(Clearwisdom.net) Dear Master and fellow practitioners:
I want to share my cultivation experience with other practitioners in the world. If there is any mistake, please point it out.
Tests in the Family
Most of my tests during cultivation came from my family. At the beginning, I did not know how to look within for the root causes. When conflicts occurred, I only searched on the surface and didn't look beyond, nor did I think about my own human attachments for the real reason that caused the troubles. As a result, things kept happening that puzzled me. After continuously studying the Fa and sharing with other practitioners, I improved my understandings in cultivation, and my family conflicts subsided.
At that time, my biggest tribulation was frequently facing angry insults from my wife. She used very vulgar language to attack me and sometimes she even threatened to report my activities to the 610 Office. As a result, I had to secretly do the Three Things and tried to avoid letting her know as much as possible. For several years, my cultivation was in a stalemate. I was anxious to make a breakthrough but did not know how. When she cursed at me using poisonous words, the insults and intensity of the words almost killed me. Even our neighbors became outraged. Most of the time, I did not fight back and even before I practiced Dafa, I was usually silent when she yelled at me. Gradually, I became numb to my wife's hot temper. Over time, I formed a notion about her: "To me, she is always an unreasonable, stubborn, and angry person." I gave up on her and never expected her to change. This notion became a strong attachment, so I was not able to improve my understandings for a long time. This also prevented her from improving, and now I am so ashamed of my wrong notions. Master must have been concerned about this for years.
With this tribulation, I tried to search for the apparent reason that triggered it, but failed to see my own attachments as the cause. Cultivation is for the improvement of our hearts and thoughts, not to fix a particular incident or conflict. Master told us in Zhuan Falun, "Our school of practice directly targets one's mind."
When I was agonized by my wife's attacks, I thought: "Why does she behave like this all the time? I do not talk back and I am not angry. When will she quit?" Her mean-spirited scolding was like sharp knives cutting into my flesh. I would never forgive her. In reality, my strong notions about her stubbornness caused her to always behave that way. I did not change my notion for a long time, and, as a result, she was trapped in anger.
As I started writing this article, it suddenly dawned on me that during the past several dozen years of our marriage, I had never put myself in her shoes and tried to see things her way. Before I practiced Falun Gong, it was unthinkable to feel for her when she insulted me with her horrendous curses. But now I am a practitioner; if I still cannot have consideration for her feelings, I would be a poor student of Dafa, and my performance according to Dafa's requirements would be extremely unsatisfactory. It was a xinxing problem.
Coming to this realization, I consistently reminded myself to abide by the Fa's standards for cultivation. Master has already removed the bad substances in other dimensions for me. Recently, my environment improved and I no longer hide my activities from my wife. Sometimes she even helps me clarify the truth and distribute Falun Gong flyers.
Before, I really suffered terrible consequences due to my strong attachments. One day while I was explaining the facts about Falun Gong to a friend, my wife suddenly got ticked off. She picked up a shovel and swung it at me with all her strength. The sharp edge barely grazed me, but the back of the shovel hit my leg. Had the sharp edge landed on my leg, I would have been left with only one leg. The onlookers were horrified. I knew that Master protected me. Later, when I recalled the incident, I felt really scared. From this experience, I realized that a cultivator's attachment is the source of all tribulations. When bad things happen, we should look within for our attachments. This is especially the case when domestic disputes occur. Our family members' behavior is oftentimes a mirror of our cultivation, and our own attachments are clearly being reflected.
Once during a shopping trip with my wife, I noticed that she shortchanged the vendor. After reflecting, I realized that I also had the habit of taking advantage of others on trivial matters. When my wife is having a temper tantrum, I examine myself to see if I still have some resentment against others. When my wife gossips, I should also see if I still have issues in my speech. My family members' behavior may be an indication of the issues I still have. For a practitioner, nothing is accidental.
Doing the Three Things
I spend most of my efforts distributing informational materials to the public, and on most occasions I do it alone. I have traveled to many different places in the city and country. I have delivered flyers to the police, the courthouse, the judiciary system, other government agencies, and thousands of families. As long as I do this work with a pure mind and follow the principles of the Fa, I do not get into trouble. The quality of the materials must be satisfactory. I do not distribute any material with errors, fuzzy pictures, or blurred print. During distribution, when I maintain a calm mind, things go well. This cannot be faked, for it is a natural outcome of one's cultivation state. If I did not do the Three Things, did not clarify the truth, did not distribute flyers, and did not go through these scary experiences, my fear would not be relinquished. Master told us in Zhuan Falun, "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master."
One day when I was handing out materials, a security person followed me. He asked to check my bag and I calmly refused, "You cannot." He stopped demanding to check my bag, but still refused to let me go. I got nervous and thought: "What should I do now?" This impure thought extended the harassment. He continued to question me for 30 minutes and even threatened to call the police. I realized my human thoughts and immediately rectified them in my mind. I finally regained my composure. My mind was nearly empty with only one thought: "I am here to save people!" Afterwards, the situation was resolved by a divine intervention.
When spreading the truth, if we are responsible for people's future and try to save them, Master always arranges a most suitable situation. When I first went to a condominium to distribute Dafa materials, I found to my dismay that all the building entrances were locked, so I was very disappointed. The second time I returned, the same thing happened. I did not give up and thought, "The doors couldn't be locked all the time. I am not afraid of trouble and things will change with righteous thoughts." The next time I returned, all the doors were open. I believe this was arranged by Master to test how we react to difficulties, so we can improve on our cultivation path while saving people. As long as we position our hearts in the right place and take the responsibility to help people, locks cannot stop us. Once I went to a mountain village to distribute flyers. Shortly after I began, a dog started barking, and the rest of the dogs in the village also started to bark. The villagers came out with flashlights. It was my first encounter with such a situation, but I did not panic. I kept out of their sight and continued to deliver all the flyers. It was dark, so no one really saw me. I knew Master was protecting me all the time. Master said, "just by having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations." ("Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
As Master's Fa-rectification is approaching the final stage, some people in remote villages still have not heard the truth about Falun Gong because relatively few practitioners live in the countryside. There are some places I do not even know about, but I knew that school students from the country came from many different places. When we deliver the materials to them, they take them home and the materials are then spread to more places. When the DVD of the Shen Yun show was published for Chinese practitioners in 2009, I went to a country school and handed them out to the students. Every time I went, I handed out at least a few dozen DVDs. Some students were very glad to get them and said, "I will watch it at home." I also went door to door to deliver the Shen Yun DVD, telling everyone that I was a promoter of Shen Yun and asking them to share it with their friends and relatives. Most of the people in the countryside were happy to receive it. I also handed out the DVDs at the bus stations and on the buses, and most people accepted the gift. Some people refused to take the DVDs, and others asked why I was handing them out. My answer was that I wanted them to see the beauty of the five thousands years of our traditional culture, and that they would have a bright future after watching the show. Most people were happy to hear this and others branded this as a Falun Gong propaganda. I usually gave them an explanation of a few words and avoided debating with them. I made sure that I had no impure thoughts. Otherwise, the old forces could have taken advantage of the situation and caused damage to our saving people.
This is my first time to write an experience sharing article, which I wrote rather quickly. With only seven years of education, it was not easy for me. When I made changes to the draft, I almost cried. Master helped me and Dafa provided me with wisdom. As I wrote, many thoughts came to me and I felt my own improvement. Writing this article has been a cultivation experience. This is what Master would want. As a disciple, I should unconditionally harmonize all aspects and accomplish my tasks. Today, I finally made a step forward. Regardless of the quality of my article, I do what Master expects us to do and thus feel reassured.
