(Clearwisdom.net) Teacher said,
"...it is very difficult to eradicate the acquired ideas because this is just the cultivation." ("Buddha Nature" from Volume II of Zhuan Falun) (Draft Translation subject to further improvement)
It is particularly difficult for the people in China to see through their acquired ideas, since they have been brainwashed day in and day out. They are the ones that have being poisoned the most. Therefore, it is very important for practitioners there to clean up their acquired ideas and notions. The warped notions are derived from the poisonous root of selfishness. The process of cleaning is actually the process of changing the root of our thoughts and purifying our original nature.
I enlightened during my practice that I must thoroughly understand "atheism" and eradicate it. I must understand where I came from and where I am heading, as well as why I am cultivating. We should find our true selves by understanding that we were created by divine beings, and our original nature is to encompass Dafa. We must recognize acquired ideas and their manifestations so as to fundamentally change our acquired world outlook, our outlook on life and values. We should clearly understand the inner meaning of being a practitioner as well as every thought and notion. Our words and deeds should be measured by Dafa instead of by human notions. We must understand that it is the divine beings who are validating the Fa, therefore it is dangerous for us to do things based on human notions. We should change, from deep within our heart of hearts, our image and role of being persecuted, and truly treat ourselves as divine beings. Only by doing so can we truly fulfill our historical mission of "saving the sentient beings." Another point I would like to make is that we should put the Fa first in everything we do. We should base ourselves on the Fa and Teacher's Fa-rectification. Whatever we do, we should begin by putting the overall situation into perspective. Whatever we do, we must consider from the angle of practitioners as a whole, and consider the angle of saving the sentient beings and thinking from their perspective. We should also let go of the attachment to ourselves, such as "my understanding," "my improvements," "what I want to do," and "what I plan to do," since every individual is only a particle of Dafa and must melt into the Fa.
In actual life I found that "Party culture" is the thing that is the hardest to eliminate. What I did was read the "Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party," "Analysis on Party Culture" and some other materials. Then I separated the "Party culture" from traditional Chinese culture. I also focused on eliminating "Party culture" from my thinking and actions in order to cut off the source of this pollution.
I started to practice Falun Gong in 1996. I took a lot of detours after the persecution began on July 20, 1999, and I ended up on the verge of collapse. With Teacher's hints and his compassionate care, as well as with help from fellow practitioners, I finally stepped out of the confusion and was freed from the trap set up by the old forces. Teacher said,
"Of course, this undertaking hasn't been completed yet, Fa-rectification hasn't been concluded, so there's still a chance for you to do well again. Indeed, as long as there's still one day when the persecution hasn't ended, that day is an opportunity. Use it well, do better, come back sooner, and don't miss any more opportunities. Don't dwell on your past mistakes--if you've made mistakes, then do well from now on. Don't think about the things that have happened. Think about how to do well from now on, and become truly responsible to yourself and to sentient beings. " ("Touring North America to Teach the Fa")
Since the persecution of Falun Gong began, I have been detained four times in detention centers and sentenced to forced labor camps three times between 1999 and 2004. I have been subjected to all kinds of inhuman tortures including "big hang up," (1) "hung up with hands cuffed behind the back," "dead person's bed," (2) force feeding, wearing two layers of a "straight jacket," beatings, standing for a long time without sleep, and deprived the use of a toilet. The evildoers also mixed unknown drugs into my food which would cause schizophrenic symptoms. After a severe beating one day, I was handcuffed, and then the evildoers used another pair of handcuffs to attach them to a window frame. The handcuffs cut into my flesh and caused a lot of bleeding, and left scars on my wrists. One day I was cuffed with my arms behind my back and then hung from a shelf which was over two meters high until I lost consciousness. On another occasion, six police officers beat me with batons until I passed out. This was for refusing to renounce Falun Dafa. At the time my consciousness left my body. I thought of what Teacher said in "Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples,"
"During the Fa-rectification period, disciples must not depart until the Fa-rectification is over. "
In my mind I thought that I had not yet fulfilled my historical mission. My consciousness came back to my body which was already cold. Even under that circumstance, the evildoers still handcuffed me to the bed. At the time I had blood in my stool and urine. It was Teacher who protected me all these times, otherwise, I would not still be alive. I felt remorseful however, that I had once lost my bearings and lost my way because I was not clear about the Fa principles. After I understood this I was still attached to my mistake and how to make up the loses, so I was taken advantage of by the evildoers. As a result I was arrested and persecuted once again. These lessons were very serious and I will reflect on them with deep gratitude.
