(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Gong in March 1998. Before beginning on my cultivation path I had at least ten different ailments, including heart disease and uterine fibroids. I could not work regularly, and felt that my life was worse than death. I was on daily medications, which created hardship for my family, especially as I could not claim medical expenses. My husband had a short temper because of me. I saw many doctors without success. Besides, I practiced several types of qigong unsuccessfully. But one month after I studied Falun Dafa, I was no longer ill. At the time I only read "Zhuan Falun." I could not practice the exercises due to my physical condition. I was very excited and my gratefulness to Teacher was beyond words. My family members felt positive towards the practice. They said Falun Dafa was wonderful.
Being Persecuted due to Attachment to Time and Consummation
The cultivation environment in China changed in 1999 when the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) started persecuting Falun Gong. At that time, Mainland China's environment was very evil, including within practitioners' homes. My husband changed from being positive to being against the practice. Although he knew that practicing Falun Dafa cured my illnesses, he forbade me to continue with the practice. They were in fear, remembering previous political campaigns. The CCP has always used its power to persecute people.
After July 20th, 1999 my husband stopped me from practicing the exercises. I was at an impasse and did not know what to do. After watching the DVD about the "self-immolation," I studied the Fa diligently, and thought about my responsibility towards Falun Dafa. I decided to clarify the truth about Falun Gong to people.
In the beginning my truth clarification went smoothly. One day in March 2001, I wanted to go out for truth clarification. The previous night I dreamed that a big apple I was about to pick turned rotten. In the morning, I told my daughter, also a practitioner, about my dream. She suggested that I change the truth clarifying location today, or not go out today. I decided to go ahead anyway because sentient beings needed to be saved before it was too late. I was worried about not being able to reach consummation. Alas, when handing out truth clarification materials in the second village, local police arrested me. They were waiting for me. I was taken to Shandong Women's Forced Labor Camp. I had lost my freedom. The guards there were wicked. They tortured practitioners cruelly with electric batons, sleep deprivation, hard labor, and so on. There also were collaborators that tried to deceive or confuse practitioners. I did not want to stay in that evil environment and therefore wrote the "three guarantees," which I invalidated after returning home. After 3 months, my work unit paid a 4,000 yuan fine and I returned home. My work unit deducted the amount from my wages, taking 500 yuan monthly.
Back home, my husband demanded that I promise in writing not to do the exercises. I refused, so he beat me. I realized that I was afraid of being beaten, so I tried to clarify the truth to him, but he would not listen. My daughter tried to stop him, so he beat her too. She could not go to school after the beating. After being beaten, I held the wrong thought in my mind. I thought, "Let him get over his temper, and he will stop his beatings." I did not realize that evil factors that were persecuting practitioners were holding him in thrall. I thought it was simply a person-to-person persecution. I began to hate my husband. My husband beat me three times during that year. I was afraid of reporting him to his work unit. He beat me cruelly the third time. I was badly injured and could not go to work.
After I read Teacher's article "Beyond the Limits of Forbearance," I realized that I had to ask his work unit to stop him from beating me and disintegrate the evil factors that were controlling him in other dimensions. At the same time, fellow practitioners helped me in this hour of need and encouraged me to expose what he had done. I went to see his boss, with my face and my body injured, which helped me let go the attachment to vanity. I asked the people at my husband's workplace to stop him from abusing me, and clarified the truth at the same time. I told them that practicing Falun Dafa miraculously cured all my illnesses. They already knew about my past health history and all the medicines I used to take. His boss took this matter very seriously and organized a group of people to stop my husband. On the surface he became better. But he still stopped me from doing the exercises. He even reported me to the 610 office and his work unit. This time his work unit warned him that if he ever beat me again, he would be fired.
I realized this was the awakening of the Chinese people. Yes, it was not at all good that the old forces controlled my husband. Yet, this was indeed an excellent opportunity to clarify the truth about the goodness of Falun Gong to people. If this had not happened, how would I have had the opportunity to clarify the truth to people at my husband's and my work place? Almost 100 percent of the management have withdrawn from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. To date, more than 500 people in my work place have withdrawn from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. In fact, if one lets go of preconceived notions, one realizes that all sentient beings are really waiting for you to help them withdraw.
Facing Family Tribulations Require Patience and Compassion
With the twinkling of an eye it was July 2002. The CCP uses its usual political methods to incite practitioners' relatives to hate practitioners. My husband asked for a divorce because he wanted to be promoted. My mother-in-law also was for a divorce. He gave me two choices -- Dafa, or divorce. He closed his ears to whatever I had to say. I was afraid that people would make irresponsible remarks and cause harm to Dafa. The more you fear, the more the old forces will take advantages of your loopholes. The court sent me divorce documents many times. Also, at that time, my mother-in-law was hospitalized. I went to visit her, but she was not willing to see me. After she returned home, I brought her meals, but she pushed me out the door, which was witnessed by her neighbors. During this period, my daughter and I pretended to forbear, but in reality, we hated them and hoped they would receive retribution. Once we read Teacher's overseas Fa lectures; we slowly became more compassionate. We thought of how they felt and realized that it was difficult to be a practitioner's relative.
