(Clearwisdom.net) Sixty-four years ago when my mother was pregnant with me, she came across three hungry wolves. One of the wolves attacked her and knocked her down. She did not have any fear and fought with them barehanded. A farmer later came to help her and drove the wolves away. Afterwards, when people talked about this incident, they believed for sure that I would be born a lucky baby.

Born with tribulations

As far back as I can remember, I was ill all the time as a child. I was bullied at school; when I married, my husband always insulted me; in my job I worked very hard, only to see others take the credit for what I had done. I would often cry over my misfortunes.

Learning Falun Dafa, the path to return to my true self

In April 1996, I read the first three pages of the book Zhuan Falun. I thought the author was magnificent to dare to write such things during such a time in China. When I finished the book, I felt like someone had suddenly lit a torch for me to see in the dark. Then I knew where I should be heading.

I enthusiastically introduced Falun Dafa to the people I knew. At the time, Falun Dafa was very popular, and it was difficult to get the books and videotapes of the exercises and lectures. So, I decided to buy Zhuan Falun in bulk and give them to those who needed them. I also bought a tape recorder and copied the exercises and lectures for others. I felt that I was doing the best thing in my life--helping Teacher.

Within three weeks of learning the teachings of Falun Dafa, I vomited and had diarrhea. I knew that Teacher was cleansing my body. A fortnight after that, I had a dream that was so real: an earthquake was coming and everyone was trying to flee the area. As the ground was sinking, I tried to help others get their belongings, but I did not care about all the precious things that they were trying to rescue. When I woke up, I knew that Teacher was telling me that a practitioner should not be attached to any material things or fortune.

As the number of people who practiced Falun Dafa increased, the government started to take notice of the practice. I talked to some government officials about the health benefits of Falun Dafa and really wanted them to leave us alone. Most of them could understand me, and some were even supportive of the practice.

After the April 25 incident, a divisional head of my school warned me that Jiang Zemin had written a letter to the Politburo, describing how Falun Dafa could ruin the country and the Party and how it needed to be eradicated. In June, 1999, he showed me a top secret document from the Department of Education and asked me what to do. I was very glad that he sincerely wanted to protect Falun Dafa, so I told him how to deal with the Department of Education. Before July 20, 1999, he allowed us to hold a large scale exercise demonstration in the school to promote the teachings of Falun Dafa. Later, he wisely left his position and transferred to another school.

In the lead-up to July 20, 1999, the atmosphere was tense everywhere. There were meetings and investigations in every workplace. I wanted people to understand how magnificent Teacher was, so I recorded the last part of the Questions & Answers section of Teacher's lecture in Canada, May 23, 1999, and sent the tapes to the management of the leadership in my school. Those who listened to Teacher's lecture were amazed and had high praise for Teacher's wisdom.

The Persecution

After July 20, 1999, I went everywhere to appeal for Falun Dafa, and each time I was arrested. I had my belongings confiscated, I was locked up, my money was taken, and my family suffered tremendous pressure from the authorities. As a result, my mother became ill, my son was expelled from school, and my relatives suffered from constant harassment by the police. However, none of these things swayed me. I was determined to remain steadfast in my belief in Falun Dafa.

On January 19, 2000, I was arrested and locked in a small, damp cellar. It was so small that I had to sleep with my legs curled up to my waist. I was handcuffed and it was very uncomfortable. All I was given to eat was stale bread and soup that had bugs floating in it. Luckily, I was released several days later.

In June 2000, when I went to visit my mother, the local police broke into her home and arrested me. They extorted 4300 yuan from us and even took some of my mother's clothes. In September 2000, while I was distributing Falun Dafa truth clarification materials, someone reported me to the police. I was arrested and sentenced to one and a half years in a forced labor camp.

