(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, esteemed Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I would like to share my cultivation experiences over the past few years with practitioners. I welcome practitioners to point out to me anything improper.
1. Clarifying the Truth and Offering Sentient Beings Salvation
Following my prison release in September 2004, my family opened a small grocery store for me. They wanted to me to stay in the store and at the same time avoid harassment. I couldn't get in touch with fellow practitioners and worried that I couldn't read Master's new articles and Minghui Weekly. All the other practitioners were busy saving people; how could I stay there every day and not do anything? I wanted to go to the Minghui website and make truth-clarification materials. But I didn't have a computer, nor did I then know how to make the materials.
As soon as I had the wish, practitioner A arrived and helped me set up a materials production site, and stayed and helped me with it. I knew Master had arranged everything.
Very soon I learned how to browse the website, download materials, edit articles, print materials and burn VCDs. We not only printed materials for ourselves, but also printed copies of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party for other practitioners. Since we didn't have many materials to make, we had plenty of time to study the Fa and send righteous thoughts every day.
One day in early spring in 2005, many construction workers came to my store. We made a good impression on them. After they finished shopping, they stayed in the store and talked with us. Practitioner A and I wanted to clarify the truth to them. We were initially nervous, but our negative thoughts were quickly removed.
Master has said:
"The old forces don't dare to oppose our clarifying the truth or saving sentient beings. What's key is to not let them take advantage of the gaps in your state of mind when you do things." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
Master's Fa strengthened our righteous thoughts, and gave us confidence and courage while we were clarifying the truth.
We first chatted with the construction workers, spoke of traditional culture and belief, and told them that communism is in opposition to traditional Chinese culture. We also told them the facts about the Tiananmen Square self-immolation hoax and about the beauty of Dafa. In the end, we persuaded them to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). These workers accepted the truth easily.
About forty or fifty workers often came to my store; twenty of them quit the CCP. Although other people didn't quit the CCP, at least they had a positive opinion about Dafa and knew that Falun Dafa is good.
On a rainy day, all the workers took a one-day break. A young man came to my store and called his friends to ask them to go out and have fun together. But his friends didn't have time. I talked with the young man for more than one hour. I started from the staged Tiananmen Square self-immolation. The young man listened to me very carefully. In the end he was very glad to quit the Communist Youth League and the Young Pioneers. One week later he called and told me that his father, mother and sister had all agreed to quit the CCP.
Looking back on those days, practitioner A and I paid great attention to Fa study and sending righteous thoughts. When we encountered problems, we looked at them based on the Fa and cooperated well from the beginning. Unfortunately, this good state didn't last very long. I had a strong ego and often found fault with other practitioners. After practitioner A left my store, she died as a result of the evildoers' persecution.
2. Cultivating in a Group, I Learned How to Look Inward
After practitioner A died, I didn't look inward and did not correct myself in time. For a long time I slacked off in Fa study, in doing the exercises, in sending righteous thoughts and in truth-clarification; my xinxing improved very slowly. I knew my state wasn't right, but I just couldn't cultivate diligently.
Later on I read many articles on the Minghui website and learned that many practitioners in Mainland China had started group study sessions again. I also wanted to form a small group of practitioners to study the Fa together. Group study is the cultivation format that Master has given us. We lost our cultivation environment because of the persecution. Not long after that I located several practitioners and formed a small Fa-study group. We can learn from each other and encourage each other in cultivation in that environment.
Master has said in Zhuan Falun,
"To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments."
When practitioners pointed out my attachments, I should have examined myself according to the Fa in a timely manner. But my enlightenment quality was poor, and I did not want to listen to other practitioners' criticism. By contrast, I never considered their feelings and thought I was better than they were. Practitioner B said to me angrily, "You always talk to other people in an insufferably arrogant manner. If I were not a practitioner, I wouldn't speak to you anymore." But my ego blocked me from having righteous thoughts, and her comments hurt me. Since then I often found fault with practitioner B; and a huge gap was produced between us. I knew there was something wrong with my xinxing, but I couldn't change my thinking processes. At that crucial period, practitioner C helped me solve my problem, based on the Fa.
Once, when practitioner B said something that provoked me, I couldn't let it go for a long time. Then practitioner C said to me with a smile, "Have you thought about it? Maybe that sentence wasn't said by her; maybe it was said by Master." Later on she showed me Master's "Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan" and helped me improve from the Fa's perspective.
After I calmed down and compared myself with the Fa, I was so ashamed. I had always stressed my own point of view. When other practitioners' behavior didn't match my human notions, I felt unhappy about them. I wasn't truly cultivating myself at all. Then I remembered practitioner A.
