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It Takes a Selfless Heart to Understand Others

Nov. 2, 2009 |   By Jin Zhonggang

(Clearwisdom.net) In conversations with my friends, they told me that they didn't always understand their co-workers, friends, and bosses. Sometimes they don't know if they are being kind and caring, or critical and sarcastic.

I have had similar experiences. Since I began practicing Falun Gong as a young child, I take many ordinary people's things lightly. However, as I became older and more affected by society, I also began to wonder if people had other meanings when they talked to me. As I studied the Fa more, I realized this was due to my notions and attachments. I needed to let go of this mentality. Having realized this, I decided to interpret others' words kindly. Regardless of what intent a person has, we should understand him or her in a kind way. We will not lose anything. On the other hand, we may misunderstand others if we interpret everything they say in a negative way.

I recall a story about Confucius that addresses this point. Yan Hui is Confucius' most esteemed disciple. Once when Confucius was on a teaching tour, he was stranded on the road between Chen and Cai, and did not have food for seven days. Yan Hui, after a lot of efforts, was able to find but a little rice. He built a stove to cook it. As the rice was just about done, Confucius smelled the aroma and looked up. He saw Yan Hui grabbing a handful of rice and putting it in his mouth. When Yan Hui told Confucius that the rice was ready, Confucius wanted to test him, and said, "I just dreamed of my late father. I would like to offer him this untouched rice to remember him." Yan Hui said hurriedly, "No, no, this rice is not clean. When I was cooking, some dust fell in the pot. I didn't want to throw the rice away so I just took it with my hand and ate it." Confucius then knew that Yan Hui did not steal the rice. Confucius was moved, and said, "I believe in my own eyes, but my eyes may betray me. I rely on my own thoughts, but my thoughts may not be reliable. Disciples, you should remember that it's not easy to know the intent of another person."

Conversely, if the person had bad intentions, yet we treat him with kind thoughts, we can move him and inspire his innate kindness. Goodness and evil co-exist in everyone's nature. When inspired by selflessness, one will show his kindness. During performances by Shen Yun Performing Arts, the artists embody pure goodness and pure beauty, and thus the audience responds with thunderous applause. The kindness and compassion shown through the dances and songs move many to tears, restore their faith in traditional cultures, and awaken their kind thoughts. A virtuous person should have a big heart. One can only understand and forgive others if he is able to be selfless.

As the ancient book of Zhong Yong says, "Having learned the benefits [of being virtuous], [Yan Hui] always remembered it in his heart and never let it depart." I hope that after hearing this story, you will also treat everyone around you with kindness. It is easy to have kind thoughts occasionally; it takes a selfless heart to always treat everyone kindly.