In fact, during the CCP's vicious persecution of practitioners, Mainland China practitioners' families are under enormous pressure. They all know that Falun Dafa is good. But, they also know about the evil the CCP perpetrated during previous political campaigns. They are afraid that they will suffer from persecution, so they want to stop practitioners from cultivating. Though, this is not the only reason, as there are also evil factors in other dimensions. I began to understand my husband, and let go of my emotions for him. When the court summoned me to appear for divorce proceedings a third time, I said to my husband, "All these years were not easy for you. Everyone has his or her own belief. You believe in the CCP and I believe in Falun Gong." He did not answer then, but he told me later that he did not believe in the CCP. I continued, "If you insist on divorcing me, I won't stop you." This time he changed his mind and no longer asked for a divorce. During the time when he beat me, a male boss was particularly concerned for and interested in me. I still held human emotions and I almost destroyed that person and ruined my own life. Ultimately, I chose to follow the path that Teacher arranged for me and did not walk the destructive road arranged by the old forces.
Now, when I remember the pain of giving up human emotions, it no longer seems of importance and I feel the situation was ridiculous. It was nothing more than attachments to sentimentality. When you really let go, the other person changes and behaves as if nothing had happened. I really experienced the wonderful feeling of letting go of attachments. I hope all practitioners who had similar experiences eliminate the attachment to lust. Believe me -- speaking from experience -- one can let it go!
Then, my mother-in-law was paralyzed and bedridden. I forgave all the transgressions I had to suffer, just as Master asked of us. I treated my mother and husband with a compassionate heart. If my husband and his mother did not listen, I stopped talking and treated them well. I helped my mother-in-law with her everyday needs. The other daughter-in-law, who she thought to be better, disappeared when she needed her most. Regardless of other people's attitude, I behaved according to a practitioners' standard. When my husband complained about his brother's family, I remained silent. I used my actions to melt their hearts.
My mother-in-law told her visitors that "Falun Gong practitioners have good hearts! My other daughter-in-law, not a practitioner, was very nice. But, when I was in need she did not help me." In fact, I did what I should be doing. My mother-in-law thus helped me clarify the truth to people! One day, she held my hands, cried and said, "I am sorry for not treating you well all those years. Please do not hate me. I told my son to beat you because I was afraid that you would leave the family. From your behavior, I can tell that Falun Gong is really good."
My mother-in-law told her younger son, a police officer, that he could arrest anyone but practitioners. When she was in pain, she recited "Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance are good!" This reduced her pain a lot. When she passed away, her face looked peaceful, as if she were sleeping. A few days before she passed away, she asked my daughter to bring her bankbook. She told her not to tell anyone, including my husband. After her funeral, in the presence of all relatives, I took out the bank-book. Once again I used my action to clarify the truth. Everyone, especially my brother-in-law's family were moved. My brother-in-law said that practitioners are honest people. He would no longer arrest any practitioners. His side of the family also withdrew from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Since then, my husband no longer objects to my doing the exercises.
Where There Is no Fear, There Is no Trouble
After returning home from the forced labor camp, I did not regain my freedom. The local police and staff from my work unit, with the excuse of so-called "concern" for me, made harassing phone calls during sensitive days or holidays. The police also came to see me at work. Several practitioners thought that we should cooperate with them to avoid trouble. Then, after a while I realized that this was wrong. The more you are afraid of them, the more they will bother you. One day before the 2003 New Year's Day, the local police and staff from the district 610 Office and related departments called me in for discussion at my work. I opened the door and saw people I had not met before. I decided that I would not cooperate. I had to let go of my fear and close this loophole.
First, they spoke quite harshly and addressed "superficial reasons." I kept quiet and realized that I no longer was fearful. I felt that Master was beside me. I did not know yet about sending righteous thoughts. I just looked at them in an upright manner. When they said that the CCP authorities use "humanized methods to reeducate" practitioners, I interrupted them. I talked about the so-called self-immolation, how I benefited from practicing Falun Dafa and about my experience in the forced labor camp, including the torture I suffered. I dispelled the illusion of the so-called "humane" education. The CCP's unreasonable suppression caused my family much pain and economic loss. Finally, they became friendlier. They asked that I sign the "guarantee" letter they prepared and I refused. Then they said that I didn't need to sign, they would accept my verbal statement. I told them, "Do not waste my time. I will not betray my Teacher. When I signed such a document in the forced labor camp, I did not mean it. I will not do that again."
They finally conceded and said, "We give up! It appears that you won't change your mind. You can practice at home." I responded, "It is fine to let me practice at home. If you wish to persecute me you can find me in Beijing." They assured that they would no longer trouble me. This was the last time they bothered me and other practitioners at my workplace. They still monitor us quietly because the evil factors have not been completely eliminated. That night Master encouraged me in my dream. In the dream, I saved several poets, painters when they were drowning in a large golden pond. After they were safely ashore, they told me how grateful they were for saving their lives.
Cultivating in Falun Dafa is truly wonderful! Yes, I have done what a practitioner is supposed to do, but it is far from what Teacher requires of us and also far from what other diligent practitioners have done.
Because of my low literacy level, it took me several years to write this article. Please kindly point out anything that does not comply with the Fa.