Before practitioner A died, she confessed that she had kept a relationship with a married man for a long time. All of us were shocked. I was surprised that we had been working together for such a long time, but I didn't even notice she had such a big loophole and never told me about it. At first I thought if she had told us about it earlier, all the practitioners could have helped her eliminate the evil factors in her field. Now I realize that I didn't know how to think of other people at that time. That's why practitioner A wasn't able to open her heart to me. Perhaps my self-centered attitude made her afraid that I may look down on her. If I could have let go of my ego at that time and considered her circumstances, and if we had communicated with each other based on the Fa, perhaps she would still be alive.
I realized that practitioner A and I did, back then, follow the old forces' arrangements. When I compared myself to the Fa, I found many attachments--all from my ego: unwillingness to be criticized, validating myself, showing off, and zealotry. I tried my best to suppress and resist all of these.
As I was printing covers for Shen Yun DVDs, something went wrong with my printer. I turned it on and off several times, but it didn't work. But if I used the printer for other truth-clarification materials, it worked just fine. I realized that there was something wrong with my xinxing, but I didn't find my attachment for a long time. The printer problem persisted the next day. Suddenly I realized that practitioner B had burned the DVDs and I became aware that the gap between practitioner B and myself hadn't been completely filled in, so the old forces took advantage of it. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the gap. After that, my printer worked again.
3. Assisting Master in Fa-rectification and Offering Sentient Beings Salvation
I first cooperated with practitioner D to clarify the truth together on the street. Practitioner D obtained the Fa after I clarified the truth to her and persuaded her to quit the CCP. She had good enlightenment quality. She often compared herself to the Fa when encountering problems. We studied the Fa together frequently and shared our enlightenment in the Fa. I thought Master arranged for practitioner D to come here and help me improve.
The first time we walked along the street for truth clarification, we picked people who looked kindhearted. Finally, we chose a person to clarify the truth to. We spoke with her for a long time, but she just didn't want to quit the CCP. I was worried. Practitioner D then said to me, "I found I have fear. I should send righteous thoughts to eliminate the substance of fear. I don't want it." Then I also looked inward. I found I was attached to saving face and afraid that sentient beings wouldn't listen to me.
We remembered Master's lecture again,
"The old forces don't dare to oppose our clarifying the truth or saving sentient beings. What's key is to not let them take advantage of the gaps in your state of mind when you do things." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
After we had a better understanding of the Fa and improved our xinxing, we clarified the truth with confidence and dignity. Having adjusted our thinking, the effect became much better.
We studied the Fa for two or three hours every morning and sent righteous thoughts before we went out to clarify the truth. We spent approximately four hours clarifying the truth every day. Sometimes if I helped many people quit the CCP, I would develop zealotry and show off. If that happened we had difficulties persuading people to quit the CCP. Then we would become alarmed and start to look inward. After we found the attachments, we sent righteous thoughts to disintegrate them.
Once I clarified the truth to four students. We specifically spoke with a Party member, but she didn't want to quit. I began to dislike her, and her attitude became harsher. Even the other three students who had earlier agreed to quit the CCP no longer wanted to quit. I realized that the old forces took advantage of my attachment. I silently prayed, "Master, I was wrong. I won't let human notions affect me any more."
This experience made me realize that I lacked compassion and found one more attachment: the notion of pursuing mighty virtue. What a bad notion it is! After I found my attachments I sent righteous thoughts to disintegrate them. Prior to each truth-clarification effort, I reminded myself that I am saving people, and I should have a pure heart and mindset.
Now practitioner B has joined us in truth-clarification. Everywhere is a place for us to clarify the truth. At first we only spoke with one person; now we can speak with several people at the same time. We once spoke with nine teenagers. Usually we clarified the truth to college students, workers or farmers. These people are more forthright and sincere; after they understand the truth they agree to quit the CCP.
After a while we developed our own way to clarify the truth, explaining it from different aspects to different people. Elderly people pay great attention to health issues, so we start by telling them how to keep healthy and remain safe. Then we tell them about Dafa and the staged Tiananmen Square self-immolation, and finally persuade them to withdraw from the CCP. For people of the younger generation we often greet them first, and then directly proceed to clarify the truth. With children we often start with the 2008 Wenchuan Earthquake, then tell them how to escape disasters, that Falun Dafa is a Buddha school practice to save people, and that the Tiananmen self-immolation is a hoax. We tell them that if they agree to quit the Young Pioneers and acknowledge that Falun Dafa is good, divine beings will protect them. This way, most people can accept the truth very easily.
Many people who quit the CCP expressed their gratitude for Dafa. Some people immediately exclaimed, "Falun Dafa is good." And they told me if they hear other people say something bad about Dafa they will stop them. Some people didn't only quit the CCP themselves, but also said they would tell their family about it.
I am truly grateful for Master's benevolent salvation, and I thank Master for purifying me with the Fa. I also thank practitioners for their selfless help. From now on I will cooperate well with fellow practitioners, cultivate myself well and save more sentient beings. Heshi!