In September 2004, I was sentenced to three years for distributing informational materials. During the trial, I was asked many times why I did not give up Falun Dafa. I told them, "The Great Hall of the People, on Tiananmen Square, is where the government officials hold their meetings, and I wanted to talk to them about the unjust treatment I have suffered, but I was arrested by the state police instead." They then told me that I should think about my son and my aged mother. I told them, "Everyone has their own fate. My son's future would not be any worse or better because of me. I love my mother and I want to be a good person. I care nothing about politics, but you follow Jiang Zemin's orders to suppress me and put me in prison. I don't hate you, because you want to keep your jobs. Practitioners suffer to tell people in this nation the truth about the persecution, so that they will not have to suffer any consequences by punishing good people. Instead of thanking me, you incarcerated me. Jiang is the real criminal!" During this illegal trial, Dafa gave me wisdom to be able to respond to their questions. I was then released after the trial.

When I was arrested at home in Hebei Province, the police handcuffed me in such a position that I couldn't stand up straight or completely squat down. When a policeman started to pick on me I ignored him. Then he violently pushed me around, so I told him, "You are a big man and an officer of the state police, and you pick a fight with an unarmed old woman. Aren't you ashamed?" The man then stopped. Later, I was transferred to the Shahe Detention Center, where I went on a hunger strike. With the help of practitioners in Shahe, I was able to leave the detention center.

Validate the Fa with righteous thoughts and righteous actions

In October 2001, I was held in the Dongcheng Police Station. According to the prison rules, one of us had to be "on duty" and stay up the whole night. The day I was "on duty," I laid down like everybody else that night. The guard yelled at me and woke everyone up. I waited until the guards pulled me up and then told them that I had fainted. The next day the head guard yelled at me. I told him, "The food here is terrible. The prisoners take advantage of practitioners and take all our food. I don't have anything to eat and I am not allowed to sleep. Of course I fainted. Besides, I am not guilty. Why should I do what other prisoners do? What can I do when I am on duty? I can't stop others from killing themselves or each other. Why aren't the guards doing their job? If someone dies again (one of the prisoners committed suicide some time before and the director of the police station was transferred elsewhere), you will all be in deep trouble."

The next day, the head guard sent out a notice, "Falun Dafa practitioners will not have to be on duty anymore and they will get the same amount of food as the others." This was a great success after all the tribulations practitioners had suffered.

Although practitioners did not have to be on duty anymore, they still had to stay up all night sometimes like the other prisoners. In October 2004, while I was being held in the Haidian Police Station, I decided to protest. At night when everyone was forced to sit still on the floor, I laid down. The guard and head guard both yelled at me and dragged me out of the cell. I thought to myself, "Up, up, up!" Suddenly I passed out on the floor. The head guard panicked and called the director of the police station and a doctor. The doctor took my blood pressure; it was over 200. I refused to take the pills they tried to give me or drink water. They asked me what I wanted. I told them it was sleep that I wanted. From them on, the guards rarely forced prisoners to stay up all night.

One day during midwinter, the guards forced all practitioners to strip naked and squat on the ground outside all day. We could barely stand afterwards. For meals, they cooked rice in water, but they threw away the rice and only allowed us to drink the water. Normally, from 5 a.m. to midnight, practitioners had to sit on a dirty floor wrapping disposable chopsticks. When a practitioner complained about the hygiene of the chopsticks, she was beaten so badly that she could not stand up.

When I was sent to a forced labor camp, I was not allowed to sleep because I refused to renounce my belief in Falun Dafa. The guards dragged me to the hallway and forced me to sit on a stool.Just as they were about to beat me, I fell on the ground and made a loud crashing sound as I hit the floor. They wanted me to be quiet, so I shouted, "You are going to knock me down and kick me. I am too old for this." Then they dragged me to the back entrance and had me stand there all night.

In the labor camp, when a practitioner refused to give up her belief in Dafa, the guards did not allow her to drink water or use the toilet and forced her to stay in a water dungeon, a cage with the majority of it submerged in water, all the time. The guards also used sharp needles to poke a practitioner's private parts. When I wrote a letter to expose the evil situation that I personally witnessed and delivered the letter directly to the head warden, Li Jirong, it brought me trouble from then on. The guards kept harassing me and instigated other prisoners to harass me, too.

