll send you to a labor camp if you don’t give it to them." I said, "I’ll never hand in my bag. None of their words count." My husband tried to snatch my bag. He shoved me and pushed me to the ground and said, "I really want to kill you." He tried to kill me and choked me with his hands. He almost got my bag. I shouted, "Teacher, help me!" I shouted several times before my husband let go of my bag. Two of the three straps on the bag broke during the tug-of-war. The remaining strap was barely attached. Teacher again protected me.
I sat on the ground and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evils' persecution of me and to eliminate the evil elements in my husband’s dimension. My husband said he would lock me up. He left through the front door to make a phone call. I immediately walked out the back door. I only had one thought in mind, which was that I must break through the evils' arrangements for a "family prison." I must walk the path Teacher has arranged for me. I said to the back door, "I must get out, and you’ll have a bright future if you position yourself correctly." I left. My husband told me later that two of them could not open the door and couldn’t figure out how I got out.
What should I do next? Would I adversely affect fellow practitioners by delivering Teacher’s article to them? I immediately negated this odd thought forced upon me by the evil and I asked myself, "Why did you refuse to turn over your bag?" I then delivered the article to fellow practitioners in a timely fashion. I did what I was supposed to do and did away with the old forces' persecution.
I thought that I would "stay quiet" for a few days, but quickly realized that it was fear conforming to the old forces' arrangements, which I did not acknowledge. As righteous thoughts came out I eliminated the fear. I continued to live with my daughter but openly did what I was supposed to do. The evildoers didn’t stop. They spread rumors, isolated fellow practitioners, and threatened me. I completely negated their actions. I realized, though, that I should expose the evil and clarify the truth about this evil persecution in order to offer them salvation. I wrote letters to the Street Party Committee and to my husband with the intention of saving them through my determination.
First, I wrote a letter to my husband. With compassion, I wrote about the physical and mental changes that overcame me after I started practicing Falun Gong. I told him about my determination to practice Dafa, and I also reiterated how he had persecuted me, how he had interfered with my cultivation, and how he had cooperated with the evildoers to disrupt my cultivation. I reminded him how I had clarified the truth and the informed him about quitting the Communist Party. With my love for him as his wife of several decades, I wrote about how I had played my role as a wife, a mother, and a grandmother. When my husband received the letter he learned that I was staying with our daughter. He came to me and said, "I won’t mettle anymore with your things. You should come home if you want to." He didn’t tell the Street Party Committee officials of my whereabouts and no longer cooperated with them.
I wrote another letter to the neighborhood district Party Committee in which I said, "We met because of a predestined relationship." I also explained through historical stories why Falun Gong practitioners must clarify the truth. Furthermore, I exposed the bloody persecution of Falun Gong, the wickedness and evil nature of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), and that one can only remain safe by quitting the Party and its affiliated organizations. I told them about the physical and mental suffering that tormented me before I practiced Falun Gong, and the happiness Dafa has bestowed on me. I recounted in detail how my husband tried to snatch my bag, which forced me to leave home, and I reminded them not to assist the evildoers. The Party Committee officials read the letter and said to my husband, "Since you don’t know where she is, we’ll say the same thing." My persecution thus ended without further incident.
Later I met the heads of the Street Party Committee. I told them that it is very important to treat Falun Gong kindly and how people regard Falun Gong determines their future position. They must learn the truth and choose a bright future.
I visited the Street Party Committee with good wishes during the Chinese New Year. I brought them fruit and other things, including DVDs of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, the announcement by The Epoch Times and cards with the words "Falun Dafa is good." I also delivered a New Year’s greeting card in which I wrote, "New heaven, New people, New thoughts; Quit the Party; Don’t join the ‘maintain advancement;’ With a good heart and righteous thoughts, firmly remember Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance; Cherish your life and silently say ‘Dafa is good.’" At first the official didn’t want to accept it when he learned the message clarified the truth. I said, "I’m wishing your family a happy New Year. How can you not accept my gifts?" Afterwards he said, "I like your gifts."
In fact, Teacher made the gifts shine with brilliance. He said, "Do you treat your family the same way as you treat me?" I said, "Of course! I hope they also have a bright future, the same as you."
I became attached to doing things, however. I overlooked safety, and the evil took advantage of my gaps. It created tribulations and also affected fellow practitioners. Teacher said,
"For a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, personal liberation is not the goal of cultivation: when you came, saving sentient beings was your great aspiration, and that is the responsibility and mission history has bestowed upon you in Fa-rectification. Thus great numbers of beings are to be saved by you." ("Let Go of Human Attachments and Save the World’s People")
I was arrested before the first group Dafa study session. I continued to join group study to resist the evil. I persisted, even when fellow practitioners were encountering interference and no longer wanted to participate in the study. When the evildoers interfered with me and I could not get my official documents on time, I went many times and eliminated the interference. When I applied for a new ID card at the police department that was responsible for my arrest I thought, "I’m a Dafa practitioner, and I’m also a Chinese citizen. I’ll conform to ordinary people’s state and do whatever I should do. I’ll do my best to offer people salvation."
