(Clearwisdom.net) For a long period of time I felt sleepy, could not concentrate while studying the Fa, and let my thoughts drift while doing the exercises. Sometimes when reading the Fa, my mind would slip away; when sending forth righteous thoughts, I would fall asleep. I have been doing the three things, but none of them well. My mind often felt lethargic, as if I had a shell on the back of my head.
Master Li did not give up on me, and arranged for me to come across a fellow practitioner Lian, who had formed a Fa study group with me and cared a lot about my cultivation. After getting to know my situation, she said, "Don't worry. I know a fellow practitioner who can help you. Let's have her join our Fa study. She can help you."
Before long fellow practitioner Ping came and joined our group study. Soon I did not feel so sleepy while studying the Fa. During an experience sharing, I said, "You two are always speaking according to the Fa, but I cannot even remember the words from the Fa." Ms. Ping said, "You will remember it." Before I replied, Ms. Ping continued to say, "Don't talk about those negative things. They are not as severe as you think. But when you say it out loud, you have added energy to them and made them expand their influence. As soon as they come, you should send forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate and eliminate them. Teacher has told us to study the Fa more. You should hold righteous thoughts. We Dafa disciples' abilities are unlimited." I thought to myself, "If I don't talk about my situation, how can you help me?" But since Ms. Ping did not want me to talk about it, I did not.
The next day, my husband and I studied the Fa together and soon I got sleepy again. Then I tried using my finger to point to each character in the book and I walked while reading. I was still unsuccessful, and I knew that was not right. In addition to my inability to benefit from the reading, it was disrespectful to Teacher and the Fa. So I went to sleep, but after I woke up and continued to read the Fa, I felt sleepy again. I was very frustrated.
The day when we had a group Fa study, Ms. Ping noticed that my tone while reading the Fa seemed to flutter very much. She told me, "You should put your heart into it while reading the Fa and keep a respectful attitude. You can read it more slowly and must get the surface meaning. Send forth righteous thoughts in case of interference." I replied, "I would get sleepy when I send forth righteous thoughts." She said, "You can appeal to Teacher for help. What can we achieve without Teacher's help? Remember that all is achieved by Teacher."
On another day, I was studying the Fa with my husband. Once I picked up the book, I felt sleepy. I tried standing up, walking around, and kneeling down while reading the book, and none of these methods worked. When I sent forth righteous thoughts, I started to feel dizzy and uncomfortable all over my body. I felt sad and said to myself, "The Fa is magnificent, but the evil does not want me to study it. Isn't the evil pulling me down, degrading my cultivation level and thus destroying me?" I suddenly recalled Ms. Ping's words about asking Teacher for help. So I shouted, "Teacher please save me. I must study the Fa! I must study the Fa! I must disintegrate and eliminate the evil." Right after I said these words, my mind suddenly became clear. The shell that I had felt on the back of my head suddenly disappeared. My body felt light, and I truly had the feeling of clear heavens and a transparent cosmic body. I thanked Teacher in my heart again and again. Teacher had saved me once again.
The next day, after the group Fa study, Ms. Ping happily commended me on my firm voice. When I looked back at how I read my sections, I suddenly felt that I truly get the Fa! I was truly studying the Fa.
Once again I thank benevolent Teacher for his salvation. I also want to thank the two fellow practitioners who have helped me whole-heartedly. From now on, I will seize the priceless opportunity to study the Fa with my true self, do the three things, advance diligently, and return home with Teacher after achieving Consummation.