(Clearwisdom)
Teacher said,
"Whatever you experience during your cultivation--whether good or bad--is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating. "(from To the Chicago Fa Conference )
One day in April 2010, I was told that my daughter had leukemia.
Upon hearing the news, I sat in meditation and sent forth righteous thoughts. I am Master Li Hongzhi's disciple. The cosmos is undergoing Fa-rectification and celestial bodies are being reconstructed. No one is allowed to test me, a Dafa disciple. My daughter knows the truth about Dafa. She has quit the evil Party and has had the mark of the beast removed. She has no relationship with the old forces. It's absolutely not tolerable for anyone to test me, a Dafa disciple, by taking away my daughter's life. No one can decide this. My daughter is a life that belongs to the future universe. Only Teacher can decide her fate. I will eliminate all the lives and elements that interfere with my cultivation, and my daughter's body.
On the following day, my husband and I rushed to the hospital emergency room, where I saw my daughter sitting on a small chair, taking a drip infusion. The room was crowded with patients, but no empty beds were available for patients there. My daughter said she had undergone a dozen tests since her admission to the hospital the previous night, and that the doctors had announced that her illness was critical. I said, "Don't worry. Teacher is here, Dafa is here. Don't be afraid. Recite in your mind sincerely the nine words, 'Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.'" My daughter nodded and held back her tears. After a while, the chief nurse arranged a bed for her. We had stayed in the emergency room for two days, though the doctors said that all the examinations were finished. They also told us that our daughter needed a blood test every two days, and should take medicine, and receive chemotherapy. They said they would find a treatment for my daughter's illness. Since there were many patients in the room where my daughter was, and her infection was very serious, were were asked to rent a place outside of the hospital and wait for the results.
We rented a house near the hospital. I started to look within and reflect on myself, trying to find out what was wrong with me. Such a big thing has happened to me, so it must be closely related to my xinxing. Teacher said that nothing accidental would happen on the path of our cultivation. I looked within and identified some loopholes in my cultivation.
One night I dreamed of a dog trying to bite me. I levitated, so the dog couldn't bite me. But my false teeth fell on the ground. The dog's owner came out of his house and said some ugly words. He was very absurd. At that moment I remembered that I was a practitioner and shouldn't quarrel with others. However, I asked the dog's owner to compensate me for one-half the price of the false teeth. When I woke up, I realized that Teacher had given me a hint that I should give up my attachment to personal interests. I also realized that my daughter's illness was a false appearance. I must rectify myself in Dafa, lay down the attachments to fame, interests and sentimentality, and leave these tribulations behind.
Two weeks later, three experts gave us two treatment options for my daughter. One was to receive bone marrow transplantation. The total medical cost would be 300 thousand to 600 thousand yuan. The other one was to take imported medicine, which was 200 yuan per pill (she needed to take four pills per day), so the total cost would have been 24 thousand yuan per month. Moreover, this kind of medicine was not within the scope of any reimbursement. Once our daughter began taking this medication, she would need to take it for the rest of her life. Upon hearing the doctors' diagnosis, my daughter couldn't help but to cry, and my husband was quite depressed. He said to himself, "Oh, my god. How can I get so much money? What shall I do?" I tried my best to comfort my daughter. Meanwhile, I started sending righteous thoughts, "No one can decide on this. Only Teacher has the final say."
When we returned to our living place, we felt like the heaven had collapsed. It was especially difficult for my daughter when her co-workers and classmates called in to ask about her illness. I persuaded her to stop crying and start reciting the Fa. We have Teacher and Dafa, so miraculous things could happen. Finally it became dark and my daughter fell asleep. After a while, she awakened and started crying again. I really felt tremendous heartache at that moment, and it seemed like my daughter was going to leave me forever. Suddenly a thought surfaced in my mind: "I cannot be affected. How could I be manipulated like this?" Teacher said,
"Under trying circumstances of any type, you must all keep steady in thought. Just by staying unaffected you will be able to handle all situations. "(from Teaching the Fa at the Conference in the Midwest-U.S. )
Thinking of Teacher's Fa, I suddenly realized that I couldn't be affected, and meanwhile, I knew that the old forces were taking advantage of my sentimentality towards my daughter and causing her to cry. By doing so, the old forces were attempting to shake my heart and pull me down.
Teacher said,
"It is hard in that you knowingly lose your vested interests among everyday people. Amidst your critical self-interests, are you moved? Amidst interpersonal mindgames, are you moved? When your friends or family suffer, are you moved? How do you weigh them? This is how difficult it is to be a practitioner! "(from Lecture 8, Zhuan Falun)
Cultivation practice must take place through tribulations so as to test whether you can part with and care less about different kinds of human sentimentality and desires. If you are attached to these things, you will not succeed in cultivation. (from Lecture 4, Zhuan Falun)
I also thought of Teacher's Fa,
"In any case, a cultivator must look at things as a cultivator should and with the mind of a cultivator, and absolutely cannot look at things with the mind of an ordinary person." (from Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles)
As I was clear-minded from the perspective of the Fa, I no longer felt bad. Instead, I felt that the heavens were clear and my cosmic body was transparent. My daughter also stopped crying.
From then on, I rectified every thought and action of mine according to the Fa. Whenever a bad thought surfaced, I disregarded and suppressed it, or wished it to be assimilated to the Fa if possible. At the same time, I took good care of my daughter and helped her to memorize Hong Yin.
Teacher's hints made me more firm in my belief in Teacher and the Fa. Gradually I could treat my daughter's illness with righteous thoughts. I really came to realize how important every single thought was.
One morning when I was sending righteous thoughts at 6 o'clock, an idea came to my mind: Let my daughter practice Falun Gong. After I finished sending righteous thoughts, I talked to my husband, "Let's ask our daughter to practice Falun Gong." He said, "Yes. Why did we forget this? We are really muddle-headed. Yes. Let's practice together." My daughter said, "OK. Let's start."
As such, my daughter and husband walked on the path of cultivation. We studied the Fa, sent righteous thoughts and practiced Falun Gong exercises together every day.
Half a month later my daughter stopped taking medicine and threw away the remainder of the medicine, an amount that was approximately worth 20 thousand yuan. Her health was continuing to improve on a daily basis. Her face also turned from gray-white to reddish-white. My husband's illnesses in his stomach and back also disappeared. Under Teacher's compassionate protection, we walked out of the tribulations. In September, my daughter went back to work.
Dear fellow practitioners: In the process of cultivation, we must look within no matter what tribulations we encounter. We should treat tribulations with righteous thoughts. We must not be trapped in tribulations and try to figure out answers within them. We should be determined and keep righteous thoughts while in tribulations, remove our demonic side and enrich our Buddha nature. Finally, let's melt into the Fa, break through the tribulations along the way, accomplish our prehistoric vows and return home with Teacher.
The above is my personal understanding. Please compassionately point it out anything inappropriate.