(Clearwisdom.net) In November 2002, two police officers arrived at my home, demanding to know if I practiced Falun Gong and whether I knew that people that distributed truth clarification materials in public. Since they were already here, I thought I should tell them about the goodness of Falun Dafa and how I benefited from it. Unfortunately, they wanted me to go to the police station to talk to them. They said they wanted to record what I said. I was happy about this possibility, cooperated with them, and went. Once I got there, though, they refused to let me return home. They even ransacked my home and confiscated all my Dafa books and informational materials. Following a 24-hour period of interrogation, they put me in a detention center.
The Fa is the only standard by which to measure whether the path taken is right or wrong
My children cried, and my husband made troubles. Even my father-in-law, the moment he saw that I refused to say, "I won't practice," broke into a torrent of physical abuse. I could understand their feeling; I looked at parents' white hairs and the pained expressions in the eyes of those who were present. I could only comment with tears running down my face, "Mom and Dad, I didn't do anything wrong, I could not go against my conscience and tell lies. Falun Dafa is good!" These words singled me out as an important person, and the detention center broadcast my fate via a loudspeaker, criticizing me as "inhumane." I was unconstitutionally sent to a forced labor camp for three years. I took this to be a test for me, even though I felt it was not really right, but I didn't know how it was wrong. Master tried to give me hints in my dreams. I was unable to understand it clearly. At that moment I could only calm my mind through daily Fa recitation.
While in the forced labor camp, my captors subjected me to barbaric physical torture. Even though none of these made my faith in Dafa waver, complex and heavy human attachments and lack of clarity on Fa principles made me finally take a detour. Deep down I knew that cultivation is serious, and that Falun Dafa had deep roots in my life. No matter what we do--right or wrong--we must measure each step on our cultivation path against the Fa.
Not too long after I returned home, fellow practitioners helped me. I read through all the Fa lectures Master gave after July 20, 1999, several times. I had never read them before but fully understood all at once the concepts of the old forces, what righteous thoughts are, what it means to deny the old forces' arrangements, what it means to be a Dafa disciple during the Fa- rectification era, and what our responsibilities are during that time. When I had previously studied the "Enlightenment" section in Zhuan Falun, I could not understand it, no matter what. Then I asked the other practitioners what enlightenment meant and, at that moment I understood: That is, based on studying the Fa, it is the extent to which you can believe in Master and the Fa when you really encounter problems and tribulations. I cried tears of embarrassment and happiness.
Raising my level of comprehension of the Fa, xinxing improves during truth clarification
"Assimilate into the Fa," "Righteous mind and righteous actions," "Clarify the truth clearly," "Offer salvation to sentient beings:" I wrote these four sentences on paper and posted it near my bedside. I used them to urge myself to advance constantly. Since I have learned my responsibilities and become aware of my mission, I must do them.
Clarifying the facts began with my relatives. My husband initially interfered but changed his attitude due to my sending righteous thoughts and continually clarifying the truth to him. But he still tried to interfere with me in many different ways when I went out to study the Fa and to distribute informational materials. He even suggested divorce. When that happened, I discovered my fear to getting mentally hurt. I had treated him as my husband but not as a sentient being. In addition, I was trapped and tacitly acknowledged it. I clearly distinguished that this was not what his true nature wanted to do, that this was the arrangements of the old forces. When my thoughts changed and my mind became steadfast, everything changed. He no longer opposed me. Not only that, he never knew how to do housework before, but now he shares half the load.
When I started to explain the facts of Dafa to my parents-in-law, they had an angry outburst. They tore up all the materials and copies of the "Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party." They even called my parents and threatened them, saying they would report us to the police. They also told me that they were demons on my cultivation path. My mental image of my two kind and smiling in-laws suddenly disappeared completely. I knew clearly that those harsh words from my in-laws were the evil old forces manipulating them behind the scenes to say and do what they did.
Master told us in "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference,"
"It's not that you're cultivating amidst the ordeals they created. Rather, you are to walk your own path well while not acknowledging them, not even acknowledging the elimination of their ordeals' manifestations."
After that, my state of mind became relatively steady. I sent righteous thoughts every day toward my in-laws and eliminated the evil factors that manipulated them. No matter how they behaved, I was unmoved. There was no change, though, even after I did this for several days. When I went home, each day my parents-in-law were both in bed. My mother-in-law groaned; my father-in-law had a heart problem and kept taking his pulse, closed his eyes tightly, and didn't talk to me.. They didn't even eat. My emotions surfaced. Even though I didn't acknowledge all this, why were they like that all the time? My righteous thoughts were too weak when my mind was moved. Resentment, feeling wronged, and even thoughts of wanting to live far away from them and not wanting to return home anymore surfaced, as did the desire to not to take care of them anymore. I knew this was wrong, but I was unable to suppress these thoughts. My mind was not tranquil, even when I read the books.
