(Clearwisdom.net) Not too long ago, a practitioner (A) at our truth clarification materials production site began to behave in an unusual manner. He was so busy making materials that he neglected to eat or sleep. At first we admired him for his dedication to save sentient beings. After a while, we sensed that something was not right. As soon as he had some time, he made copies of CDs, labeled the envelopes, and inserted them into the envelopes. He did this nonstop. He would mumble, "There is not much time left, not much time left," and listened to Teacher's lectures while making the CDs.
Sometimes I intentionally took over his tasks so that he could study the Fa. But as soon as I did, he began to do other things. I said to him, "No matter how busy you are, you should find time to study the Fa. Besides, can you really study the Fa well while making CDs?" He replied, "At any rate, other living elements in my body are listening to the Fa." At the time, I thought he made sense.
For many days, Practitioner A continued to make truth clarification materials and did not seriously study the Fa. When we suggested that he study the Fa, he did not listen and showed strong resistance. Furthermore, he turned around and blamed us for not helping him with the CDs. We showed him good sharing articles regarding Fa study from the Minghui website, but he would not read them, saying he did not have time.
Finally, we showed him Teacher's lectures regarding Fa study. The articles affected him, and he began to study the Fa. But every time he read "whoever practices cultivation will attain gong" he got sleepy and could not continue. We immediately realized this was a serious problem. If we could not help him recognize the loophole, then the old forces might take advantage of the situation and persecute him. Moreover, this could affect the practitioners around him. At the time, I forgot to send righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil elements around Practitioner A; I just quietly said to the living beings that were surrounding him, "No matter what kind of life you are, Dafa is given to the main consciousness to cultivate. Please do not interfere with his main consciousness. After he finishes cultivating, you will have a good place to go. If your interference causes him damage, I'm not sure what kind of future you will have."
To our surprise, several days later when we urged him to study the Fa, he became agitated and blamed us for interfering with his Fa study and truth clarification duties. We were very puzzled and wondered why he did not understand our good intentions. Teacher said this in the lecture "Touring North America to Teach the Fa, March 2002":
"You all want to be responsible to Dafa, and your intentions are good. But often you don't mind yourselves, and it's very possible you have some ordinary human attachments."
Teacher often reminds us to look inward whenever we encounter problems.
When I calmed down and looked inward, I noticed that in the process, I was sometimes irritated and my heart was moved, and at other times I felt I was wronged and thought, "How could Practitioner A treat me like this when my intentions were good." I understood that if I did not have any human notions and truly had good intentions toward Practitioner A, even if he did not realize it then, he would not be so irritated with me. I also wondered whether there was any other attachment we did not notice. I discovered that "feeling wronged" was a result of not letting go of the "self" and the notion of "if I had good intentions toward you, then you should treat me well." A true practitioner should not be moved. If everything we did was based on the Fa, then the power of the Fa will manifest.
When I urged Practitioner A again to take Fa study seriously, he replied abruptly, "I know what you all think. You think that I'm not cultivating as well, that I'm not as enlightened, and do not have as much virtue as you all." (At the time I did not think I had those thoughts, but when I calmly looked inward, I noticed I did think of myself as being "higher" than Practitioner A.) After listening to his words, I guessed that he recognized where he was lacking. I felt happy and said to him, "I really don't think I have those thoughts. If I do, then I will rid myself of them. Dafa can harmonize everything. It's whether my understanding is based on the Fa or not. It's not about you being good or bad, high or low." A few days ago, I read on the Minghui website that a well-know practitioner was illegally arrested. I was very surprised initially. After I read the experience sharing articles from practitioners around her on "Minghui Weekly," I understood deeply that her illegal arrest was caused by many of the practitioners' human attachments.
After listening to what I said, Practitioner A became quiet and continued to make CDs. And I kept searching for any attachments we had failed to recognize. Suddenly, a thought came through - a practitioner pointed out in his Minghui Weekly sharing article that many practitioners' human attachments pushed a pile of undesirable matters in another dimension onto the practitioner who was well-known. So, did our group have any undetected thoughts that caused Practitioner A to behave in certain way?
I remembered suddenly that, before I moved to this area, I had always hoped that Practitioner A could make more truth clarification materials so that I could take more with me. If other practitioners had similar thoughts and did not consider Practitioner A's actual situation and whether he had the time to do the three things well and accommodate our needs, then our thoughts could have actually caused him to be busy making truth clarification material and not have the time to study the Fa. Some practitioners even asked for a certain amount of truth clarification materials for their next pick-up and Practitioner A always agreed to it. Furthermore, if practitioners' thoughts of admiration for Practitioner A contained too many human attachments, then this probably made him reluctant to change the way he did things. I felt really bad about it, since we all thought that it was Practitioner A who did not have a good enough understanding. How could we solve the problem with this kind of mentality?
When I shared my understanding with Practitioner A and another concerned practitioner that was living with me, I felt that something surrounding me was suddenly pushed away. And whatever we said to Practitioner A afterwards was not too hard for him to accept. Of course, since Practitioner A exhibited the problem, there must be factors stemming from him, but that is not the main issue we are discussing here. Here, I'd like to remind fellow practitioners who are busy making truth clarification material to study the Fa no matter how busy you are, and to remind some practitioners of your attitude in regards to Fa study: Do not let the old forces take advantage of the loophole. At present, Practitioner A is able to concentrate on studying the Fa on a daily basis.
Through this incident, I realized that it is quite hard to change oneself. However, because we cultivate in Dafa, we can look inward whenever we encounter problems and measure all our thoughts, words, and actions against the Fa. If we can truly and seriously be responsible to the Fa and to ourselves, then nothing should be that hard. I remember several years ago, when faced with the evil forces, practitioners always said that we are all "a particle" of Dafa. Only when we get rid of the "self" and melt together as one body we can manifest the mighty power of Dafa. Like sawdust melting into molten iron, any devious element can be made upright and the evil elements that cannot be saved will disintegrate immediately, causing tremendous changes through to the surface dimension.
The above are my limited understandings from cultivating in the boundless Dafa. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.