(Clearwisdom.net) Several days ago a practitioner said to me, "I think you are very rational but there seems to be something missing. I think you have very strong human sentimentality." Seeing I didn't comprehend his statement, he continued, "For example, when practitioners or others face difficulties or need help, you are always the one who tries to help them. However, it seems to me you do it out of human sentimentality."
I gave his comment a great deal of thought. The first thing that came to my mind was that Teacher had said, "The next person's things are your things, and your things are his things." ("Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. Fa Conference") I usually treat practitioners' problems as my own and I treat everyone else with tolerance, understanding, and kindness. This is compassion, isn't it? Then why did that practitioner think that I acted out of human sentimentality? Immediately, I thought of Teacher's words: "Without 'nothing,' it is a human feeling. If it is a human feeling, then it's not bei (compassion)." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference") I suddenly realized that maybe what I had thought to be compassion was actually human sentiment.
I started to think back and found many attachments and sentimental elements. For example, I like to watch TV series and am quite easily moved by them. Why do I like to watch? Why am I easily moved by those TV shows? I think it is the human sentiment inside that makes me pity the characters on the TV show simply because they have a "hard life." But those feelings are not considered compassion.
This issue appears when my self-interests are at stake. For example, when I am clarifying the truth, if the person accepts what I say, I am extremely happy. But if the person doesn't accept what I say or contradicts me using Party culture and logic, I am silent and think to myself, "This person is hopeless." Teacher's Fa has taught us that a practitioner with true compassion would feel sad if he couldn't save a person. If I had true compassion toward others, would I really care about my own gain or loss during this critical time of saving people?
It is my understanding that compassion is not human sentiment. A person with human attachments and sentiments cannot have true compassion. The projects that I am involved with help me see a lot of my attachments such as the mentality of showing off, the attachment of zealotry and anxiety, the competitive mentality, jealousy, arrogance when I achieve something, the fear of being misunderstood when discussing issues with practitioners, etc. With so many such human attachments, how could I have true compassion?
Sometimes I seem to be kind, but it is actually mixed with attachments. For example, whenever I spoke kindly so that others would follow my advice or to avoid hurting myself, I felt as if I was wrapped in a thin film of sentiment that I couldn't break through. In spite of having many attachments, I am at least glad to be able to pinpoint them. My understanding based on the Fa is clearer now, and I believe that I will overcome these attachments eventually.
I hope that my written experiences will be helpful to practitioners who face similar problems.
