(Clearwisdom.net) Editor's note: October 1st is the 60th anniversary of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) taking power in mainland China. The nervous and hyper-sensitive regime has taken a series of measures to restrict Internet access during this period for fear of any unexpected event that could trigger its collapse.
Last Thursday, I went on the Epoch Times website and tried to send the list of individuals who have declared their withdrawal from the Communist Party and its affiliated organizations. The Internet speed was extremely slow and I could not send it. Later, when I tried it again, I could not get onto the website however I tried. I asked a fellow practitioner who is good with computers about this, and that learned the internet is being severely blocked by the regime, and no one is able to get on certain websites (that the CCP does not allow people to get onto). That evening, I brought the list of names to practitioner A who, with a very strong righteous thoughts, got onto the website right away. So why couldn't I get on it? What was my loophole? On the way home, I kept pondering over this issue, but wasn't able to discern the reason.
By Friday, I still could not log onto the Dynaweb. After work, I went to practitioner B's home to see if she could download Minghui Weekly. Practitioner B easily got onto the Minghui website and downloaded the information that I wanted onto my USB mobile hard drive.
I felt quite shocked; with the same internet blockade, why couldn't I get onto the website despite of all of the means that I had tried? When I happened to notice the VCDs and other various truth-clarification materials she had just prepared, I suddenly understood the cause. In the last two weeks, because of my increased workload both at home and at my workplace, I was bogged down in work and I had to transfer my responsibility of preparing different truth-clarification materials to practitioner A who is responsible for the coordination of local Dafa work and also has a lot of things to do. Nevertheless, Practitioner A still accepted all the work that I gave her. This week I was no longer that busy, but I had the thought of still letting practitioner A prepare this week's materials so I could read the Fa and make up for the inadequacy of my Fa study in the past; this was a selfish thought. It was this selfish thought that had perhaps caused me to be unable to get onto the website. After finding the loophole, when I tried to get onto the website on Saturday, I succeeded only after two attempts.
On Sunday, I went to practitioner C's home. He was feeling anxious over being unable to get into the internet, and he was happy to see me come. I told him my experience of getting onto the internet. I believe that getting onto our website is a very serious and solemn matter and our minds should be clean and pure. But it still did not work after we tried several more times. Before I left, we reminded each other to look inward as we believe that the internet blockade can only block human notions and it cannot block the righteous thoughts of Dafa disciples!
On Monday I couldn't get onto the website again. I recalled that when I shared understandings with practitioner C, I held the hidden attachments of showing off, being complacent, being above others, etc. When I identified these attachments, I could get onto Dynaweb right away; but shortly after I opened the Minghui website, the connection was interrupted and I could not get onto it again no matter how I tried. At that time, I saw my attachment of always wanting to getting things from Minghui; every week I went to Minghui to download materials and read fellow practitioners' cultivation understanding sharing, while I rarely wrote for Minghui or sent righteous thoughts to support the Minghui website and eliminate the evils and factors that interfere with this Dafa practitioners' platform of sharing views. When I realized this, I immediately started to send righteous thoughts. However, I could not calm down and the effect was not good. As a result, I still could not get onto the website. Furthermore, my mind was not in a pure state either; I sent righteous thoughts for the sake of my getting onto the website.
The next day at noon, I silently sent righteous thoughts and also asked Master to strengthen me. After sending righteous thoughts for a long time, I still could not get on the website. I couldn't help feeling dejected; some thoughts also came into my mind: I have kept searching within myself; now my mind is already pretty pure, and I have also made so much effort to send righteous thoughts. Master, can you help me this once and encourage me this once? These thoughts startled me; these thoughts revealed my disrespect of Master and my attachment of pursuit. I hurriedly repulsed these unrighteous thoughts! I also realized that I need to solidly cultivate in a surefooted way; that only knowing the Fa principle and seeing my own gaps is not sufficient and I still need to truly make the effort and cultivate to that level.
I suddenly had a thought of using two different types of anti-internet-blocking software at the same time. I quickly logged onto Dynaweb and could also easily log onto Minghui website. It really was a miracle! I immediately understood that it was Master who was encouraging me. It was really that "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master." (Zhuan Falun) In the coming several days, I could always get onto the website easily; and it is still the case when the new test version of Freegate software was published today.
This is my experience of these several days of trying to break through the internet blockade. I wrote down the process of my repeatedly looking inward, in hopes of further understanding my own shortcomings and at the same time providing some reference to practitioners who are having difficulty getting onto the websites or other seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
September 27, 2009