(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1996. Master has purified my body many times since I obtained the Fa. I feel the wonderful lightness of no-illness. Prior to 1999, I often participated in group Fa-study. I also spent a lot of time reciting the Fa with a calm heart. One day, as I was reciting Lecture Two, the section on “The Issue of Celestial Eye,” suddenly my forehead opened like a window. I saw the wonderful sight of another dimension, which strengthened my confidence in cultivation. Diligent Fa study has enabled me to follow Master over the last ten years. I would like to share with fellow practitioners my experience in breaking the illusions of sickness karma during the last year.
Beginning in December 2009, my body was constantly in an abnormal state. I felt dizzy day and night. I kept studying the Fa and doing the exercises, as well as clarifying the truth to people. No matter how bad I felt, if I went out to clarify the truth, as soon as I opened my mouth, everything was fine. But when I returned home, I felt terrible again. The same thing happened several times. When I shared this experience with a fellow practitioner, the practitioner said, “When you are clarifying the truth, it's a god saving sentient beings. Of course, gods have no illness. But when you are back among human beings, you'll feel dizzy. These are just illusions and it's persecution by the evil. You should not acknowledge it. Send forth righteous thoughts to eradicate it.” So I kept doing the three things well and increased the intensity of sending forth righteous thoughts. After a while this passed.
Later the situation worsened. When the abnormal state suddenly hit, I felt pain in my chest and back. My heart raced to over 130 beats per minute, and my hands and feet would break out in a cold sweat. This sometimes lasted nine hours. At that time, no matter how terrible I felt, I never treated it as an illness. I knew that Master had completely cleansed my body after I started cultivation. I knew it must be persecution by the old forces and the evil. I got over these conditions by sending forth righteous thoughts. My husband has always supported my practicing Dafa and has witnessed that Dafa is supernatural. But this time when I repeatedly appeared unwell, he was worried. One day I was feeling really bad and was almost unable to hold myself together. My husband said, “Your condition is serious. There are over a hundred diseases that can cause dizziness and tachycardia.” I immediately interrupted him, saying, “I am a Dafa practitioner. Master is looking after me. There won't be a problem.” With this righteous thought, I instantly felt the air become cool and everything returned to normal. I knew that my thought of not regarding it as illness negated the evil's persecution. My husband also witnessed the magic of Dafa.
During that time, I was particularly unwell. Whenever I could not pass the test, I would keep asking for help from fellow practitioners. Fellow practitioners treated my tribulations as their own. They shared their understandings of the Fa to help us improve. They asked me to spend more time sending forth righteous thoughts and to look inward. Sometimes when I felt poorly, even during the middle of the night, they would rush to help me to send forth righteous thoughts, share experiences on the Fa, and have me look inward. The abnormal conditions would quickly disappear. I truly realized the power of collectively sending forth righteous thoughts.
There is one fellow practitioner who goes out to clarify the truth with me almost every day. When I was feeling bad and did not want to go out to clarify the truth, that practitioner told me, “It is not you that is feeling bad and you should deny it. It wants you to rest, but you must go out to save sentient beings. Do not acknowledge it—we must follow the path arranged by Master.” Led by my fellow practitioner's righteous thoughts, we recited Master's “Tempering the Will” and “Stirred by Reflection” and went out. When we saw people with a predestined relationship, we clarified the truth to them and persuaded them to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. With my heart on saving sentient beings, I did not feel ill, and everything was back to normal.
I used to be attached to affection. I was very attached to my affection for relatives, parents, children, my husband, and friends. It was difficult to eliminate the attachment. A short time after everything returned to normal, there were new interferences from my family. My 90-year-old mother-in-law fell, my younger brother had heart disease, and someone needed to take care of the renovation of the house. My heart was moved by these things and the abnormal conditions returned.
At that time many practitioners came over to study the Fa with me and strengthened me with their righteous thoughts so that I could continue to eliminate my attachments to affection. I constantly studied the Fa, sent forth righteous thoughts, and painfully eliminated the attachment to affection. No matter how bad I felt, I kept studying the Fa and doing the three things well. I also denied it with my actions. Sometimes I was terribly dizzy, but I am a Dafa practitioner, not a patient, and I cannot let everyday people take care of me. Sometimes I really wanted to lie down and rest, but the thought that I was a Dafa practitioner made me deny this illusion. No matter how terrible I felt, when a fellow practitioner came over, I would go out with her to clarify the truth. On several occasions, after we finished clarifying the truth, I could not walk back. So I increased my intensity of sending forth righteous thoughts. After studying the Fa and cultivating my mind for a period of time, I was able to let go of a lot of attachments to affection. Interferences lessened, and I returned to normal.
