(Clearwisdom.net) I recently noticed that I have developed strong sentimentality toward one of my fellow practitioners, and I missed her when we didn't each other for a while. Every time she came to visit me, I shared my best food with her, and she sometimes brought along some delicious food too. It made me happy being with her, as I felt that I was loved by my elders. Every time she left, I was reluctant to part company, and said, "Please come back soon!" I knew it wasn't right to say things like that, but I couldn't help myself.
When I heard her knock at the door, I was so happy. In no time I started telling her some of the things on my mind. One time, while I was talking, I didn't realize that my happiness kept growing. Immediately, the thing that I was doing at the time went wrong. This repeated itself a couple of times, but I didn't realize why, and just thought it was a coincidence. I eventually had to stop what I was doing and move to another room before we could continue our conversation.
When we sat looking at each other, I felt some kind of hazy stuff floating between us. I was astonished that there was so much substance of sentimentality in our energy fields. But I didn't say anything to her about this. I left the room to get some tangerines for her to eat, and I returned to find she had her coat on, ready to leave. I suddenly had a lost feeling.
When the practitioner left, I started looking within as to why I felt lost. Surely the purpose of interacting with fellow practitioners is to validate the Fa and save sentiment beings. Why was I so reluctant to part company with her, and why did I feel sad? It was because I added human thinking into our relationship and made the environment impure.
This practitioner is many years older than me. Even though I call her "auntie," I have never considered her as my elder. I only considered her my best friend. Whenever I encountered a hardship or tribulation, she would be the first person I thought of. I would say to myself, "Why hasn't this practitioner come yet? It would be great if she was here." I developed a strong dependency on her, wanted to talk to her, and wanted her to help me enlighten to the Fa's principles.
Since then, whenever I have been troubled with certain hardships, Master would always arrange different practitioners to come to help me. It is truly the Fa which unties the knots and uplifts me! How could I put human sentimentality before the Fa? I didn't just have sentimentality toward this practitioner, I adored her. I felt that she was the best cultivator among the practitioners I knew, and that most of the time, she acted in accordance with the standard of the Fa. Whenever anything came up, I thought of her first and wanted to get her opinion. This is an example of following people and not the Fa.
If I didn't look within this time, it might have been difficult for me to realize this, because it was hidden deep down. From now on, I shall be strict with myself. I need to be responsible both to myself and to my fellow practitioners. I shouldn't look at her with a human mindset. I shall move forward diligently with her as we both cultivate in the Fa.