(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, Honorable Master! Greetings, everyone!
It's an honor to have this precious opportunity to share my cultivation experience here today. I escaped from Mainland China in April 2005. I was captured and persecuted three times by the police while in China. After The Epoch Times published the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party in November 2004, the Chinese police kept harassing me. I quickly contacted my second daughter in the US, who helped me go there. Two days before I went to apply for the US visa, I asked one of my relatives to take my luggage by car to his home. On the second day I did not take anything with me and went directly to the train station to board the train to Beijing. I got the US visa the next day from the US consulate there. On the fourth day I arrived in the US and quickly found local Falun Gong practitioners. It's because of Master's protection that everything went so smoothly. The following is my cultivation experience report for Master and fellow practitioners.
I. The Persecution I Endured:
I obtained Falun Dafa in 1996. Before my cultivation practice, I had more than ten kinds of diseases and none of them were curable. Though I was alive, I felt as though I was near death. After I obtained the Fa, I slowly became healthy, and my xinxing level increased. I became a truthful, tolerant and kind person instead of a bad-tempered one.
After July 20, 1999, the evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began the persecution of Falun Gong. Lies were repeated on the TV to slander Falun Gong and our honorable Master.
Master said in the article "An Announcement,"
"It is definitely not wrong to explain the facts of our situation to the Chinese government in a peaceful manner. As cultivators, however, we should absolutely not adopt any over-zealous approach or speech. Over the past year, you have clarified the truth and appealed to the people of the world and governments with goodwill, and you have done this in a righteous manner." (Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I realized that I should clarify the truth. I began writing letters to CCP leader Jiang, the police department, Chinese People's Radio Station, People's Daily, Nomarch, the mayor and the police department chiefs. Because of this, the police captured me three times, and put me into the detention center for a total of more than five months. They also came to my house to confiscate my family's property. They extorted me of more than 6,000 yuan. In the detention center and the so-called "brainwashing class," I was subjected to mental and physical tortures, including forced standing in the corner, kneeling down, sleep deprivation, cold baths in winter, sleeping on the cement ground, being cursed, etc. One night they forced me to run in the dark. Because I refused to cooperate with them, the hooligans dragged me from the third floor to the first floor, then from the first floor back to the third, then they threw me onto the ground. My back was badly injured and my whole body twitched for more than an hour. No one took care of me, and I was in bed for more than three months without the ability to take care of myself. They did not let my family visit me, nor did they release me. I could not have survived without fellow practitioners' care. During detention, I went on hunger strikes three times to protest their persecution. They didn't release me until I was near death after hold a hunger strike for the last time. Afterwards, they kept monitoring me.
II. Dafa Saved My Family
My husband is also a Dafa practitioner, now living in China alone. He's over 70 years old, however the CCP will not issue him a passport, so he cannot come to the US, and I cannot go back to see him.
Why do I say Dafa saved my family? My husband used to work in the field of science and technology. From 1981 to 1983, he did new product trial manufacturing and came into contact with benzene, and was thus poisoned. His white blood cell count decreased to 3000 - 4000. Before he obtained the Fa, every few days he caught a cold and would easily get a high fever. He had to wear a sweater even during the hot summer. Each year, he had to stay in the hospital for six months, with total medical expenses reaching up to 30,000 to 40,000 yuan. Nowadays, wicked party officials commit corruption without any consideration of people's life. My husband willingly assumed the burden of work his entire life and never asked for rewards while working overtime, however after he got these occupational diseases, the wicked party officials did not support him in having a medical check-up at the epidemic prevention department. Instead, they tried every possible way to create obstacles and get in the way. Why did they behave like that? Because every year our workplace had been appraised as the outstanding safe production workplace at the provincial level, and all the officials benefited from it. That's why they'd rather have my husband spend a lot of money in an ordinary hospital than labeling his diseases as occupational diseases. However, the ordinary hospital is not qualified to evaluate the disease, nor were they able to cure it.
Because the hospital could not match the remedy to the case, my husband's health condition worsened due to being misdiagnosed. After six months of socializing, my husband finally got to the epidemic prevention department for a check-up and was diagnosed with chronic benzene intoxication. This angered the officials and they took revenge by not allowing my husband the treatment as an occupational-disease patient. They restricted my husband to seeing doctors only in certain hospitals and created obstacles for a medical reimbursement. They also said very nasty things to my husband. He was driven beyond the limits of forbearance, then without letting others know, he found two kilograms of dynamite and 20 blasting caps to put in the basement at home. He thought at that time that if anyone hurt him again, they would die together with him, thinking that after all, he was so sick and could not live any longer. This was in 1995. After he obtained the Fa in 1996, from compassionate hints from Master, my husband realized that these were criminal actions. After he raised his level from the Fa, he handed in the dynamite and blasting caps to the police station. At that time in 1996 the police said, "Falun Gong is really good and helped us avoid a homicide case."
