(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Gong on March 8, 1997. Since then, I have come to know the true meaning of life and my life has become meaningful.
After the persecution began, however, my cultivation environment changed drastically. My husband had just begun to practice at that time, but decided to give it up because he was afraid of being persecuted. Our group, who studied the Fa in my home, was forced to stop, because the interference from my family was especially severe.
After I went to Beijing to appeal for justice for Falun Gong, my husband reported me because he was afraid that he would be affected. As soon as I returned home, I was picked up and taken to a detention center. My husband wanted a divorce, and my father, who once read Dafa books, tore up my Dafa books. Officials at my workplace wanted to get a promotion by persecuting Falun Gong practitioners and often told me to leave work. They tried to force me to give up my practice and incited my colleagues to isolate me. Facing such a harsh environment, I had to leave home in order to avoid further persecution. I felt that cultivation was very difficult.
The fact was that I had human notions and no righteous thoughts. I was always concerned that my family would worry about me and that they might be affected, so the old forces took advantage of my loopholes, which were my attachments to fame, gain and sentimentality, and were able to persecute me. However, I did not recognize what was going on, nor did I look within. Instead, I developed all kinds of attachments due to my sentimentality, such as jealousy, complaining, and fighting. As a result, I was seized and taken to a brainwashing center. Collaborators who used to practice Falun Gong but who eventually followed a deviant path, worked hard to persuade me, and I lost my righteous thoughts and yielded to the evil. I did things that a true practitioner should never do. I was defeated by the evil.
After that, I was very depressed. I did not dare to look at Teacher’s portrait and could not face fellow practitioners. I felt I was disgusting and had let others down. I even looked down on myself. My life was empty, as if I had lost my roots. Deep inside, however, I clearly knew that my life was for the Fa, and that I could never abandon the Fa. My life was only meaningful when I was in the Fa.
Teacher said in “Touring North America to Teach the Fa:”
“Of course, this undertaking hasn't been completed yet, Fa-rectification hasn't been concluded, so there's still a chance for you to do well again. Indeed, as long as there's still one day when the persecution hasn't ended, that day is an opportunity. Use it well, do better, come back sooner, and don't miss any more opportunities. Don't dwell on your past mistakes--if you've made mistakes, then do well from now on. Don't think about the things that have happened. Think about how to do well from now on, and become truly responsible to yourself and to sentient beings.”
Teacher’s compassionate words encouraged me, and I once again joined the efforts of Fa-rectification.
I tried my best to do the three things well and to make up for my past mistakes. After studying the Fa, cultivating my heart, looking within and examining myself, I eliminated all evil factors of the persecution and saved sentient beings. A fellow practitioner gave me a copy machine. I remembered Teacher’s words to not wait or rely on others. I learned how to copy truth-clarification materials and distributed them to people in the streets. In these years, I have distributed numerous materials and truly understood Teacher’s words that one practitioner can do the work of ten, one hundred, and even one thousand ordinary people.
Later, the Clearwisdom website advised that we should establish materials production sites all over the country. Fellow practitioners discussed this issue with me. I quickly learned how to make informational materials. With the help of fellow practitioners, I established a family production site and was in charge of providing materials for several other practitioners. I bought equipment and printed, transported, and distributed these materials. As I did this, I needed to be careful that my family did not see what I was doing. Every week, I also took one or two afternoons to clarify the facts in public with another practitioner. He said to me, “You have to work, make materials, study the Fa, practice the exercises, clarify the facts, and do all your housework. I don’t know how you can handle all these things.” But I felt that my life was very meaningful.
During the process of saving sentient beings, I came across all kinds of predestined people. They helped me to understand the preciousness of life and the sacred mission we shoulder. One time, a person delivered water to my home. I chatted with him, clarified the facts to him, and told him to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. He listened attentively and agreed. Before he left, he bowed to me and thanked me for saving him and his family.
I must be more diligent, study the Fa more, and look within. I also need to send forth righteous thoughts and rectify myself, so that I can meet Teacher’s expectations. I need to take responsibility and save sentient beings, fulfill my prehistoric promise, and accomplish my mission.