(Clearwisdom.net) Before I joined the group to call Mainland China and tell Chinese the truth about Falun Gong, my cultivation had reached a very low level. I allowed my human notions to lead me, and as a result, the path I walked on became narrower and narrower. However, after Master arranged for me to participate in the phone project, I began to adjust my cultivation state. Once while listening to a recording of a fellow practitioner’s phone call to mainland China, I saw many of my notions, as well as the gap between me and other practitioners. That event triggered my desire to join the phone team.
Eliminating attachments while participating in making phone calls to China
Before joining the phone team, I had strong attachment to fear. Therefore, at the beginning of the project, that attachment surfaced even more. To break through that attachment, I strengthened my righteous thoughts every day before making phone calls.
All kinds of challenges can take place while calling, nonetheless, I believe those challenges were there to test my righteous thoughts and how I deal with different situations. On the third day, I called a police woman. As soon as she heard me clarifying the truth about Dafa, she began to yell profanities at me. At that moment, I suddenly heard Master’s voice,
"What could human beings possibly do to gods? If there were no outside factors, would humans dare to do anything to gods? ("In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human," 2004)
Hearing these words, I felt that I was a divine being, and I calmed down; I became very peaceful, and I knew that some of the substances of my fear had been eliminated.
At the very beginning, sometimes someone would tell me that I was bothering them by calling. My mood was easily influenced because I believed that they were right. One day a policewoman told me that I interrupted her nap and then hung up. I could not gather enough courage to call her again. A fellow practitioner encouraged me to call her again. I searched inside and saw that I had not let go of myself. I called her back, and although she did not pick up, I broke through my own human notion. As I made more phone calls, my fears weakened, and my righteous thoughts were strengthened.
The attachment of competition appeared the strongest when I clarified the truth to Chinese on the phone. Clarifying the truth on the phone gave me the opportunity to see my attachment of competition, which was easily stirred up when the person I called held a negative attitude towards me. Master used all kinds of methods to help me eliminate my attachment to competition, however, I did not understand the hints that Master sent me because I believed that I did not need to be friendly, but wanted to frighten the persecutors.
One day I called the office manager of a 610 Office. My attachment of competition arose which caused me to get into an argument with him. In the end, neither one of us was happy. That evening, a fellow practitioner from Taiwan shared her experience of when she called someone and it woke up the person's child. Then, that person’s negative factors were instigated and he said that he wanted to arrest Dafa practitioners. After reading about that, I responded that if I were her, I would tell that person not to get involved in the persecution of Falun Gong practitioners, because if they did, the international community would not let them get by so easily. Another fellow practitioner responded that if a small child was awakened by us, we should apologize to them. We should demonstrate our compassion to ordinary people, and after that, we could go ahead and tell them the truth. After reading that response, I felt very uncomfortable because my attachments to fame and reputation were hurt. Recalling the argument I had with the person on the phone that afternoon, I knew that Master once again used that opportunity to help me eliminate my attachment to competition.
When I called the next day, Master arranged for predestined people to talk to me. A family member of a prison guard answered the phone, and even encouraged me. Eventually that person listened to the truth about Falun Gong, and also quit the Party's organizations. I was thrilled that I did not get into any conflicts with that person; however, I noticed that I was afraid of offending the listener, so I failed to describe clearly the responsibilities shouldered by those who are involved in the persecution.
As I continued to cultivate, I found out that behind my fear of offending and avoiding conflicts with people while talking on the phone, was actually the attachment of selfishness. Not telling people the truth about Falun Gong was not truly compassionate. One day before calling, I told myself to control my xinxing to avoid having conflicts with the listener. After sending-forth righteous thoughts for 15 minutes, I suddenly remembered that Master told us in “Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Vancouver, Canada” (2003):
"Actually, you know, be it Buddha Shakyamuni or some other God or Buddha, they know the thoughts of even cattle and horses, and they know the thoughts of even lower beings, they know it all, and fully, but they won't go inside there. They just know everything, that's all."
I realized that there was no need for me to empathize with what they might say; their comments should not affect me. At that moment, I became tranquil and calm. Consequently, when I talked to people on the phone again, I was more peaceful and patient. After my heart became righteous, my environment was also corrected, and all my phone calls that day went well; some listened to me for a long time. In the course of nine months, my attachment to competition had been lessened, piece by piece, while I clarified the truth on the phone.
