(Clearwisdom.net) One day at dusk, I suddenly felt terribly dizzy. (Before I started practicing Falun Gong, I used to suffer from hypertension.) I felt as though I was floating in the clouds. I searched within, but my xinxing was not very stable at the time. Hence, I couldn't get the bottom of the problem, even though I had identified a few possible loopholes. Before I went to bed, I sent forth righteous thoughts while still feeling very lightheaded. I still felt lightheaded after I lay down and I woke up feeling the same way the next day.
Nevertheless, I was calm. I knew it must be a form of interference and I must face it solemnly. I decided that I must rectify all the demonic elements in my field. After I sent forth righteous thoughts at 6:00 a.m., I practiced the sitting meditation and sent forth righteous thoughts for another 30 minutes. Because of the special circumstances, I recited the formula for sending forth righteous thoughts and sent out the following thoughts: "I am forged by the Fa. I am a most righteous being. No low-level, filthy being is allowed to come near me. I shall bring the most powerful energy into my field to completely eradicate all the demons in every field, every level and every partition. I shall completely deny the old forces' arrangements and I am determined to walk well the path of cultivation that Teacher has arranged for me."
At the time I had very strong righteous thoughts and I was very focused when I sent forth righteous thoughts. Enveloped in a powerful field of energy, I saw a long object extending from my left side resembling a blade or a sword. While I was trying to identify the object, a long, filthy rag appeared from its handle and started to wrap itself around the blade. When the rag had wrapped all the way to the tip of the blade, I saw clearly that the rag looked like gauze. I started to be suspicious. If the blade were my Fa tool, why would it be wrapped in a filthy rag? Why was the sharp blade covered with gauze? That was when the rag was suddenly pulled down back to the handle of the blade. I finally saw very clearly that this was a two-sided blade with a long knife on one side and a sword on the other. Before I realized what I ought to do with it, this Fa tool suddenly soared up and flew in a circle once in the air. One thought flashed on my mind: "Don't you touch me!" All of sudden a sharp sword dropped in front of me. I immediately grabbed the sword and swung it in my field.
After I finished sending forth righteous thoughts, I felt incredibly good and agile. I was touched again by the mighty power of the Fa. Meanwhile, I reminded myself to calm down and search within to identify the root cause of the interference. Although this experience illustrates the mighty power of righteous thoughts and proves that I was able to understand the Fa according to Teacher's requirements, I still need to identify and rectify the root cause. If I don't eliminate the worldly side of me, I might suffer from that dizziness again. I don't think Teacher will give more Fa tools to those Falun Gong practitioners who do not know that they should be diligent in their cultivation.
After I shared my vision with a family member who is also a practitioner, he reminded me to reflect upon the experience and understand its meaning. While I was studying the Fa, I thought about what happened. At first, I failed to identify a Fa implement when it appeared. It illustrated that I did not have a solid foundation of righteous thoughts and thus had doubts about the Fa from time to time. Because I did not have a steadfast faith in the Fa, I have stumbled and fallen in my cultivation repeatedly. I think Teacher was hinting to me that the filthy gauze represented the demons causing the interference. Because I was not clearheaded, I doubted the Fa implement and that was why the demons were able to cover the blade. I now realize that the battle between good and evil is like the battle between a sharp blade and filthy gauze. The evil is completely powerless before righteousness. Secondly, the experience revealed that I was selfish when it comes to the Fa-rectification. When the sharp blade soared up, I thought of my safety first. It was not until Teacher placed a Fa tool in front of me that I realized what I should do instead. It shows that I am falling behind in the Fa-rectification. I am selfish and have not come to good understandings.
Oftentimes when I sent forth righteous thoughts, I was thinking, "I must be determined to walk well the path of cultivation that Teacher has arranged for us." But as to how to walk the path well, I had only abstract concepts. It was not until I studied "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital" that I had a more tangible idea of how to walk my path well. In my humble opinion, the Fa requires us to cultivate among everyday people so that our main spirit enters godhood. A large number of practitioners will reach godhood and attain very high levels of attainment. This is completely unprecedented. With this in mind, the requirements for our cultivation practice are high. Knowing we are going to cultivate ourselves in the filthy, everyday world, Teacher has arranged the best and the most convenient method of cultivation with the highest level of requirements. Teacher said,
"As parts continue to be fully cultivated, they are continually partitioned off; the part that hasn't been fully cultivated, meanwhile, constantly undergoes cultivation until the point where nothing remains and everything has been successfully cultivated. That is the cultivation path you are to take." ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital"
In my humble opinion, the parts that are "fully cultivated" have transcended the human level. They are fully cultivated when a Falun Gong cultivator makes a fundamental change, elevates his realm, and passes tests at all levels. The parts that are not "fully cultivated" are still at the human level. Before we reach consummation, it is always our human side that is cultivating.
I didn't have sufficient understanding on this form of cultivation or on the Fa; therefore, I was very confused when I was haunted by bad thoughts in my head. I especially felt powerless and tormented when bad thoughts repeatedly popped up in my head. As a result, I formed a new attachment [of getting rid of bad thoughts.] This was exactly what made the evil happy. I didn't realize that I was following the evil's arrangements. After all, isn't cultivation about cultivating away these bad thoughts? Teacher said,
"Let me tell all of you again: when conflicts or tensions take place, there is nothing to be afraid of--just cultivate and do well." ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital")
I once gave in to the Chinese Communist Party's pressure and terror and, thus, attempted to tear up a photo of Teacher. (I didn't succeed.) When I became clearheaded again, I was often overcome with shame. To stop me from being haunted by guilt, I tried to forget what I had done. I failed to enhance my understanding from the Fa on this issue and I failed to identify the root cause. Now that I think of it, I had human notions and I feared karmic retribution. After I returned to the path of cultivation, disrespectful thoughts about Teacher and the Fa often popped up in my head. To make matters worse, I often tried to cover up such thoughts when I made a tiny degree of progress in my cultivation. Sometimes I would neglect such bad thoughts when Teacher's compassionate protection and the power of the Fa moved me to tears. As I continue to cultivate and understand my mission and responsibilities, wisdom and righteous thoughts come to my mind unexpectedly and aid me in solving my problems in cultivation. On the horizontal level, each cultivator may be representing his peers from a colossal heavenly body to descend to the human realm and assimilate to the Fa. If a cultivator should fail to cultivate himself well, he would destroy not only his life, but also all the lives in his heavenly body. On the vertical level, each sentient being we meet in our cultivation environment on earth corresponds to a heavenly body that awaits his return. If a sentient being fails to return, all the sentient beings in his corresponding heavenly body will have no future. In short, it is an incredibly important responsibility for us to save sentient beings. I believe that we will naturally have righteous thoughts once this understanding of the Fa is planted in our minds.
Our magnificent and revered Teacher is so compassionate towards those of us who were once muddle-headed. Teacher helps us abandon our psychological burdens and attachments and reinforces our confidence. As a Falun Gong practitioner in the Fa-rectification period, how can we allow ourselves to be susceptible to this interference? The evil will stop at nothing to drag us down an evil path and ruin our cultivation. It would make the demons very happy if I were troubled by their interference. This is a very serious issue. Feeling guilty does not mean I apply high standards to myself. I shouldn't feel it is better than feeling nonchalant about bad thoughts. The feeling of guilt is the demons' work. How can a divine being be disturbed by demons? Teacher told us not to lie on the ground feeling defeated when we suffer from the evil's interference and sabotage. It is sacred to rectify our mistakes to reach Consummation. It is sacred to rectify our mistakes for the sake of our eternal and magnificent future. I will continue to be diligent in my cultivation.
