(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner from China's western region. I was imprisoned for five years, without any Falun Dafa materials or access to other people. It was as if I were isolated in a mountain cave.
Protected in the Dark of Night
A prison guard once said sarcastically, “Does your Teacher know that you are in this corner of the world?” I understood clearly that the evil's intention was to destroy my willpower, because what she said really hit a sore spot. I was surrounded by darkness, and I wasn't permitted to study the Fa. When I was hit with the thought of having left the true path in the past, I felt that I had committed a big sin. These thoughts still haunt me today. I vaguely remembered that Teacher said that loneliness was the most difficult tribulation. I dreamed many times that I was looking for Falun Dafa books and lectures, and that I was begging Teacher with tears in my eyes.
One night I heard a loud voice in my dream, “Love your enemy—are you willing to do it and do you dare to do it?” After waking up, I thought, “If I'm not willing, it's like I don't want to sacrifice anything. If I don't dare, it's like I'm afraid of losing something. Is that not the same as selfishness?” I knew I should completely separate myself from the selfishness of the old universe.
I was fired from my job after being released, so I went back to my remote village, where there have been no practitioners since the CCP started to persecute Falun Gong in July 20, 1999. It was really difficult to tell people about Falun Dafa and the persecution. My relatives were under a lot of pressure because villagers were scared of listening to the facts about Falun Dafa. Since I hadn't studied the Fa for many years, it was tough going. Some villager informed on me, and I was arrested and taken to the local detention center. My relatives were so scared that they shunned me. Faced with such adversity, I began to wonder as to what went wrong, because I didn't believe that Teacher had arranged this. Where did I go wrong?
Teacher made arrangements so that I could meet up with fellow practitioners. Gradually, I began to understand the Falun Dafa principles better after I resumed studying the Fa. I was certain that I was Master's disciple and not here to be persecuted. I am here to assist Teacher with the Fa-rectification and to save sentient beings. I should save people that I come across. The relationship between us is that they are to be saved and I'm saving them. This is my responsibility.
On October 1, I took my child to the farmers' market to pass out information about Falun Gong. Again someone called the police. While I was standing in front of a small stall, I said in my mind, “Escape into another dimension.” The police vehicle drove off. We immediately went back to the village without any problem. I gave my last flyer to a villager by the roadside. At this moment, a young person on a motorcycle hit my child. Instantly I thought, “My child should not get hurt!” That young fellow seemed as if he wanted to escape, acting irresponsibly, without even saying sorry. So, I told him, “You hit a person. At least you should stop and apologize for what you did!” He stopped and asked if my child was hurt. I responded, “He's okay, you can go now.” Of course, my child was okay, and I knew that the evil elements were trying to harm me through my child, because they were scared.
Soon after we returned home, the police came to arrest me. I took off, and they couldn't find me. They called together a team and searched for me around the clock for several days. They searched every house in my area. They even threw firecrackers onto the grass, bushes, trees, and the farmland in case I was hiding there. They drove back and forth on highways on their motorcycles. I sat in a hideout thinking, “Teacher, sentient beings in this area need to be saved, I won't leave!” They finally left after disturbing everyone in the area.
One day after midnight, someone was pounding on my door. I jumped out of my bed and dashed to the attic, with police close behind. I lay near the farm tools and said in my mind, “Teacher, please save me!” The police shined lights straight at me but still couldn't see me. They said, “Nobody is there!” Then they left. With tears running down my face, I kept repeating, “Thank you Teacher! Thank you Teacher! Thank you Teacher!”
Clarifying the Facts in the Midst of Tribulations
I did not look within to find my loopholes after this incident. So, before long, I was arrested and taken to a detention center. I said in my mind, “Teacher, whatever your arrangement is for me, my job is to save people.” Thus, my mind was at peace. I studied the Fa, did the exercises, sent forth righteous thoughts, and clarified the facts to whomever I came across. They were going to transfer me. While waiting, I dried out my teacup and used the tealeaves to spell “Falun Dafa is good” on the table. When getting on the train, I said with a smile to the train conductor, “Falun Dafa is good.” I said “Falun Dafa is good” to everyone there that I came into contact with.