I always openly expressed my opinions, hoping to help other practitioners who were not sure what to do when in prison. I told them it was illegal for the guards to beat us and it had to stop. Gradually, more and more practitioners dared to stand up and protest the beatings. As a result, there were fewer beatings. When I was transferred to an intensive training team, I met several practitioners who had memorized Zhuan Falun and they would recite it to me. This allowed me to became more steadfast.

Look inside and progress diligently

Once, I was delirious and wrote a guarantee statement saying that I would stop practicing Falun Dafa. Although I was forced to write the statement and it was not of my own free will, I still did what a practitioner should not do. When I was clearheaded and thought it over, I felt terrible for what I had done. In the prison I was very stressed and thought, "I am finished. Because I wrote such things, Teacher will not care for me anymore." Then my blood pressure shot up again.

When I left the prison, I couldn't get hold of any Dafa materials, as my family strictly monitored my movements. I did not feel like living anymore and had a high fever for many days. My family took me to a hospital and spent a lot of money for an exam. According to the results, I wasn't sick. Tears rolled down my cheeks when I realized Teacher was still looking after me.

I was quick to obtain a copy of Zhuan Falun from a practitioner and desperately read through it. I also watched the performance by Shen Yun Performing Arts. Teacher said, "The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference", Essentials for Further Advancement II)

I was able to find many of my attachments, and would like to ennumerate them below.

-I did not trust the Fa and did not respect Teacher. I did not think I had supernormal powers and refused to send righteous thoughts. This was the main reason that I was arrested many times, and one of my deadliest attachments.

--Fear. I was afraid of the police, the police cars, and the slandering from the evil.

--Attachment of pursuit. I wanted Teacher to let me have supernormal powers, and I wanted the persecution to end as soon as possible.

--Attachment to comfort. I would not get up at night when it was time to send righteous thoughts.

--I felt I was wronged and was jealous. Seeing those practitioners who stayed at home and did not come out to clarify the truth about the persecution, I thought that I suffered for them. I thought that if they had stepped up, the persecution would have been over. I thought I fell because of these practitioners.

--Wanting to validate myself. My attachments made me validate myself without noticing it. "The more you put you first or mix in [factors of] self, the less mighty-virtue you have, and that's why it is less likely that you succeed at things or do them well." (Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students)

--Showing off. I wanted to show off and validate myself.

--A sense of inferiority. I did not have any supernormal abilities and Teacher would not give them to me, even when I begged for them. I considered myself to have a lot of karma and believed I would not succeed in the practice.

--Attachment to conflict. I liked to argue with people to prove that I was right. I often argued when I validated the Fa and the results were negative.

--Feeling lonely. I was arrested many times and my relatives stayed away from me.

In addition to the above attachments, I also liked to take chances, was impatient, and I liked to prove myself with the work I was doing.

Saving people is urgent

I negated the old forces' arrangements and returned to Dafa. I realized that the Fa rectification in all other dimensions was over, except here in the three realms. It is urgent for us to save people now. Everything in the three realms came for this Fa, and they represent an enormous number of beings. We also need to help practitioners that have gone astray to come back to the Fa. "I can't leave behind any of the Dafa disciples. Every person is family to me" ("Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students").

During the Beijing Olympics, the team from the US stayed and trained in the school where I worked. The CCP installed detectors in every corner and monitors on every floor. It was hard for me to tell people the truth about the persecution, and I became stressed again. I was determined to do what a practitioner should do. I sent righteous thoughts every time before I set out to deliver truth clarification materials and asked for Teacher's help. I distributed fliers to every building and every household. I went from being scared by dogs barking to feeling safe right behind a police car while I was delivering fliers.

My understanding is that those Chinese with higher education and higher ranks are deeply poisoned by the CCP's Party culture. Clarifying the truth to them could be hard and dangerous at times. However, sentient beings are eagerly waiting for salvation and we must hurry.

"Surpassing time and space,
Fa-rectification dashes forward
Massive is the challenge,
but your will is firm..." ("A Will That Ebbs Not")