(Clearwisdom.net) I have felt in recent years that I am not in the right state when sending forth righteous thoughts, therefore I have gradually relaxed my efforts. It was actually because I was limiting myself by my notion that "seeing is believing." This notion is only a principle in the human world. Everyday people do things based on a purpose. If they can't foresee a result and obtain benefits, they won't do it. Human beings are just like that, self-protecting and self-centered. Because I was interfered with by the illusion of "seeing is believing," and I was very lazy about studying the Fa and practicing the exercises, when I wanted to do well, the evil took advantage of my loopholes, resulting in my making mistakes often. The more often I made mistakes, the more self-condemning I became, thinking that Master wouldn't take care of me because I had already dropped down. Therefore, I did the three things poorly and was under enormous mental pressure that made me feel that I had come to my limit of endurance.
I went to a fellow practitioner's workplace one day to take care of some affairs, and happened to be there for sending forth righteous thoughts, so we did it together. This practitioner suddenly said afterward, "I felt very good while sending forth righteous thoughts. It was very peaceful and great." I thought in my heart at that time, "I just did it as mere posturing. This fellow practitioner does really well, but it seems that it's not related to me." Unexpectedly, this practitioner again suddenly said, "I saw that you did very well. Your energy field is full of color. One level is filled with red light and another is in bright blue." Surprised, I immediately understood that Master was encouraging me through this fellow practitioner in order to stop me from declining further. I felt a warm current in my heart immediately, and I realized that I didn't believe strongly enough in Master and Dafa. I had been blocked by this notion of "seeing is believing." I felt ashamed in the face of Master's salvation.
I once read a story about Christianity. It was about Jesus resurrecting and appearing in front of his disciples three days after his crucifiction. Some disciples believed Jesus had genuinely resurrected and that it wasn't just an apparition, but one disciple insisted on seeing Jesus in person, and also wanted to touch the wounds caused by the nails and spear. Jesus let this disciple actually see his injured body, and this disciple then believed this truth. But Jesus told him that those who didn't see him but still believed in him would have greater fortune.
In comparing myself with that story, I saw that my enlightenment quality is very poor. I should totally get rid of the notion that seeing is believing and should have the righteous thoughts of a cultivator. Master told us in "Why One Cannot See,"
"'Seeing is believing; no seeing, no believing.' This is the view of an inferior person. Humans are lost in illusion and have generated a lot of karma. How could they see, with their original nature obscured? Enlightening comes before seeing. Cultivate your mind and eliminate your karma. Once your original nature comes forth you will be able to see. Yet, with or without seeing, an exceptional person can depend on his enlightening to reach Consummation. People may or may not see, and this is determined by their levels and their inborn quality. The reason most cultivators do not see is because they pursue seeing, which is an attachment. Thus, until it is given up he will not see." (Essentials for Further Advancement)
From now on, I must work on eliminating the notion that seeing is believing and follow Master's words to correctly send forth righteous thoughts.
Category: Improving Oneself
