(Clearwisdom.net) I obtained the Fa in 1996, but failed to genuinely cultivate. I cannot even recite Lunyu yet. I was busy doing family affairs, and I thought I was conforming to everyday society as I understood I should. But Master taught us to cultivate ourselves while conforming to everyday society. Recently, my child told me he wanted to join the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and told me that I would have to write a guarantee statement to stop cultivating Falun Gong.

At first, I tried to persuade him not to join, but my family and relatives all tried to persuade me, saying that joining the CCP would make his life “happy.” I then wrote that statement for him. Later, after fellow practitioners told me how serious the consequences are, I awakened suddenly, and I wanted to die from sadness.

That night, I could not fall asleep. My third eye is open, so whenever I closed my eyes, I could see many sad-faced beings in my heavenly kingdom, wearing rags, telling me many miserable things. I saw that my heavenly kingdom had withered, with a few bare trees without any leaves. There was no trace of life in my heavenly kingdom.

Fellow practitioners told me to study the Fa seriously and look inside. I then calmly studied Master's recent teachings. Master taught us in “Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference:”

“The steadfast resolve of Dafa disciples is unshakable. Physical assault and verbal abuse are just displays of impotence. In this society physical assault is a crime. So, don't be intimidated by those evil things, and don't fall prey to the lies they use to confuse ordinary people. There's talk of how ordinary people have certain opinions on this, but what about that? Ordinary people have all kinds of opinions. You are the ones saving them, so you need to be clear on what you are doing and working toward.”

I felt Master's every word directly speaking to me, but I had betrayed Master, didn't live up to Master's benevolent salvation for the past 15 years. I disgraced Dafa and committed an unforgivable sin because I ruined the sentient beings in my heavenly realm.

Thank goodness the Fa-rectification has not ended, Master has not left me, such an unworthy disciple, behind. One morning, while I was doing the second exercise, I saw black characters on a black background. After around 30 seconds, bright and golden small characters appeared one by one. After the “writing” went on for a while, big, golden, shiny characters appeared. At the same time, I saw something like a bookshelf, with two books placed in plain view.

I am so embarrassed about my not diligent past. Only by cultivating well can I mend my mistakes and be worthy of Master's benevolent salvation. I wrote this article hoping to warn my fellow disciples to use my mistake as a lesson and to walk straight on our paths from now on.