In November I noticed that the person who had reported me to the police had a large bump on his right eye. I knew he had received retribution. Soon I heard him say, "Don’t you hand out those flyers where I can see you, or I’ll…" I turned around, walked up to him and said, "So you’ll do what? Who is forbidden from walking in the street? Don’t you want to be a good person? Be a good person till the end, and you’ll benefit both yourself and your family." He looked at my bag, nodded and told me to leave.
From then on, I sent forth righteous thoughts daily to eliminate all evil elements that interfered with his learning the truth and the mind-poisoning effect of Communist Party culture so he could make up for his mistakes and choose a bright future. After sending forth righteous thoughts for a long time I never saw him again. This incident brought out my post-natal acquired notions, which was thinking 'this person is evil' because he caused my arrest. I regarded the evil persecution as a persecution of and by ordinary people and therefore lost the opportunity to save him. If all Dafa practitioners have the Fa and sentient beings in their hearts and minds and eliminate their acquired notions, their attachments, and various fears, we can break through all evil barriers and save sentient beings on a large scale.
During this period of cultivation I saw my shortcomings. I clearly knew that they were human notions but I refused to accept help from fellow practitioners. When I heard a practitioner say that other practitioners would take over what I was doing, that I would only get to deliver the Minghui Monthly, and that I could only go to such and such places, I immediately turned into an ordinary person and stopped him. I said angrily, "I know that I must be responsible for the Fa and for fellow practitioners. No one can interfere with my doing the three things." Another practitioner said, "People in my area all recognize you. Don’t go there, because you have been videotaped." Some practitioners said some other things. I clearly knew that the evildoers were spreading rumors to isolate us and to put me under duress to further persecute me. Teacher said:
"Your path is, and I think you’ve all seen this now, actually very narrow. If you deviate just a little bit you won’t measure up to the standard of a Dafa disciple. There’s only one very righteous path we can walk on, and we can’t deviate even just a little bit, because this is required by history, and required by the lives of sentient beings in the future cosmos." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")
How could I discard human notions and walk a righteous path? I looked inward. Initially I only looked on the surface, which was in fact looking at others, emphasizing other people’s attitudes. I thought other practitioners had fear and they didn’t want to be affected. They were being unfair and pushing me away. That succeeded in making my competitive mentality emerge and I nit-picked fellow practitioners’ faults. I complained about them and didn’t cultivate myself, which meant I had changed into an ordinary person. Teacher said,
"I’m going to tell you that no matter what kind of conflicts arise, or what kind of situations emerge, it’s bound to be that we have gaps in ourselves. That’s for sure. If there weren’t a gap nobody could exploit it." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")
"In true cultivation you have to cultivate your mind, you have to cultivate inward, to look inward—you can’t look outward." ("A Calm Mind," The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
The Fa teaches us as cultivators that we must look inward based on the Fa in order to truly find our omissions. I realized what it means to be truly responsible for the Fa. I carry such important things as Teacher’s articles, Dafa materials, and letters, and I overlooked safety. I tried to save time and did Dafa things with the attachment to doing things, which is being self-centered. I only paid attention to myself and didn’t think about the serious nature of cultivation, which means I was not acting like a cultivator, not to mention being responsible for the Fa. Just as Teacher said,
"It is extremely dangerous to add anything human to cultivation practice." ("Digging Out the Roots" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
"A Dafa disciple should put the Fa first in everything he does--whenever you evaluate something you have to consider the Fa first. You probably remember something I've said to you often: a Dafa disciple should consider others first in everything he does." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
I realized that when I refuse to listen to others, it’s the postnatal selfish me at work.
I discovered my self-absorption through Fa study and I eliminated attachments. I truly felt that cultivation is cultivating oneself. No matter what happens, it’s not a coincidence that I encounter, see, or hear about problems, including conflicts in society, within my family, and with fellow practitioners. As long as I truly look inward, even if I am not personally involved in a present conflict, there are still things that I should enlighten to and cultivate. I have a certain understanding about Teacher’s words,
"Take a bottle that’s filled with filth, cap it tightly, and throw it into water, and it’ll sink right down to the bottom. Then dump out that filth inside it, and the more you dump out, the more it’ll float up. And when it’s dumped all the way out it’ll float all the way up." ("Why Doing Cultivation Exercises Doesn’t Increase Gong," from "The First Talk," Zhuan Falun)
If we as cultivators allow our heads to fill with human desires, attachments, and odd thoughts, and do not eliminate various bad things of human nature through cultivation, we will remain ordinary people, and will sink all the way to the bottom. By acting according to Dafa during cultivation, and by eliminating attachments, doing the three things well, looking inward, and by doing the three things well, we will succeed. When our xinxing is up to the standard and we completely float up, we will have reached Consummation. When I realized this Fa principle I shed a human shell. I truly thank fellow practitioners for their help. The partition between practitioners was removed, and I felt fellow practitioners’ trust and a rapid improvement in my xinxing. I again experienced the joys of being a Dafa practitioner.