In the middle of the night some time later I suddenly had tachycardia. My hands and feet broke out in cold sweats, and my chest and back hurt. I felt a muddy field in my dimension. If this had happened before, I would have called fellow practitioners to come over to send forth righteous thoughts with me. However, I knew I should not always rely on fellow practitioners, especially during the middle of the night when they were resting, so I asked Master to strengthen me. I suddenly thought of what Master said in “Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles:”
“In such cases there are only two choices: You either go to the hospital and thus give up on trying to overcome the test, or you completely let go of everything, behave like an upstanding and noble Dafa disciple who has no resentment or attachments, and leave it to Master to arrange whether you stay or go. When you are able to do that, you are a god.”
When I was in the most pain I shouted, “I am a disciple of Master Li Hongzhi! I only listen to my Master and I will follow only Master's arrangements. I don't want and will not acknowledge any other arrangement. Even if I am falling short in my cultivation, I don't want the arrangement by any other being. I will rectify myself within the Fa and will persist in practicing Dafa and follow Master to return to my home. With this thought, my dimensional field became cool and my body was back to normal instantly. Golden houses, trees, and beautiful scenes of other dimensions were constantly appearing in front of my eyes. I knew Master was taking care of me all the time. When I enlightened correctly, Master showed me the scenes from other dimensions to give me encouragement.
Soon after my body returned to normal, it turned around and went bad suddenly. Besides the symptoms mentioned above, I also felt my legs and feet getting really cold. My legs were very sore and I could not walk. Seeing me like this, my husband appeared powerless and helpless. I was also very confused, so I went to the fellow practitioner for advice. She said, “The appearance stems from the mind. Your husband's behavior is a manifestation of your mind. It is the feelings of powerlessness and helplessness in your mind that led to your husband's behavior. You need to change your human notions and look at issues from the perspective of a practitioner. Don't always think about your legs and how bad you feel in your head. The more you think about them, the more you acknowledge them. You should look more to your xinxing. Spirit and matter are one.” Through the exchange, my mind became clear again. I went home and continued studying the Fa and looking inward. I knew it was time for me to get rid of my human notions. Whatever I face, I should use the principles of cultivation and treat bad things as good things. That way I will not have any thoughts of helplessness. When I have faith in Master and the Fa, there is no tribulation that I can't pass. Sure enough, through studying the Fa, getting rid of human notions, and looking inward, my body became normal again.
Whenever I could not pass a test or I lacked confidence, Master would give me a hint. Once, two large characters appeared in front of my eyes: “You can.” I knew this was to strengthen my righteous thoughts and confidence.
Another time, due to snow and cold weather, we were not able to go out every day to clarify the truth. As a result, two large characters appeared in front of my eyes: “Save people.” I discussed this with a fellow practitioner. She said she also had dreams all night about clarifying the truth to people. We immediately realized this was a hint from Master that we should hurry up to save sentient beings, so we immediately went out and did.
Experiences of overcoming tribulations throughout the previous year have made me more firmly believe in Master and Dafa. My xinxing has elevated through continuously studying the Fa, looking inward, and eliminating attachments. The arrangements by the old forces are nothing. We only walk the path arranged by Master.
Recently I have encountered more tests. I have lived with and taken care of my mother-in-law for over 30 years. Ten years ago, she asked us to buy the housing unit allocated by her company and said that the unit belonged to us. Recently, out of nowhere, she said we needed to share the unit with my brother-in-law. My husband is an honest man and never fights with anyone. All of a sudden, facing such unfairness, he could not let it go. I know that as a Dafa practitioner, nothing is accidental. This must be directed towards my attachments. I will no longer be driven by human notions and I will get rid of my attachments to profit.
I think I should treat this the same way as treating the sickness demon. I need to get rid of the attachments completely and act like a dignified Dafa practitioner. I have no grudges and no attachments. My fate is arranged by Master. Once I put this down, things will turn positive. No matter what happens, I won't be moved by this.
All of my relatives and friends know that I am a dutiful daughter-in-law. But this time when my mother-in-law stayed in the hospital, her sister came to visit and said a few spiteful words and I was disturbed. I knew that it was directed towards my attachment to fame and reputation because I like to hear words of praise. I know that what I want is the improvement of my cultivation, not human attachments.
After a year of tribulations, during the process of continuously denying the old forces, I have walked the path arranged by Master and I have learned to look inward. My xinxing has improved while eliminating attachments to affection, fame, and profit. Whether the road ahead is flat or rocky, I have faith in Master and Dafa. I will continuoue to improve myself within the Fa, rectify myself, and eliminate all human notions and attachments.