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Dafa Enabled Me to Finally Resolve a Painful Conflict

Feb. 19, 2008 |   By a Dafa disciple from Shandong Province

(Clearwisdom.net)

When I was younger, my husband worked away from home and came back once a year. My mother-in-law did not let my husband reunite with me, but had him stay with her. At that time, my child was young and I was very busy at work, but my mother-in-law did not want to help me take care of my child. For all sorts of reasons my mother-in-law and I accumulated many reasons not to get along. I did not want to greet her or even look at her. I hated her from the bottom of my heart.

I started to practice Falun Dafa in April 1999. I enlightened to the fact that the tense relationship between my mother-in-law and me was, in fact, a result of what happened between the two of us in our previous lives. I knew I should lay down this attachment and treat my mother-in-law with kindness, but I couldn't. In recent several years, my over-80-year-old mother-in-law came to my home and lived with us for several months. When she came, I was not in a good mood. The mood of the whole family was affected because the relationship between my mother-in-law and me was not good.

Master told us in Zhuan Falun:

"In cultivation, when you're really having trouble with somebody, or when other people treat you badly, it could be one of two scenarios. One is that you might have mistreated them in your previous life. You feel wronged, 'Why are they treating me like that?' Well, why did you treat them like that before? You say, 'I don't know anything about back then. This lifetime has nothing to do with that lifetime.' But it doesn't work like that. There's another scenario. When you're clashing with somebody, there's the issue of transforming karma involved, so when we're handling each of them we should be very forgiving, and we shouldn't act like ordinary people."

Master also said, "You're a practitioner. Shouldn't you follow a higher standard? You shouldn't go by the criteria that ordinary people go by." ( Zhuan Falun)

I was clear about the principles, but I could not do it. We had refused to compromise, from one year to the next. I was also very pained. This persisted until I listened to Master's "Fa-Teaching Given to the Australian Falun Dafa Practitioners." My tears flowed: Master was talking to me. All through my cultivation, my indignant and jealous attachments were still so strong. How could this be good?! I must give it up and walk the road Master has arranged for me.

Once I made the decision, I was gentle when interacting with my mother-in-law. Starting small, I changed my attitude toward my mother-in-law. I knew she had not washed her hair for a month, so I kindly said to her, "Mom, may I help you wash your hair." I prepared warm water and asked her to sit on the balcony. This was the first time I had washed her hair for her for many years. As I washed her hair, I smiled, which my husband saw. My delight was heartfelt. I said to my husband, "In fact, Master asked me to treat my mother-in-law kindly a long time ago. It was I who did not do well. From now on, I must listen to Master's words. If you want to thank someone, you should just thank my Master!"

One evening, when my younger sister-in-law visited my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law was pleased to tell her that I had washed her hair. This made my sister-in-law very happy. From then on, the dark clouds that had surrounded our family for so long dissipated. My indignant attachments were gone without a trace. Before when I mentioned Dafa in front of my husband, he became angry. Thereafter, he was not angry. Seeing these changes, I felt very guilty. My enlightenment was very poor. Only until now could I raise up.

Facing all living things, there are so many people who have not been saved. I must cultivate diligently, save more people, and consummate to go home with Master.