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Tribulations with Family Members Are a Reflection of Our Cultivation State

Jan. 8, 2011 |   By Guizhen, a practitioner from Hebei, China

(Clearwisdom.net) I had poor health since childhood, but I did not start practicing Falun Dafa to cure my illnesses. The first time I read Zhuan Falun, I strongly believed in its principles. I was brought up to believe in God and Buddha, and I knew that this practice would enable me to reach consummation in cultivation. I was not like other practitioners who firmly believed that Dafa was hard to come by and that we should vigorously advance in cultivation. I just did it step by step and did not feel the sense of urgency.

I have been actively telling people the facts about Falun Dafa, but always felt that my state of mind was not correct. During this period, my husband changed from agreeing with Dafa to rejecting it and even got furious when he heard me mention “Dafa is good.” I was very confused. Sentient beings have all come for this Fa, and my husband should have a correct understanding of Dafa to have a good future. His new attitude towards Dafa was indeed a worry.

I bought a computer earlier this year to be used for clarifying the facts, but my husband took control of it every day to play on it after work. He did not talk to me, but was quite happy to chat with women on the Internet. He once wrote on there that he had an unhappy marriage and lived an unhappy life. When I saw that, I was shocked. My husband no longer shared his thoughts with me and would rather find someone else to pour out his feelings to. Jealousy, sentimentality, and anger overcame me. I could not restrain myself and quarreled with him. He said that if it were not for the children, he would divorce me. Although I thought that the matter had not gotten that serious, I came to realize that it had. I had to improve myself with compassion and from the Fa to resolve the differences between my husband and me, so that his life could be saved.

When I was quietly examining my own inadequacies, I noticed I usually spoke to husband in an accusing tone. Since I had been influenced by the Party culture, I always wanted to overpower him and believed that he always had to listen to me. I always thought I was better than he. My husband treated me very well before I practiced cultivation, and I used to enjoy being head of the family. Sometimes I did not show my appreciation for his hard work for the family and did not empathize with his situation. Due to the persecution, my husband also suffered emotionally. Using his words, he “lived in fear all day.” When I found my own inadequacies, I quietly cared for him in his daily life. My manner and tone of voice become much softer. When he chatted with other women on the Internet, I was upset but refrained from losing my temper and did not start fighting over ordinary people's things. I was able to let go of one of my big attachments—to seeking ordinary people's happiness. The old forces created this destructive test for me because I had not previously abandoned this attachment through cultivation.

If a practitioner has an attachment to happiness, anger, loss, or gain, then they will be unable to position correctly the relationship between ordinary people and practitioners. This will make the situation become more intense and complicated. If practitioners can tolerate the faults of others and view these as opportunities to relinquish their own attachments, then we can make a firm and determined effort to eliminate them. With Master's compassion, and with the power of the Fa, they can be removed. A fellow practitioner once said, “Forgiving others is the process of letting go of oneself. Cultivating is the process of gradually achieving selflessness and altruism and thinking of others instead of oneself.” This is a transformational process where our old life in the old universe moves to a new life in the new universe.

My husband has gradually returned to the righteous path and does not chat on the Internet anymore. When I sometimes talk to him about Falun Gong, he does not have an intense reaction, and when he talks to other people about me, he says that I am a good person.