Without Dafa practice, I cannot imagine what my family would be like. Merciful Master rescued my whole family.
III. Harmonizing Family Relations at My Daughter's Home
After arriving in the US, I stayed in my daughter's home and I said to her and my son-in-law that I would never go back to China before the evil CCP collapses. At that time they were very happy. I told them, "I will help take care of your family, however, I also want to attend all Dafa activities and clarify the truth. I hope you can support me. Because in mainland China many fellow practitioners were put into jails, some of them were persecuted to death or disability. I was fortunate to get out of China alive and came to this good environment. I need to go out to clarify the truth and appeal to the American government to condemn and stop the CCP's tyranny in order to reduce the mainland Chinese practitioners' pressure."
In order to get their support, I did all the housework. I cooked delicious dishes every day, did the laundry and cleaning, and picked up the kids. I looked within myself while encountering contradictions and tribulations.
Master says,
"As long as you upgrade your xinxing, you can overcome them. Unless you, yourself do not want to do so, you can make it, provided you want to overcome them. Therefore, from now on when you come across a conflict you should not consider it a coincidence. This is because when a conflict occurs, it will take place unexpectedly. But that is not a coincidence--it is for improving your xinxing. As long as you treat yourself as a practitioner, you can handle it properly." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Four)
When elderly people live with their children, there are many conflicts. I treated my daughter's home as my cultivation environment. Every so often, my daughter will give me a chance to raise my xinxing level. When I can really let go of my attachments, our relationship and environment will improve. After I began practicing cultivation, my three daughters all said, "When we were young, you were bad tempered, but after you started cultivation practice, you completely changed."
This year, my second daughter and second son-in-law traveled to Europe with his mother. Because their kids were still young and it was not convenient to travel with them, I told them I would take care of them when they were away. After my daughter came back, she said, "People traveling together with us said, ‘It is really unbelievable that your mother-in-law traveled together with you while your mom stayed at home taking care of your kids.'" Because of this, my daughter got into a fight with her mother-in-law. After hearing this, I laughed and said to her, "You already spent money, and then you offended your mother-in-law. If in the future your son treats you this way when he grows up and gets married, how would you feel? Money is easy to make after spending it, but it's hard to remedy hurting others' feelings. You mother-in-law is so old and had this precious chance to travel with you. As a younger generation, you should respect the elder generation. I don't mind not traveling with you, I am a Falun Gong practitioner." Later my son-in-law said to me, "Thank you so much for staying at home and doing housework. I know it must have been really difficult. Next time we will let your third daughter travel to Europe with you and we will pay for it." I said, "I am not interested in traveling, but I hope that you can support me in attending Dafa activities, then I will be satisfied." He replied, "Sure, sure!"
IV. Clarifying the Truth in China vs. in the US
Under the evil CCP's intense pressure, compared with letting go of fame, profits and emotions, fear is one of the hardest attachments to let go of. Especially when I began practicing cultivation, under a peaceful environment it's easy to say that we can let go of fear, put aside life and let go of the self, but under the red horrors of the evil CCP, where we were surrounded by evil police and Chinese people poisoned by the evil party culture, we risked being arrested at any time while clarifying the truth.
I still remember when I went to post truth clarification materials, I felt very anxious and trembled, as if many people were watching me. But I became aware of these thoughts and said to myself, "I am a cultivator, and fear is also an attachment, isn't it?"
Master said in "Huge Exposure,"
"Some people were scared. But what were you afraid of? My disciples! Didn't you hear me say that when a person succeeded in cultivating Arhatship, he stumbled because he developed fear in his heart? Every human attachment must be removed, no matter what it is. Some disciples said: "What's there to fear? My body would still sit there even with my head cut off." When you compare them it’s clear at a glance how well they cultivate." (Essentials for Further Advancement)
After continuous Fa-Study, I reduced my fear gradually.
After coming to the US, I felt so blessed that I could have this chance to come to this peaceful and relaxing environment of truth clarification, without any pressure and fear. I was very happy. I am always thinking, "Why was I able to come to the US so easily, and find fellow practitioners so easily, and so many fellow practitioners drove me to attend all kinds of truth-clarification activities, such as sending righteous thoughts in front of the Chinese Consulate, clarifying the truth in San Francisco and distributing the Nine Commentaries, and attending the Divine Land Marching Band practices. I am never left behind." I realized that it's a cultivation environment created by Master for me. I will for sure cherish this good environment in the US. Therefore, whenever I have time, I will seize the chance of truth-clarification. Here I want to thank all the fellow practitioners who helped me.
Fellow practitioners always picked me up and drove me to the council meetings in different cities. One time in Union City, I spoke at the meeting, and described the persecution I was subject to in China. I appealed to the American Government to condemn the atrocities of live organ harvesting from Falun Gong practitioners. Other fellow practitioners also spoke at the meeting. During the break, the mayor and the deputy mayor came over to shake hands with us and talked to me peacefully. They said, "We listened to your speech carefully and were moved. We are going to write to the White House for you."
