(Clearwisdom.net) Before I began practicing Falun Dafa, I was full of resentment and internal suffering. I felt that everyone took advantage of me, I wondered why my life was so miserable (particularly after my mother passed away), and I felt sorry for myself.
After three sorrowful years, I felt like I was drifting through life with no hope. I got married at age 35, hoping that this would bring some improvement to my life. I was deeply disappointed, as my husband was very selfish, did not know how to take care of others, and looked at others' wives who cared tenderly for their husbands, so I felt that this was even more unfair. We quarreled constantly, particularly about whether to have children or not (I did not want any children because of my age and financial limitations). My husband told me: "I will divorce you if you do not want to have children." My in-laws all objected to my concerns, and I was completely unhappy in these circumstances. I did not want to talk to anyone and was almost homebound. I wanted to find a quiet place for myself, but lost my temper frequently, and my husband did not care for me at all.
In 2007 I happened to meet one of my friends, who asked me whether I had quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. I told her, "I've wanted to do this for awhile; someone told me that writing a statement and posting it in a public area would be sufficient. I've had the statement in my bag for a long time but was afraid to post it outside. It is great that you can help me today. I will quit the CCP with my real name!" Gradually, I began the path of Dafa cultivation.
Through studying the teachings of Falun Dafa, I suddenly understood things; I felt a happiness that I'd never experienced before - it was as if the entire world had become brighter. I was no longer upset when my husband treated me poorly. Teacher tells us to be selfless, so whenever there was a problem, I looked inward first, and usually found that it was actually me that did not do well. When I did household chores before, I thought it unfair that my husband was very lazy, and didn't help with anything. After studying the Fa, I stopped complaining, and no longer argued with him when he lost his temper. I maintained a compassionate mentality, solved the problem according to Falun Dafa, and things changed. My husband began to do chores and went shopping, which saved me a lot of time to study the teachings.
My husband was deceived by the CCP propaganda and did not understand Dafa. When I first began practicing Dafa, it was difficult to clarify the truth to him, as he simply would not listen. When I studied the Falun Dafa teachings, he would turn the TV up really loud to interfere with me. He stopped me from exercising in the morning, so I moved to exercise in the kitchen. Teacher told us to explain the facts about Falun Dafa with wisdom, so I thought that I should change myself first: "Let me be a better person, then use my actions to validate the Fa." That winter, my father-in-law was hospitalized for surgery, and I took care of him day and night. The physician and other patients thought that I was his daughter, and my mother-in-law was quite moved.
When I got married and before practicing Dafa, I thought that living by the current laws was too complicated, and that I couldn't live as freely as I wished. As our parents aged and their health started to fail, they needed help. After I began practicing Dafa, I discussed with my husband that we should move in and live with them in order to take care of them. My father-in-law suffered a stroke and could not get about very well; his gastrointestinal system was not working properly, and he had diarrhea often. I helped to clean things up whenever he had an accident. I tried to prepare the food that they liked whenever I had the opportunity and tried my best to take good care of them. My mother-in-law broke her leg last November and needed surgery, so I took care of her at night, made meals for my husband and father-in-law during the day, and took meals to my mother-in-law in the hospital. I went between the hospital and home at least three times a day.
My husband's brother and wife didn't want to take care of his mother, so my husband had to take care of our store, hoping that his brother would help out and keep him from getting too tired. I persuaded him: "It is a perfectly justified duty for us to take care of the elderly. Don't be upset with your brother. I can handle it myself, and I'm not tired." My mother-in-law's surgery went smoothly, and she recovered quickly under my tender care; she was almost able to walk. One night, she suddenly lost her temper and said many things that hurt my feelings. My husband was very upset and said, "She is the only kind person in our family and you hurt her like this? Fine, ask your other son to take care of you tomorrow." I tried my best to handle this and told her, "After I married your son, I tried my best to take care of both of you - how can you say things like this to me?" I left the hospital and cried my way home; I felt wronged.
My husband came back and told me, "You take care of the store tomorrow, I will take care of Mother with my brother; if we do not do it this way, she will not understand who is truly treating her well." After two days, I told my husband, "Mother is the elder member of our family, and I need to see her. It was my fault, so I should not complain about her. She must be upset because she's been stuck in the hospital for so long; she did not do this deliberately to hurt me." My husband sighed with emotion and said, "You're right. Whether you go visit her or not, you have such a good heart." I replied, "I am a cultivator, and Teacher asked us to be selfless individuals. Yet according to the Fa, I still have a long way to go." When I went to visit my mother-in-law, she apologized before I could even open my mouth. I told her that it was my fault and that I shouldn't have talked back to her. "My Teacher told us not to fight back when we are beaten or sworn at." The family conflict vanished into thin air. My mother-in-law has already finished her first reading of Zhuan Falun, and has read Teacher's "Lecture in Sydney" often. She stated that the more she read, the more she liked to read. My father-in-law had a stroke, which slightly affected his brain functioning, and his memory was compromised. I told him to repeat, "Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good." He repeated this out loud, and when he forgot the words, he asked his wife immediately. One day, he wrote the sentence down and read it rather loudly. My husband and mother-in-law both told him to speak quietly, so as not to let the neighbor hear. He said, "I don't know how to speak quietly, I can only read and speak loudly. I could not sleep before and had to take medicine, but after I say the sentence, I can sleep well and no longer need medicine." He looked better.
My husband observed my words and deeds and knows that it was Dafa that changed me. I have a happy family now. He changed his view of Dafa and also quit the CCP and its youth organizations. He supports me in attending group study of the Falun Dafa teachings and does as many chores as he can. Whenever conflicts surface, he even smiles and says to look inward! I truly understand the meaning of "The Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities." (Zhuan Falun)
Category: Improving Oneself
