(Clearwisdom.net) I am writing this article today to share the lesson from a very serious incident. I hope this sharing can help other practitioners walking the divine path. In my opinion, being responsible to the Fa is being responsible to one’s cultivation and one’s own life.
The Superficial Appearance
Prior to the Chinese Communist Party’s 16th Congress at the end of October 2002, the persecution in China was severe. The news of practitioners being arrested and persecuted kept coming. Some of them even died as a result of torture. At that time I was responsible for distributing informational materials about Falun Dafa in a small area. Because other practitioners were followed, they could no longer distribute materials. The materials accumulated at my place, and I was quite fearful.
One night at around 8:00 p.m., a group of police broke into my home. Fifteen minutes later they dragged me off and took me to a hotel. In the hotel I could clearly feel that Master was near. But Master could not help me. What was the reason?
That time, the persecution was very severe. Due to the severity of the persecution, few practitioners would walk out of incarceration with dignity. My life was tested to the limit. I did not give up on my belief, no matter how hard it was. I did not give up on my life, either. I knew I could walk out with dignity.
Reflection
We practitioners know that severe persecution is due to one’s attachments and loopholes. However, what was the old forces' excuse for persecuting me?
The worst part of being in the detention center was that I could not study the Fa. I lacked the companionship of any practitioners to discuss my issues and I had a hard time finding my own loopholes. I was trying to look for my attachments while negating the persecution. What were the attachments? I was merely trying my best to let go of everything I had. My environment was improving slowly and painfully. My physical condition improved gradually. I was released seven months later. Their plot to make me die from “sickness” was foiled. After I returned home I recovered quickly, but I still could not understand the reasons for being persecuted.
Finding the True Reason
Several months later, I finally understood. Prior to that persecution, Master taught the Fa in Washington D.C. in July 2002. The lecture was not published on the Minghui website right away. Many practitioners were looking forward to its publication.
When I went to visit practitioner B, she asked, “Have you seen Master’s new lecture?” She had received a CD mailed by an overseas practitioner. Who would not want to watch Master’s lecture? She turned on the VCD and we watched it. She had gone to her coworker to make a copy and did not initially succeed, but was eventually successful; however, the copy was not clear. She said, “We can make more copies, so everybody can watch it.” I felt it was inappropriate. Although this was Master’s lecture, it had not been publicly published yet. I felt that it was not right to spread it. But she said Master asked for the tapes to be destroyed after the actual lecture is out, but did not say that we should not spread it prior to the actual lecture’s publication. What she said seemed reasonable. I wanted to watch it myself. Other practitioners would want to watch it, too. Not allowing them to make copies seemed selfish. Although I felt it was inappropriate, I did not say much after that.
Several days later I heard that practitioner L was making copies of the CD. If I could have shared with practitioner B and L from the Fa's perspective at that time, perhaps we would not have had such a huge tribulation later. Practitioner L is a student, very kind and always willing to help others. He never turned down anyone who asked for help. After several rounds of persecution he was always able to walk out with dignity. I have never heard him complain about anyone, even those who betrayed him. I shared my thoughts with him. He agreed that it was inappropriate to copy and spread the CD, but did it anyway.
After Master’s lecture was published on the Minghui website, I met with practitioner B again and said, “Now that Master’s lecture has been published, those CDs should be destroyed.” Her reply was, “Many practitioners could not bring themselves to destroy the CDs.” I did not know what else to say. I thought, “I did not bring this CD here and did not distribute it to others. I did not make copies. I tried to stop it. If you do not listen to me, I will not ask any more.”
Later on, when the evildoers arrested me, they planted this very CD in my home and used it as evidence against me. I felt miserable in the hotel when the evildoers showed me the CD. I thought, “Master said that as soon as the lecture is published, the CDs/tapes should be destroyed right away. Why did we practitioners not listen to Master? This CD has become ‘evidence’ for the evildoers to persecute practitioners.” They kept showing me the CD and attempted to use it as the reason to sentence me to several years in prison. I have always thought that it was other practitioners who did not listen to Master. I did not realize that this matter did have something to do with me.
Lessons Learned
After I returned home, I thought more about this matter and that it did have something to do with me. I knew it when I first saw the CD. Until the last stage of this incident, I had always known what was “accidentally” happening. How could it not have anything to do with me? My understanding of the Fa principles was unclear. I had selfish thoughts and I was not being responsible to the Fa. I should have initially insisted that the CD be destroyed. Had I done so, we would not have had to face this severe consequence.
I almost lost my life. The other practitioners also faced severe persecution. Practitioner B was sentenced to five years in prison. Practitioner L revealed nothing to the evildoers during an interrogation. He was sentenced to four and a half years of imprisonment. B and L were brutally tortured. I almost lost my life in the detention center. The consequences are not limited to these matters alone. The persecution made once diligent practitioner L unable to get out of prison. This is a most painful result.
Being Involved in Damaging the Fa Was Due to Being Self-Centered
A year later I was reading Master’s lecture,
“If someone carelessly records them for other people, plays them, spreads them, or wantonly has publishing houses or factories mass-produce them, he would be committing the worst deed. I’d say that this person doesn’t meet the criteria for being a Dafa disciple.” (“Lecture at the First Conference in North America,” 1998)
I was shocked. Master has clearly taught us this.
“When I taught the Fa I told you before about all the problems that might occur during this malicious and destructive examination.” (“Drive Out Interference,” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
In addition to my ego, I was unclear on the Fa principles and initially thought, “I did not do it, so it has nothing to do with me.”
If I were now asked to make copies of that CD, I absolutely would not do it. I would not do anything that I felt was inappropriate. However, my selfish thinking made me feel that if it is not something I did directly, it should not have anything to do with me. Not clearly understanding the Fa principles made me more likely to have selfish thinking. This selfish thought contains a huge attachment, which is that the damage to the Fa has nothing to do with me.
As I wrote this sharing, the seriousness of that event and why the old forces wanted to torture me to death became clear. Although the police did not know about the events leading up to my arrest, we all suffered from such severe persecution.
Although it was several months later when I got to know the true reason for this round of persecution, I regret that I did not clearly understand the Fa principles. The persecution has put a blight on me for many years since. I have not broken through that state for a long time because of my ego. I still have not returned home in order to avoid further persecution.
Protecting and being responsible to the Fa is protecting one’s life. Master’s benevolence has given me the opportunity to fully understand the Fa principles. Master’s tremendous endurance has given me the ability to recognize my mistakes.
I think our overseas practitioners have become mature and will no longer mail these kinds of CDs to China. I also sincerely hope that the overseas practitioner who did the mailing realizes his/her own mistake and will do better in the new environment to carry out a disciple's responsibilities, and follow Master’s requirements and the Fa’s standards. I also hope practitioner L, who suffered from this persecution, will soon step back onto the path of cultivation again.
I would like to share my lessons learned, hoping that this is helpful to fellow practitioners who are walking on the divine path.
If there is anything inappropriate, please kindly point it out.
