(Clearwisdom.net) Lately I’ve had some experience with regards to "negating and eliminating the evil persecution of my health." I have written it out to share with others. Please point out anything that is improper.
In early 2003, I found it hard to study the book Zhuan Falun due to an attachment to my job. I became terribly absent-minded, and this state lasted for a year. Later, I was taken advantage of by the evil and suffered persecution with regard to my health, which caused my main consciousness to become confused and led me to do some bad things that damaged Dafa.
After Master talked about negating the old forces in "Teaching the Fa in Chicago 2004," I started to negate the evil. At the beginning I did not know how to negate it, but now after constant Fa-study and sharing with others, I’m able to detect the evil interference in every single thought, recognize it, negate and eliminate it.
I understand that we must study the Fa frequently, as "the Fa can destroy all evil." ("Drive Out Interference") Through Fa-study, I found that the reason I was taken advantage of by the evil was because I had acknowledged the existence of the evil in my every thought. For example, when the evil seized upon my loopholes, it would come to persecute me. When I felt my mind beginning to wander, my thought soon became, "I’m going to feel confused in a minute, and it (the evil) will come to affect me." This thought was to acknowledge the evil. I was not clear that whatever caused me to become confused was not me, but the evil, and that I should eliminate it. Later, I realized that I needed to eliminate the evil, but I did not negate it in my thoughts. Master said, "We don't even acknowledge their existence" ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference"). Just like what some fellow practitioners said in their sharing, "How come I feel so unwell?" The problem was that I acknowledged the incorrect thoughts as my own.
When this kind of persecution lasted for a long time, I developed another attachment - fear, and I also regarded the fear as myself. When I became busy with work or other things, the bad thoughts would come into my mind, "The evil will soon come. I will become confused again." I was often afraid that it would come to affect me and I acknowledged it as myself. In this way, it gained space to exist. Furthermore, I did not realize this form of persecution and my acknowledgement of it. I also did not realize that the evil’s persecution against me is a persecution against Dafa. Instead, I treated it as a persecution against myself, and based my understanding on "self" instead of the Fa. I was thus taken advantage of by the evil and gave it a reason to persecute me.
Master said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference,"
"We don't even acknowledge their existence."
"It's not that you're cultivating amidst the ordeals they created. Rather, you are to walk your own path well while not acknowledging them" ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference")
After studying Master’s teaching "Pass the Deadly Test," I understood that another attachment I had was that of fear. Master said,
"Fear can cause one to make mistakes, and fear can cause one to lose a predestined opportunity. Fear is a death trap on a human being's journey toward divinity." ("Pass the Deadly Test")
I was fearful of what others might say about me, and was worried about this and that. When I realized this attachment, I shared about it with other practitioners and they encouraged me to write about it. Exposing the evil is eliminating the evil. For example, in the past, when I could not practice the exercises due to mental confusion, I did not dare to tell fellow practitioners. One reason was that I felt embarrassed, and at the same time I was afraid that fellow practitioners might make it widely known. I did not base my thinking on being responsible to the Fa and safeguarding the Fa. Instead I tried to save face. This gave the evil an excuse to persecute me. I was taken advantage of by the evil and caused losses to the Fa. When I was attached to the fear of what my fellow practitioners might say about me, the evil used this loophole to severely persecute me in front of practitioners to the extent that I behaved abnormally due to my mind being confused. My behavior had a negative impact on Dafa and affected the salvation of sentient beings. When I realized this, I consciously eliminated the evil and such things never happened again.
I once had the experience of having righteous thoughts after reading a fellow practitioner's experience sharing article. I felt I was huge and tall and that the evil was nothing. With this thought, the evil disappeared in no time. However, this gave rise to my attachment to zealotry. When I felt pleased with myself, the evil came again. Cultivation should be in a state of non-action. The evil wants to persecute me. When I realize this, I knew I should simply negate it, rectify myself, and eliminate the evil.
While writing this sharing, I found that I acknowledged the evil again at one point. Now I realize that even if I have attachments, I should not allow the evil to persecute me. Master has taught us,
"We don't even acknowledge their existence. We're fundamentally negating all of their things, ...."
"It's not that you're cultivating amidst the ordeals they created. Rather, you are to walk your own path well while not acknowledging them" ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference")
I must rectify every single thought of mine, and fundamentally negate the evil. Master has taught us the principle that matter and mind are one thing. Only by fundamentally negating the evil in my thoughts can I completely eliminate the evil. For example, one morning I could not calm down when doing the sitting meditation. A bad thought came to my mind, "I have many things to do today, so the evil might come to persecute me." But immediately, I realized the thought was not me. I negated it and rectified my mind so that the evil had no loophole to take advantage of.
Bad thoughts appeared in my mind often. For example, when I did not have time to study the Fa, I was worried that the evil would come to persecute me. When I felt pleased, I was afraid that I might be persecuted because of my zealotry. My attachments gave excuses for the evil to persecute me. I realize that I must not acknowledge these attachments, and I must rectify my thoughts and eliminate the evil.
One day I got up very early. I felt a bit sleepy, and felt that I could not control myself. I did not negate it in time and was taken advantage of by the evil. My cousin (a non-practitioner) reminded me to send forth righteous thoughts. Later, I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the ill feeling, but I still acknowledged it, saying the reason I felt that way was because I took care of my husband who passed away due to illness. I acknowledged it and thought I should feel this way because I was tired. However, when I was able to catch the wrong thought in time, negate it and eliminate it, the evil could not affect me at all.
One day, I felt the evil was persecuting me at work. Several tens of thousands of yuan were missing from the accounts. I thought an invoice might have been missing. I sat down and started sending forth righteous thoughts. After that I found the missing invoice in no time. I realized that it was my righteous thoughts that had eliminated the evil interference, and I also felt the mighty power of the Fa from this incident. Later, I continued to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference. I realized that it was because I had acknowledged the existence of the evil that it was able to take advantage of such a loophole. In the morning of that day I had felt that the evil would come to persecute me, so I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it. But by thinking this way, I had acknowledged its interference again.
Now, I would like to make a solemn declaration: No matter what pledge or agreement I may have signed with the old forces in history, they are all void and invalid. I will walk the path Master has arranged for me. I will not allow the evil to interfere with me any more. I negate any pledge or promise I might have made to the old forces in the past.
Only by letting go of attachments and fear can we pass the deadly test.
