(Clearwisdom.net) I have been persecuted many times. Afterwards, I would search inside myself to find my problems because I realized that there must have been something that I did not enlighten to that the evil took advantage of. Eventually I realized that it was because I failed to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts solidly. I studied the Fa like I was going through some kind of formality. I had made a rule to study one lecture of Zhuan Falun, send forth righteous thoughts four times a day, and practice the five sets of exercises every day, and that's it. As for sending forth righteous thoughts constantly and everywhere, I gave it up after persisting in doing so for a short period of time, and after that I found it more difficult to do so. I did not know what my problem was, and I was very passive. Consequently, I was sent to a forced labor camp. One time, I developed fear for no reason at all and could no longer persevere. As a result I was subjected to sleep deprivation for a month.
Afterwards, a fellow practitioner shared his understanding with me and mentioned that when he encountered difficulties, he always asked for Teacher's support. After that, one time while being interrogated and tortured by the evildoers, I felt an evil force trying to challenge my way of thinking. If I sent forth righteous thoughts or recited the Fa, I felt awful in my mind as soon as I slacked off. One time, I could not bear it any more, and I suddenly remembered my previous experience and the fellow practitioner's words, so I asked for Teacher's help, and miraculously I stopped having the awful feeling. I later noticed that I had the same awful feeling before I was persecuted. For instance, when I tried to use letters to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa, my hands would feel burning hot, but I ignored it because I did not know why. Then various gruesome and ghastly forces tried to control me, and sometimes I lost control of my body and my hands would hit other objects for no reason at all. Sometimes my heart ached, or I felt burning hot or gruesome and ghastly. What was more terrifying was that I thought about being sent to a forced labor camp, and I could not get rid of those stubborn thoughts at all.
Through looking inward I understood that it was the dark minions and rotten ghosts that were trying to interfere with me, and it was because of the old forces that I had bad and ill thoughts. By ignoring it, I was tacitly acknowledging it, and therefore the evil took advantage of my loopholes. It was like what Teacher said in Zhuan Falun, "This universe has this principle that no one will stop you as long as this is what you want, and neither will anyone say that you are good." (from Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun) That's why they sent for the evil police to persecute me. After understanding it, I learned to be more specific. When something similar happened, I negated the bad and ill thoughts, and in particular, I negated the thoughts of acknowledging my persecution. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the dark minions and rotten ghosts until it was like a clear blue sky and there were no more interfering factors in the other dimension. Sometimes I also sent forth righteous thoughts to find the person who reported me to the authorities and eliminated his/her evil thoughts.
Afterwards, I realized that it was not enough. Why did people still report me to the authorities many times, and why did the evil want to persecute me? The key reason was because I did not study the Fa or send forth righteous thoughts solidly. When I studied the Fa I could not persist in sitting in the lotus position, and therefore I dozed off easily. I was not able to overcome my problem. I felt that studying one lecture of Zhuan Falun was not enough, and consequently I felt it was difficult to do anything or maintain my xinxing. So I started to stand while studying the Fa, and I studied three lectures every day. The next day my head was clear and I was basically able to maintain my righteous thoughts for a whole day. This way my righteous thoughts had power, I did not go to extremes when I clarified the truth about Falun Dafa to others, and the evil could not take advantage of my loopholes.
The tribulations I encountered before basically followed the same pattern: I failed to study the Fa solidly, my mind was not calm, my righteous thoughts were weak, my behavior was extreme when I clarified the truth about Falun Dafa to others, the old forces interfered with my thoughts, the dark minions and rotten ghosts interfered with me, my environment got worse, and the police persecuted me. Teacher tried to give me hints many times amidst all these issues, yet I did not enlighten.
Fellow practitioners, please kindly correct me if there's anything improper in my sharing.