(Clearwisdom.net) At the end of last year, practitioners in our area bought a few cell phones so that we could use them to call people to tell them the facts about Dafa. I once had a conversation that lasted over an hour and resulted in my being followed by the authorities. Luckily I escaped later with Teacher's help.
After getting home, I looked inward. I found that staying in one location for too long is unwise, and one would not do that if one's righteous thoughts were strong. When we shared our experiences, Practitioner A said that we should not rush to get out; rather, we should stay home, calm down and study the Fa, and find our deficiencies and attachments, so that the evil could not take advantage of our loopholes. Hearing her say that made me agitated and my tone became unfriendly. I said that it might be a test for us to get rid of our attachment to fear. "Who will be happy if we don't go out? It will be the old forces. They did all they could to interfere with us but nothing really happened. We should by no means be affected by it."
Later, I went out to call people with Practitioner B. We brought posters and pamphlets with us. Sometimes we rode motorbikes as far as 30 km round trip (not including the part that we were on foot). Sometimes the batteries would run down and we would have to peddle the bikes. Sometimes we went out twice a day. But my state began to decline. It was not as good and I kept experiencing interference. I lost things, fell off the bicycle, and had a collision (though I was not hurt). In discussing this with fellow practitioners, I found that I truly needed to look inward for the root cause to find out what had I done wrong. I needed to calm down to study the Fa and look inward, so I could see which attachments the old forces were exploiting.
Teacher told us:
"The old forces don't dare to oppose our clarifying the truth or saving sentient beings. What's key is to not let them take advantage of the gaps in your state of mind when you do things." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
Looking inward, I found that it was because my mindset was not righteous that I faced interference by the old forces. During that period, my attachments were especially strong. I always felt something was wrong. I looked down on others and tried to validate myself. I felt that Practitioner A had an attachment to fear and did not cooperate with me, while I, on the other hand, had cultivated away all attachment to fear. I felt I was much better and wanted to show off.
"As for you, who are Dafa disciples, you shouldn't focus on the coordinators, but instead, focus completely on yourselves and on how to cooperate well, do things well, and finish what you are supposed to do." ("Be More Diligent")
I was focused on other people, I did not cultivate myself, and I insisted on my righteousness. I was attached to complaining, showing-off, fighting, and competing. With so many attachments, how could I not be taken advantage of by the evil? Now that I have found my attachments, I will cultivate them away as quickly as I can, study the Fa harder, and do the three things well with righteous thoughts.
My level is limited. Please point out my deficiencies.
Category: Improving Oneself
