(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Gong in February 2010. Whenever I recall the first time I read Zhuan Falun, tears come into my eyes.
I was born into a poor peasant family. After college graduation, I worked for the government. In 1992, I started my own business. Later my company lost money and I had to close it in 2005. That also ended my marriage. The business loss and marriage failure pushed me near the edge of a mental collapse. All my black hair fell out in three days. Afterwards, I started thinking and seeking the real meaning of life. I came to a temple to study Buddha’s law, hoping to find the answer. I had read many classic scriptures from Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism in a few years and followed Buddhist precepts and dietary rules for five years. However, I still didn’t find the ultimate relief and freedom.
Not until February 2010, when my wife was introduced to Falun Dafa in Malaysia. She brought the book Zhuan Falun back to me. At first, I didn’t feel anything special. But when I opened it that night and saw Teacher’s picture, I was awestruck. Where did I see Teacher before? I couldn’t tell, but I was sure that I had seen him. I was looking at Teacher, and he was also looking at me. I felt a calmness and peace that I had never felt before. I saw Teacher’s picture not in two-dimensional, but three-dimensional. I could see him as if he were right there in person and feel the energy that he passed to me. His eyes were full of compassion and encouragement. My tears poured out. Holding the book to my chest, I murmured, “Teacher, why didn’t you come earlier?” I read the book without a break. I can’t remember how long it took, but in those few days, besides eating bread and going to bathroom, all I did was just to read. After I finished the book, I felt extremely relaxed and free. I realized that no religion could help me to gain relief, because pursuing relief is a form of attachment and actually the biggest barrier to gain true relief. With a pursuit to study the Fa, one would get nothing in the end.
I had read many scriptures, but none of them gave me the interactive feeling as Zhuan Falun did. Every paragraph in Zhuan Falun emitted great energy that made me feel peaceful and calm and evoked my compassion. All my attachments such as resentment, care for personal gain, jealousy, sadness, fear, helplessness, and greed were melted without even being noticed. All things surrounding me became so lovely. It was so profound, so miraculous, and so incredible. I often asked myself how much virtue I must have had to be so fortunate as to study such a precious and miraculous Dafa. The only thing I could do was to tell my experiences to all the people who have a predestined relationship with me, to help them to study the Fa as well.
As a new practitioner, I knew that time was extremely short for me to cultivate in the Fa-rectification period. I must double my efforts to do well the three things that Teacher asks us to do and help Teacher to save more sentient beings. In comparison to veteran practitioners, I lost more than a dozen years of cultivation. If I was not diligent, how could I fulfill my pre-historical vows in the remaining time?
When I first studied the Fa, the biggest interference to me came from my own “knowledge.” Before coming to Dafa, I was proud of myself as an intellectual. However, after studying Dafa, I came to know that all the classic theories that I learned were just a tiny bit of the real truth. When reading Teacher’s articles, sometimes I was interfered with. For example, when reading a certain paragraph, all of sudden a similar paragraph from an everyday people’s book appeared in front of my eyes. When reading Hong Yin, some everyday people’s poems appeared. Whenever this happened, I closed the book and sat to send forth the righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference from other dimensions. I then resumed reading. I knew that the interference was due to the fact that I still had some attachments (e.g. pursuit of knowledge in human world). Getting rid of these attachments was a process to enhance my xinxing. After a while this situation ceased.
At the beginning, once in a group event to promote Dafa, practitioners started to recite Lunyu. I was the only person who couldn’t recite it. I felt very embarrassed. I told myself that I must memorize it. I was very busy with my business those days, so the only time that I could use was half hour before going to bed. It was really a miracle, I spent only two nights, half hour each night, but I memorized Lunyu well. I've never made any mistake in reciting it since. It might not be a big deal to others, but to me, it was really big. After the near mental collapse, I had a very bad memory. When others asked me to do something, only when I wrote it down, put it in my pocket, and set the alarm on my watch could I not forget it. For a few large paragraphs, if it were written by some everyday people, it was absolutely impossible for me to memorize. But studying the Fa was different. As long as we have firm faith in Dafa and put forth our best efforts, Teacher will strengthen us. Nothing is impossible.
Two months after practicing Falun Gong, I joined the Divine Land Marching Band. I learned to play the clarinet. I had no prior experience with Western musical instruments, especially wind instruments. So at first, I barely made any progress and even wondered if I should quit. But I realized that we are Dafa disciples, that we have made pre-historical vows, and that we are shouldering the sacred mission to assist Teacher to rectify the Fa. I then had the courage and confidence in overcoming the challenge. There was no shortcut but to practice it hard. Besides studying the Fa and doing the exercises, all my spare time was spent on practicing the clarinet. Sometimes my lips became numb and throat swollen and painful. I asked other practitioners to teach me whenever I got a chance. Thus, in less than two months, I memorized 11 songs and could write them out in their entirety. I went with the band to perform after two months. On the surface, it seemed that my progress was due to my efforts, but actually it was the result of Teacher’s strengthening.
In addition to joining the Divine Land Marching Band, I also helped to promote the Chinese Epoch Times newspaper. At first, I distributed the newspaper to the neighboring markets. Later the newspaper coordinator encouraged us to set up fixed newspaper distribution sites, which would help the newspaper’s distribution, subscription, and advertisement. So my wife and I visited the stores in our neighborhood, trying to persuade the owners to allow us put the newspaper in their stores.
Because we didn’t pay them and also because some of them had a bias against Falun Gong due to the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP’s) propaganda, there were difficulties for us to promote the Epoch Times. Asking the owner for a distribution site inside their store became a good truth-clarification opportunity. During our visits, some people politely rejected us, some said bad words to us, and once a fairly rich owner cursed me badly. I calmly apologized to him and left his store, he even came out to curse me. I had a dream that night. I saw that I was a mayor in the Qing Dynasty. I had an omission in a case and executed a gentleman by error. I retired several years later. By accident I found that I made a big mistake. But it was too late to make it up. I sold half of my properties to provide anonymous financial support to that gentleman’s family. That gentleman was the store owner. After waking up, I said to myself, “I didn’t know that I had such a bad predestined relationship with that store owner. If that’s true, he could take my life for revenge. Am I getting off too easy for me to just get cursed? Wasn’t Teacher helping me to eliminate this big karma?” Since then, I have been very careful with my words and actions. I don’t want to have any unrighteous words or actions to let down Teacher.
Though it was hard, Teacher still arranged some people with predestined relationship to help us. In less than a month, my wife and I set up fourteen newspaper distribution sites. The stores that supported us included a supermarket, a hardware store, an advertisement agency, a dry cleaning store, a restaurant, and a vendor booth. They all had good traffic. At each site, in addition to the newspaper, we also put a set of truth-clarification materials and a Zhuan Falun book for people to read. Besides regularly checking and refilling newspaper and materials, we also talked to the store owners and tried to help them. Some owners wanted to expand their business, but didn't know how. We suggested that they print flyers and my wife and I distributed them at the market. They were grateful for our help in growing their businesses, and became more supportive to our newspaper distribution sites.
Participating many times in group exercise and group Fa study strengthens practitioners so that they can to help people to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. I felt strongly the intensity of the energy fields when participating in such activities with veteran practitioners. It shows that veteran practitioners have strong righteous thoughts and high a xinxing. To be honest, I don't want to be left behind Dafa practitioners at the final period. I truly want to go home with Teacher. With Teacher's care and fellow practitioners' help, I am confident that I will make it.
Please point out my gaps due to my limited understanding.