After all of these experiences I came back to Dafa. However, my willpower and my self esteem were all hit hard and I was disheartened. I lost confidence and felt self-abased. After reading Teacher's Fa lectures and the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, I understood everything, and I experienced Teacher's mercy. I also experienced the base and shameless acts of the evil party controlled by the old forces, as well as the selfishness, the attachments, the human notions, and the warped bad ideas and thinking that formed from the Party culture's brainwashing. This all appeared clearly before my eyes. All this made me bitterly hate the old forces and the evil party as well as the bad and ugly things that appeared on me. I felt sick to see all these polluted things. Under this mentality I felt grief, indignation and resentment. The grief and resentment gushed out from the bottom of my heart and was so great that it almost drowned me. I would not forgive myself and I was constantly in tears. Sometimes I even became choked up with tears. I dared not to look at Teacher's portrait. I felt terribly bad for my role in persuading fellow practitioners to renounce Falun Dafa. This self-blaming and resentment constantly stabbed my bitter heart. As a result I had been in a trance with bad memories and I felt apathetic. I often stared blankly and was lost in thought.
After some time I thought of all those former practitioners who walked on a wrong path and I wanted to persuade them to come back to Dafa. However, even though I tried very hard, wrote many letters, and traveled extensively, most of them refused to listen. This made me very bitter. Under the circumstances I thought to myself that I'd better calm myself down and read Fa more, otherwise I would be unable to save others. Therefore, I studied almost all of Teacher's lectures, and gradually the queries and doubts in my mind were resolved. The grievances and resentment gradually disappeared and my heart became more and more at peace. I felt relieved and my thinking cleared up as well. I experienced the wonder of studying the Fa. Through repeated listening to the Nine Commentaries on Communist Party, "Analysis on Party Culture" and some other materials, the poison of the party culture in my mind was cleansed. On the basis of Fa study I looked back to see why I had taken so many detours and sought to determine the causes.
First was my fundamental attachment. I remember when I came to learn Falun Dafa. I knew that Falun Dafa was good. However, I could not clearly tell why I should cultivate Dafa. Teacher said,
"The primary purpose of my coming to the public is to guide people to high levels, genuinely guiding people to high levels."
"Let me tell everyone that since we are of a great cultivation way in the Buddha School, we of course cultivate Buddhahood. In the Tao School, one of course cultivates the Tao to attain the Tao." ("Lecture One" of Zhuan Falun)
Because of my indoctrination in atheism over a long period of time, I had no idea what a Buddha, Dao or God looked like, except the images I saw in movies. They looked wise and almighty, as if they were able to do anything. I had only this only shallow understanding of divine beings. I knew they were wonderful and great, but nothing further. Therefore, I did not connect Buddhas, Daos or gods with myself as a result. At the beginning of my cultivation my true purpose was to be a good person at the human level. However, I did not know what a truly "good person" was, and what's more, I knew little about the traditional Chinese moral standards and Chinese culture. In my cultivation and Fa-rectification, I had a lot of ideas and concepts of the evil party because of my mind being poisoned by the Party culture. It also became an obstacle in my Fa study and made it hard for me to distinguish the warped stuff of the Party culture from Dafa. It was easy for me to misunderstand the Fa and enlighten to the Fa along an evil path.
Second was my attachment of pursuit. I was very selfish and I liked for other people to rally around me. I was also anxious to outdo others to show off. However, I failed to realize that these manifestations were from my attachment. I thought that I was safeguarding the Fa, but actually, many of my acts that I thought were safeguarding the Fa were based on human notions and human theories. I basically failed to treat myself as a supernormal person and use my divine side to validate the Fa.
Third was the attachment of validating myself. Since I always wanted to validate my steadfastness toward the Fa, I tended to go to extremes, and I had the mentality of relying on luck. I blindly followed my perceptions which lacked rational cognition and guidance. I hated the human notions and attachments so much. I wanted to eliminate them on the one hand but took them as my true self on the other hand, which secretly strengthened them. As a result I failed to rid myself of them for a long time. With the passing of time I developed a kind of passive attitude.
What's more, I had very poor enlightenment quality and a weak main consciousness, as well as the interference by the rotten ghosts and the obstacles of thought karma. Because of all these factors I stumbled along my path of cultivation. This made it possible for the old forces to take advantage of me. As a result I not only brought losses to Dafa and our mission of saving the sentient beings, but I also experienced a lot of suffering myself. Even after I understood all this it took me a long time to adjust my thoughts. I felt very bitter. In clarifying the truth I tended to go to extremes. I was easily over-exited, so the result was not good and then I became more self-abased. I knew the importance of saving the sentient beings but I worried that I might push people away if I did not speak properly. The mixed feeling caused me to fear difficulties.