One time I went to Fremont with fellow practitioners to clarify the truth to senators. After they heard the persecution I suffered in China, they were moved to tears and said on the spot that they would report my requests to the US Government.
Another time, I went to an unknown city, and in the council meeting fellow practitioners and I spoke. In the middle of the meeting, the mayor came down and asked the English-speaking practitioners to write letters so that he could sign them and mail them to wherever we wanted. Under this peaceful and free environment of clarifying the truth and practicing cultivation in the US, compared with China, I felt the two were totally different worlds, as heaven and earth.
V. Cultivating in the Divine Land Marching Band
Regarding playing musical instruments, I never thought about it before. Because first, I had no music background at all. Second, I had never touched or even seen western musical instruments, and third, I am over 60 years old. Therefore, when the others signed me up for the band, I was worried. I didn't have any background and feared I would affect the whole body if I could not play well. Additionally, in the US we can do nothing without cars, and my daughter and son-in-law were not yet practicing cultivation and I feared that they would not support me. However, when I saw the dignified mighty and magnificent scene of the New York Marching Band during the parade, I admired them, hoping I could be among them if I were younger.
I went to attend the first music lessons with inner conflicts. The instructor asked many students to try to play flutes, so I went to try it out, and made sounds right away. I was so excited. A practitioner encouraged me to join the marching band. A practitioner near my home said she would drive me to practice the instruments every day. So the issue of transportation was solved, and I became more confident. When I went home I discussed this with my daughter and son-in-law. I said, "I also signed up for instrument practice, but it will not affect my housework during the day. I would be really happy if I could play an instrument in the band, otherwise I would get really bored alone at home. If you agree, I will try it for a while, as I'm still not sure if I can learn it or not." At that time my kids said, "You can give it a try."
In the first two weeks I felt it was really hard to play. Fellow practitioners said the baritone horns were easy to play, and I started to play the baritone horn. When I started to play it, sometimes I could not make any sound, nor could I play the notes accurately. Three times I considered quitting the band and my inner conflicts were very strong. At that time, I also kept studying the Fa. Master said,
"When it’s impossible to do, you can do it." ... "When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible. If you can actually do it, you will indeed find: "After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!" (Zhuan Falun, Lecture 9)
I then realized that the Divine Land Marching Band was not for ordinary people's amusement, nor was it for Dafa Disciples' entertainment, rather it is a serious process of cultivation practice. I should rectify myself in this special environment and let go of attachments. I was determined in my heart and decided to cultivate to the end. Right at that time Master came to our band. Upon seeing Master, I said to Master that I could play high pitch, but could not play low pitch, moreover, I did not know how to do the purging. Master said to me tenderly and kindly that, "This is not a big problem, you will do it well gradually." Master's words encouraged me. At that time, I firmly decided that I would follow Master to rectify the Fa in the Marching Band.
I am not familiar with the music notes. The slow birds fly early. In order to play the music well, I first memorized the notes. Then I started to recite the notes. I recited the notes while cooking, delivering and picking up the kids, before sleeping and after getting up. After I became familiar with the music book, I used every minute to practice. Right now, of all the music required, I can recite and basically play them all. Of course, without Master's strengthening, it would be impossible for me to reach this level.
During the parades, sometimes I feel very tired while holding such a heavy musical instrument. Sometimes the route is very long and my whole body becomes sore. I will then recall Master's words, "When it’s impossible to do, you can do it." (Zhuan Falun) I am a Dafa disciple, and our parade is to save sentient beings, so I ask, "Master please strengthen me," then I can persist to the end of the parade easily.
The Marching Band is also a cultivation environment and I let go of many attachments there. During the first parade, one practitioner said, "Stand over here, don't stand at the outside line of the formation." I asked why, and she said, "Others can walk better than you." At that time, I could not accept it and felt I lost face in front of others.
Master says in "Lecture at the First Conference in North America,"
"No matter what trouble you encounter, no matter what makes you feel unpleasant inside, and no matter whether on the surface you’re right or wrong, if you are to truly regard yourself as a cultivator you should always examineyourself for causes. Ask yourself whether you have a wrong, hard-to-detect motive that’s related to the problem. If you, as a cultivator, only part with things superficially while deep down inside you still stick to something or cling to your own vital interests that you don’t allow to be undermined, I’d say to you that your cultivation is fake! If your own thinking doesn’t change, you cannot advance even one step and are deceiving yourself. Only when you truly improve from within can you make real progress."
After Fa-study and genuinely following Master's words, my environment immediately became better and harmonized. I truly thank Master.
The above is my experience in cultivation practice. Please advise me if anything is inappropriate.
Thank you Honorable Master,
Thank you everyone.
