(Clearwisdom.net) I would like to share my personal experience with fellow practitioners about how to cultivate away the attachment to being moved by criticism. Master addressed this attachment in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles" on February 25, 2006.
I realized this attachment was serious and would undermine my genuine discipleship with Master. I know I am a Dafa disciple and can let go of any attachment. I was determined to get rid of my inability to accept others' criticisms. I studied the above lecture one night and had a xinxing test the very next morning. I was at my mother's place, and for no reason a family member yelled at me and got very angry with me. I was initially quite calm, but after a while I got more and more angry. I eventually lost control and forgot the message in Master's lecture. I quarreled with my family member.
I calmed down afterward and remembered Master's lecture. I knew there is nothing accidental on our cultivation path. I realized Master has precisely arranged every one of my cultivation steps and has a high requirement for me. Master gave me a test right after teaching this Fa, to see if I could pass it. However, I failed the test. I regretted it from the bottom of my heart. I made up my mind to do well next time.
Right after that, one of my nieces contradicted me openly in front of other family members. This would never happen in the past. Although I felt surprised, I didn't say anything. However, she continued and said something bad. I still didn't say anything. One of my family members urged me to say something, as the niece was impolite to me, and he would not tolerate that if he were me.
I was very clear in my mind that Master arranged another opportunity for me to improve my xinxing and I must do well this time. I kept memorizing Master's lecture and I felt very calm inside. I also thought about validating Dafa to my family members and showing them that as a practitioner, I do not fight with ordinary people and I'm tolerant.
The niece kept contradicting me for more than ten days. I passed the xinxing test very well and didn't argue with her. Seeing this, my family members all commented that I had changed a lot. They know it's because I practice Falun Gong and they support me to continue practicing. After that, my niece treated me very nicely just like she had before. I thought I passed the xinxing test well this time.
But soon after that, my husband, who is also a practitioner, started criticizing me every day. He seldom criticized me in the past. I was very clear that another test was coming to me. My attachment of not letting others criticize me was still quite strong and I needed to continue to improve my xinxing. I tried to explain things calmly to him at the beginning. He told me not to explain anything and said that I just wouldn't let other criticize me. Then I stopped explaining. He then asked why I didn't say anything and said that I nevertheless wouldn't let other criticize me. I felt very sad and reminded myself of improving my xinxing. This lasted for more than two months.
When the xinxing test comes, it doesn't count if it doesn't irritate one's heart. Finally, one day I lost control of my temper and fought back when my husband was criticizing me. I could remember Master's Fa when losing control this time, however, I still got angry, although I could control myself to a certain extent. I thought it over after that and realized that even though I know I have to get rid of the attachment of not letting others criticize, there is an element of ordinary people's endurance. That was not a cultivator's pure mindset and that's why I did not do well again.
Master has made this issue very clear in the Fa. Why was I not able to do well? Did I treat myself as a genuine cultivator? Dafa practitioners will achieve the status of great enlightened beings in the cosmos. My behavior was so far from that of an enlightened being. Why would I not allow others to criticize me? Do I want to keep these bad substances with me?
I suddenly realized very clearly that all the bad elements and all kinds of problems are not me. When others point out my actions that do not comply with Dafa, those are bad substances attached to me which I did not discover. Fellow practitioners saw them and pointed them out for me to get rid of them. What a wonderful thing it is! Aren't they helping me cultivate? Why would I not let them do so? Do I really want to keep those bad substances from being removed? Wasn't I treating these bad substances as myself? When thinking of this, I suddenly understood everything. Later on, whenever someone criticizes me, I take their advice very well. Because they are not criticizing me, they are criticizing those bad substances in me. I hope others criticize me - the more the better - as the more they criticize the more I can get rid of those bad substances, and the faster I can purify myself and assimilate into the Fa. What a wonderful thing it is!
Right now, I feel it is not difficult to get rid of the attachment of not letting others criticize. Because all these human attachments are not me, I don't need to protect them. I just need to face them bravely. Only then can I face others' criticism calmly, have peace of mind and a calm heart.
May 21, 2007