After a two-day, tiring train ride, we arrived at our destination. The police there warmly shook my hand and put me up in a hostel, despite objections from the police that escorted me. I thought of Teacher telling us how to control the wicked beings. Therefore, I sent out strong righteous thoughts. The two policemen ended up quarreling over how to deal with me.
I had the opportunity to meet some people there, with one being the education chief. He said, “I know Falun Gong is good, but the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) gives me an official position along with money and a car.” I realized that he was under the control of the evil CCP spirits, so I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate the evil spirits that controlled him. Then he sighed, “What I don't understand is, no matter how hard I work, I remain the chief of education and nothing more.” Immediately I said, “Of course, there's a standard for being a high official of the CCP. Look at what Jiang Zemin did. Look at how he has lied his way to the top, murdered innocent people like those student democracy activists and Falun Gong practitioners, and how he sold away China's land to Russia. In this kind of environment, the best way to get to the top is to ignore your conscience.” He was silent for a while, and then broke out into hearty laughter. To make the story short, I returned home after ten days.
After returning home, I went immediately to the police station. At the front gate, I bumped into the police officer who had arrested me. He ran to the police chief's office, hollering, “Chief, she's back!” The chief asked, “Who's back?” He answered, “Falun Gong!” As they were exchanging words, I arrived at the chief's office. He only looked at me sheepishly.
Eliminating Attachment to Selfishness
At the time, I had concealed attachments to being excited, showing off and dependency on others. It took me a long time to figure this one out.
Once again I was arrested. In the detention center, I kept repeating, “Falun Dafa is good.” However, I was still there after more than a month and was then transferred to a forced labor camp. I again thought, as long as I yell “Falun Dafa is good,” they wouldn't dare accept me. However, I was wrong. I was confined and isolated. I still strongly believed that a miracle would happen as long as I sincerely recited “Falun Dafa is good.” I shouted “Falun Dafa is good,” and they taped my mouth shut. When I wrote “Falun Dafa is good,” they bound and beat me. I was perplexed by why this was happening.
One morning I heard one of the inmates asking another inmate, “Does your arm hurt?” She quietly rolled up her sleeve, showing her swollen arm. The one who asked cried out in alarm, “I knew whoever beat you would give you a swollen arm. They're both swollen!” After hearing this, my eyes welled up with tears. “They're the ones who have been the most persecuted. I only thought of getting out—what a terrible attachment I still held on to.” When I recited, “Falun Dafa is good,” I was doing it to escape for my own sake, which was disrespectful to Dafa and not what I was meant to do.
Teacher said:
"Some people talk about developing supernormal abilities through practicing qigong. In fact, supernormal abilities are not developed; instead, they are human inborn capabilities. It is only that with the progress of human society, people focus more on the tangible things of our physical world, thus becoming more dependent upon our modern tools. Consequently, our human inborn capabilities are becoming more degenerated. In the end, they are made to disappear completely." (Zhuan Falun)
The attachment of depending on others makes our inborn capabilities disappear. This type of attachment will make practitioners forget to cultivate. How can our cultivation be successful if we depend upon Teacher to solve everything for us and just hope for shortcuts? I found the selfishness within myself. When thinking about how the old forces, for the sake of saving themselves, have caused a great disaster, I was terrified by the thought of doing something akin to that.
At that moment, I realized that I am here on earth for the sake of eliminating evil and saving people. Wasn't it a great opportunity to be where I was, able to destroy the evil?
One day, a few fellow practitioners sent forth strong righteous thoughts as inmates were reading anti-Dafa books. We were trying to save them, and we also told them that they should not read those kinds of books because they're not good for them. We kept sending forth righteous thoughts until some of them began behaving erratically for a bit, and then calmed down and put down those books. It was obvious to us that the evil spirits controlling them had been cleared away.
It didn't take long before I was told to pack up and go home!
