(Clearwisdom.net) I was lucky enough to become a Falun Gong practitioner in 2002. After I started cultivation, I read Zhuan Falun and I was suddenly awakened. I realized the sole criterion to measure all things is "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance." I realized how Falun Dafa is sacred, dignified, and boundless. I realized how tiny and ignorant I was. Because of my very bad habits, often whenever one of my attachments was not completely eliminated, another one would surface. All these attachments were the bad demeanor of everyday people--very dirty and corrupt. Some of them controlled me for several years, yet I was not able to recognize their nature nor eliminate them at the root. Through studying the Fa every day, recently I was able to have a relatively clear understanding of my fundamental attachment. But I know I still fall far short.
Before I obtained Dafa, I had suffered many hardships and difficulties. During these hardships, I learned techniques to protect myself. I learned to be tough, I learned to not tolerate other's mistakes, and I learned "tit for tat is fair play"--all behavior that is the opposite of "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance." I used today's declining moral standard to measure myself and I felt I was a good person.
When I was young, I was relatively smart. I was a top-notch student at school and developed the habit of looking down on people who did not like to study. When I took a leadership position in class, I was very responsible. I did not like my classmates who were selfish, and I did not like those who argued with and embarrassed others. In fact, my habits did not conform to "Truthfulness" or to "Forbearance." I also pursued fame, personal gain, and qing.
After I graduated from college, I had a strong sense of responsibility at work. I did not like co-workers who were careless. When I saw my bosses were not diligent, my heart would boil. I could not tolerate that and I would show it on my face and in my speech. As a practitioner, one should tell good from bad, but one should not be upset. In addition, at the appropriate time and when not hurting someone else's feelings, we should help others sincerely. This is the noble demeanor of a cultivator, and this will show the cultivator's great compassion and great forbearance. So when we use the Fa as a mirror for our thoughts and conduct, only then will we know our shortcomings. Recently, I have adjusted my attitude, been tolerant of others, and willingly and patiently helped others. I no longer had the urge to complain about my coworkers. It turned out my coworkers were also very happy. My boss also praised me and said that I was selfless.
One of my relatives obtained Dafa eight years earlier than I, yet he didn't do the three things well. For example, other practitioners asked for his help to distribute truth-clarification letters. When he came home, he just threw the letters aside and did not distribute them for a few months. The practitioner continued to give him the letters and he still continued to accept the letters. Yet he brought the letters home and did not distribute them, and he didn't let the other practitioners know this. For things like that, I would always be upset. Of course what he did was wrong, but I was upset and I did not achieve forbearance. No matter how we clarify the truth or remind practitioners to be diligent, we should only persuade them to be good. Under all circumstances, we should always use "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" to examine ourselves. An unexpected conflict is the best test for a cultivator's forbearance. When looking inside deeply at my heart, I found that my feelings of distress are actually demons, and that is not state of a divine being. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun:
"being upset is sentimentality, so are happiness, love, hatred, enjoying doing one thing, resenting doing another thing, preferring one person to another, hobbies, and dislikes. Everything belongs to sentimentality, and everyday people just live for it. Then, as a practitioner and one who rises above and beyond, one should not use this approach to judge things, and one should break away from them."
Whenever we are angry, at least when viewed from the perspective of "Forbearance," we are a non-practitioner. When I saw my shortcomings and yet could not break away from them, I still studied the Fa every day. Finally I was able to find their root. Recently, I am not arguing with my husband anymore. I am able to do the three things well and save sentient beings.
While doing truth-clarification one day, I was facing a group of over a hundred people. I talked to them about how wonderful Falun Dafa is, and I urged them to remember this and not to believe the lies against Falun Gong. Over a hundred people had joy in their eyes, and they all smiled from their hearts. Teacher said a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period should do well both in validating the Fa and personal cultivation. I always remember to take the Fa as the Teacher and to have strong confidence in Dafa when facing tribulations. Along with saving sentient beings, I know to improve my Fa study, to have the Fa in our hearts all the time, to not let attachments control us, to not lose rationality, to not use any excuses to cover up our attachments, to not exaggerate others' mistakes, to study the Fa every day, and to do well the three things every day. The truth proved that when we study the Fa every day, the effect of saving sentient beings is very good.
I firmly believe Teacher's Fa:
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I still have a lot of attachments, and I still have not done enough. Please point out anything improper. Greetings to esteemed Teacher. I am grateful for Teacher's benevolent salvation. Heshi.