Master said,
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference" in Essentials for Further Advance II)
I begged Master to give me a hint and help me to enlighten to it, firmly believing that the Fa would certainly enlighten me. I calmed my mind and read the Fa. I read Master's words,
"The community of cultivators has a saying: 'Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master.' Yet some people talk about 'setting up a bodily crucible and furnace to make dan using gathered medicinal herbs' and mind activities, and they consider these very important. Let me tell you that they are not at all important, and it is an attachment if you think too much about them. Aren't you attached to a pursuit if you think too much about it? Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master. It is good enough if you have this wish. It is the master who actually does this, as you are simply unable to do it." ("Lecture One," Zhuan Falun, Translation Version 2000)
The inner meaning of Dafa manifested before me once again. Master also imprinted the inner meaning of "Discarding Attachments" and "Unimpeded" in Hong Yin Volume II on my mind. I knew at once where I have stumbled: "I still harbor emotions and have placed too much emphasis on their manifestation and the results." After I realized this, the matters that weighed on my mind suddenly disintegrated. When I became aware of it, I let it go. Things took a turn for the better right away.
Early in the morning next day my father-in-law came to my home and apologized to me. He again knelt before me, begging me to give up cultivation practice. I was not moved. I treated him with compassion and kept sending constant righteous thoughts and clarifying the truth to him. Right before he left he said to me, "The Communist Party is persecuting you; we also persecuted you. It's not easy the way you have cultivated!"
Keeping up with the Fa-rectification process and following Master to return home
My sales representative job affords me contact with many people. I have treated doing the three things seriously: Fa study and practicing the exercises, sending righteous thoughts, and clarifying the truth. These three things are serious. Like a student needing to finish homework, all assignments must be completed. I cherish every customer who comes to me. I know that this implies a kind of predestine relationship and represents those sentient beings whom the deity wants me to rescue. No matter how far out of the way it seems, each day I contact those I am meant to meet. I did this because I want to know the circumstances in that area: people's attitude toward Dafa and their lack of awareness of truth clarification. I always carry truth clarification materials and a colored ink pen in my bag. During the process of visiting the customers, I distribute materials wherever I go. I write truth clarification messages wherever I can. When there are a lot of people I just sent righteous thoughts to disintegrate the evil factors that might prevent them from knowing the truth of Dafa.
I first read each one of the truth clarification materials I had received carefully, and then I proceeded to screen and categorize them. I distribute different types of materials as appropriate and send righteous thoughts toward all the truth clarification materials. I also communicate with them, asking them to remember Master's Fa-rectification verses and to disintegrate all the evil factors that interfere with all those sentient beings who see them, trying to keep them from knowing the truth of Falun Dafa. At the same time I ask Master to strengthen my efforts, to let every piece of material have its fullest effect.
I had an insight during the process of persuading people to do the "three withdrawals" (withdrawing from the CCP and/or its two youth organizations). As we clarify the facts, no matter how a person reacts, we should remain unmoved. Besides sending righteous thoughts, we must constantly remind ourselves of this: we are clarifying the truth to offer salvation, so that the listener can hear the truth, make a prudent decision, and be rescued. No one should interfere with Dafa practitioners. When I keep this in mind, the results are usually good. When my xinxing reaches the standard, miracles happen automatically.
Master said,
"Its broad and immense, profound inner meaning can only manifest itself to, and be experienced and understood by, practitioners who are at different levels of true cultivation. Only then can one truly see what the Fa is." ( "Broad and Immense" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
When I had written to this point, a recurrent scene appeared in my head: I was like a child of about three or four years old. Master was in front of me, holding my hand and walking forward. I was unwilling to leave what was behind me and kept looking back. When I think over my past cultivation path, isn't this similar? I walked my path, stumbling along. I know I still have many attachments to cultivate away and others I have not yet discovered. However, I firmly believe that I will certainly be able to get rid of them and correct my notions as I cultivate in Dafa. No matter how much time it takes, how far the journey, how dangerous the path, I will follow Master home.
This is only a little bit of my personal understanding. Please kindly and compassionately correct me if I have stated anything improper.
May 10, 2009