Breaking through notions, experiencing divine mercy and dignity
In clarifying the truth to the people who worked for the agencies that directly participated in the persecution of Falun Gong practitioners, sometimes I found it difficult to balance being compassionate with the listeners and how much righteous strength I should use to shock those who were vicious. When I showed them my sentimental side, it seemed they used their hypocritical notions to deceive me. If I was not confident, they blamed me for harassing them; if I had fear, they told me that they would arrest me; if I wanted to compete with them, they would appear irrational. Everything occurred because I still had a human heart. I deeply realized that I must eliminate approaching this with a human heart and cultivate well so that I would gain more wisdom, compassion and dignity. Only by doing so could I offer salvation to people.
When I first joined the phone team, I conveyed “compassionate” thoughts to the listeners hoping that, in return, they would listen to me telling them the truth. Gradually, I saw my selfishness in daring not to irritate them because I wanted to protect my own feelings. For that reason, I did not tell people the truth in an open and upright manner. Afterwards, I adjusted my state of mind so that I was no longer worried about how they would feel after hearing the truth; I changed my approach by directly telling people the truth. In doing so, I am genuinely acting responsibly for them. When my basis was corrected, more and more wisdom just came to me.
Master pointed out to us in "Dafa Disciples' Righteous Thoughts Are Powerful,"
"No matter what the situation, do not cooperate with the evil's demands, orders, or what it instigates. If everyone does this the environment won't be this way "(Essentials For Further Advancement II)
I understand that by refusing to cooperate with the evil forces, we are actually being compassionate toward those who are controlled by them.
Master said in “Explaining the Fa during the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”,
"In clarifying the truth, when a person's fundamental issues are touched, and at the same time he feels that Dafa disciples are truly saving him, then I think the side of him that's clear about things will emerge."
Making phone calls to clarify the truth to people has given me the opportunity to find the selfishness that had been guiding my actions. It was not what tone of voice I used, but whether or not I had a pure heart when I was offering salvation to people.
Falling into danger causes my righteous thoughts to emerge
At the end of December, the immigration office denied my application for political asylum. During that time, I had several sleepless nights because my mind was filled with worry. I knew that I must change completely. I began to search inside myself. Whenever my human heart surfaced, I told myself that I must trust Master and the Fa and must not use human notions to look at issues. Although my personal case was urgent, I should not let it stop me from making phone calls. Every morning, my thought karma and human notions were very strong. However, just as Master said,
“Cultivation is hard. It’s hard in that even when a terrible calamity strikes, even when evil madly persecutes, and even when your life is at stake, you still have to be able to steadfastly continue on your path of cultivation without letting anything in human society interfere with the steps you take on your path of cultivation.” (“Path” in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
After shifting back to the right foundation, I felt calm and peaceful as if lots of bad factors in me were eliminated. My asylum case did not matter to me anymore.
During the entire time, however, Master sent me hints several times that I had lust issues, but I failed to understand. The old forces hence had grasped that loophole. Master said,
“The truth is, losing this opportunity of the ages and not fulfilling the real purpose of coming to this world are more terrifying than the attachment of being too ashamed to face others." (“Pass the Deadly Test”)
I knew I must let go of my human heart, and therefore, disclosed my filthy past openly to fellow practitioners. After letting go of my human heart, I could feel that the evil forces’ interference was dismantled. Many fellow practitioners offered their help in getting needed materials ready for my case; they also accompanied me to talk with my lawyers, and sent forth righteous rights. The entire process allowed me to personally experience the mighty mercy of our Master.
After discussing my issues of lust with a western practitioner, I felt that another layer of substance was peeled off, and my heart was tranquil. On the same day, a fellow practitioner asked me to help make phone calls in a phone conference for the rescue team.
"Whatever you experience during your cultivation--whether good or bad--is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating." (“To the Chicago Fa Conference”)
The process of applying for political asylum has given me any opportunity to understand cultivation from a different view.
I have had days when my situation was not good, and I did not want to make any phone calls. Yet, I am always touched by those fellow practitioners who have been telling the truth about Falun Gong to Chinese citizens for the past ten years. They are able to hold on to their righteous thoughts in face of difficulties, and from them, I am able to find my own weaknesses.
After making phone calls for a few months, my cultivation state has gone through a dramatic change; my righteous thoughts have been strengthened. I no longer find it hard to clarify the truth to Chinese people. When my mother was seriously ill, I treated her as a fellow practitioner. With faith in Master and Dafa, I encouraged her to strengthen her righteous thoughts. Currently, my mother’s condition is improving. Although I have come across many big hurdles recently, what has happened to me is just like what Master tells us, “If you can actually do it, you will indeed find: “After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!”” (Zhuan Falun)