To solve the problem I stepped up my Fa study and began memorizing and reciting the Fa. I began to look inward to rectify my every thought. At the same time I extended the time I spent sending forth righteous thoughts. During the process of memorizing the Fa, I found that it was very slow at the beginning and I also experienced much interference. When checking myself I found that those parts that I had difficulty remembering were the parts where I was not clear on the Fa principles. In looking inside myself, I found the attachment of human ideas and concepts. As soon as I rectified my thoughts I found that I was able to memorize the Fa that I previously found hard to remember. Sentence by sentence and paragraph by paragraph, I gradually cleared away the obstacles in Fa study and rectified my ideas and concepts. I became increasingly clear about the Fa principles. I could constantly see the inner meaning of the Fa and I loved to study and memorize the Fa more and more. After I finished memorizing and reciting the Fa for the very first time I became clear on a lot of issues with which I had problems. I experienced the wonder of reading and memorizing the Fa.
The extension of the time for sending forth the righteous thoughts helped to clean a lot of thought karma, bad notions and evil factors, not only in my own dimension but also the corresponding dimensions. My mind became very clear and the interference became noticeably less. When various thoughts appeared in my mind, I measured them with the Fa. If they were not good I eliminated them instantly, then traced their origin and eradicated them by their roots. As a result, my ability to distinguish bad thoughts and bad notions improved. I am able to distinguish those thoughts and notions that are hard to notice, and eliminate them with the word "mie" (eliminate). I also found that some substances would disappear at once. For some deep-rooted thought karma, I could eliminate it by continuously sending forth righteous thoughts. The distracting thoughts have decreased and my righteous thoughts have become increasingly strong. With it I feel my body has become very light. I have truly enlightened to a deeper meaning of the Fa principle:
"...matter and mind are one thing." ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia")
I shifted from cultivating passively and blindly to cultivating positively under the guidance of Dafa, and I have become clear about the Fa principles. In this way I am able to eliminate the evil factors and truly control myself. When I look at things with the righteous thoughts of a divine being, I experience fundamental changes in myself and improve my level.
At the beginning of my cultivation I learned that changing our concepts was the basis of cultivation. I also learned that the old Fa principle of selfishness was the root of the acquired concepts. I tried to let go of these things in my cultivation to pursue the high realm of selflessness. However, later I found this mentality of pursuit generated a very strong attachment of validating myself without realizing it in the process of validating the Fa. Upgrading my level, understanding more profound Fa principles, reaching individual consummation and all other human attachments would be taken advantage of by the old forces and lead me to enlighten along an evil path. The human principles that formed deep in our hearts, including human concepts and the "Party culture," formed the selfish nature of the old cosmos. Many of these things are difficult to notice. As a result, I pursued the high realm on one hand to change my concepts and let go of selfishness, while at the same time strengthening this selfishness. This was because "pursuit" itself is an attachment and is selfish. It was impossible for me to use the mentality of selfishness to eliminate selfishness. When I realized this, I let go of the mentality of pursuit and attachment. During my Fa study I realized that the goal of cultivation was to return to the origin, improve our xinxing and change our bodies. These complement each other. However for a Fa-rectification period practitioner, personal cultivation is only the basis. The practitioner's mission decides the practitioner's realm. Practitioners have higher standards and are shouldering more important missions and responsibilities. They will not only return to their origin but also create a future. All this is orderly, and is accomplished during the process when Teacher rectifies the Fa and the practitioners validate the Fa and save sentient beings. Therefore, only by believing in Dafa and following Teacher, assimilating to the Fa, taking saving the sentient beings as our own responsibility, and letting go of attachments can we keep up with the process of Fa rectification. Any thoughts and actions that deviate from the Fa are extremely dangerous.
As the Fa-rectification proceeds to its final stage, time is very pressing. It's important for us to seize the time and save more sentient beings. However, the evil forces are trying to delay or occupy our time for saving sentient beings. Therefore we need to seize every minute and every second. Everything we do we must do wholeheartedly. We must watch ourselves to ensure we don't have the mentality of showing off, jealousy, the competitive mentality, or zealotry, so that we walk every step well. When practitioners work as one and have sentient beings in their hearts, and everyone does their best, then the day for the elimination of the evil forces and the Fa rectifies the human world will be around the corner.
Because of limitations in my level I still lag far behind in clarifying the truth and doing the three things. Therefore I need to work hard in these aspects. For anything I did not do well, please feel free to comment and correct.
Notes:
(1) Big hang up -- There are two forms of this torture: (a) With both hands cuffed behind the back and only toes touching the ground, one is hung by a rope that is tied to a metal window frame or similar structure. (b) One hand of a practitioner is cuffed to one bunk bed and the other hand to another bed. The two beds are then pulled in the opposite directions causing extreme pain as the body is pulled.
(2) Dead person's bed -- The four limbs of the practitioner are stretched out and tied to the four corners of an ice-cold metal bed. The practitioner cannot move at all and is not allowed to get up to eat, drink or use the bathroom. This treatment can last from several hours up to two weeks. This type of cruel torture causes severe damage to the practitioner, both mentally and physically.
