(Clearwisdom.net) As Dafa practitioners in the Fa-Rectification period, we all know that we have to do well the Three Things Master expects of us. However, I always thought, “As long as I do these three things well—distribute flyers, persuade others to withdraw from the Party, etc.—I will be able to return home with Master at the end of the Fa-Rectification period.” Recently, I searched inside and realized that I was nevertheless very far from meeting Master's requirements. For instance, I always felt like I was more or less diligent since I've been doing many activities to validate the Fa. However, after seeing a video of myself doing the exercises, I immediately felt ashamed.
My wife, who is also a practitioner, and I would always doze off or our hands would droop when we did the exercises and sent righteous thoughts. In Zhuan Falun, Master told us: “However, you should not fall asleep or lose consciousness, otherwise good things might be practiced by someone else.” (Lecture Eight) I was always very anxious, because I couldn't see what I looked like. But I could see clearly how my wife fell asleep and her hands fell down. I would shout at her, but sometimes, soon after I shouted at her, I dozed off myself. Wasn't this cultivating for nothing?
One day I readied my cell phone and said that if we saw each other sleeping, we would record it and show the video to each other. Sometimes, my wife would fall asleep and her head would tilt to the extent that it was horizontal, and her palm was facing down. When I called to her and she opened her eyes, she would immediately lift up her head and palm. As for me, I felt that I only lost consciousness for a few seconds. However, when we saw each other's videos, we were shocked. We could see exactly how we looked when we fell asleep. When doing the fifth exercise, our palms would fall down, when sending righteous thoughts my palm moved like fanning a fan. Both of us were stunned.
In the early days of the persecution, the old forces wanted to kill me, and I couldn't sleep for over a year. I was tortured to the brink of death. Back then, whenever I saw someone fall asleep, I would be very envious. I once thought, “How blissful I would be if I could sleep like that one day!” If the evil forces were trying to use that thought to control me, now, when I have returned to normal sleep routines and am steadfastly cultivating Dafa, I would not acknowledge it at all. We often say that we want to cause Master less worry and less trouble. In that state of cultivation, no matter how much Dafa work I did, I wouldn't be able to return home with Master. Master could only be anxious for us! Today, nearing the end of Fa-rectification, we should be more motivated, study the Fa more and study the Fa well, and send righteous thoughts to eliminate all evil factors in our field, so as to walk the path that Master has arranged for us.
I sat down and studied the Fa quietly for three days. I studied it clearly with my Primordial Spirit. Master said,
“You fall asleep while studying the Fa, you fall asleep while reading the book, you also fall asleep while doing the exercises. You haven’t even broken through the beginning stage yet. It’s about willpower!” (Teaching the Fa at the Assistants' Fa Conference in Changchun)
“Your path is, and I think you've all seen this now, actually very narrow. If you deviate just a little bit you won't measure up to the standard of a Dafa disciple.” (“Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference”)
In light of Master's teachings, I was utterly ashamed of myself!
For a few days now, after sending righteous thoughts at midnight, I have asked Master quietly in my heart to help me wake up in time to do the exercises the following morning and to strengthen me. The following morning, even before the alarm rings, I am already awake. Unlike in the past when I was falling asleep, my legs don't hurt at all when doing the fifth exercise and an hour passes very quickly. Master is saving our Primordial Spirit. If you fall asleep, then no one can help you. Over the past few days, my wife and I have kept our eyes open at first and supervised each other. The pain started coming back again as soon as we began practicing with our Primordial Spirits. We believe that, with Master's strengthening and our studying the Fa well, we will definitely be able to cultivate ourselves well, save more beings, and return to Consummation with Master.