(Clearwisdom.net) I began to practice Falun Gong in 1997. However, I was consumed with human things and failed to put Dafa above everything else. Therefore, I did not study the Fa diligently and was unclear about the Fa principles. This resulted in a number of tribulations, which I didn't really resolve amiably, and was going forward through stumbling and falling, over and over again.
In 2004, I was arrested by the local 610 Office at work and taken to the provincial brainwashing center. When viewed with a human mindset, I understood that the arrest happened because one of my colleagues reported on me to the authorities. At the time, I was completely uncooperative with my tormentors and was thus persecuted more severely. They threatened me, "If you do not renounce Falun Gong we'll send you to the forced labor camp!" I thought, "I would rather be imprisoned at a forced labor camp than renounce Falun Gong." After the brainwashing session, I was sentenced to two years of forced labor. In the forced labor camp, though I thought of Teacher's teachings. I realized that I still used human thoughts to judge things. I persisted in doing just the opposite of what I was told to do, so I was persecuted more severely. I was held alone on one floor with four prisoners monitoring me. I was ready to die for Falun Gong. They photographed and videotaped me. Later, I was told that they had even prepared my funeral.
When I calmed down, I held the thought that I was a practitioner. Teacher definitely had not arranged that I would be sentenced to forced labor. I passively accepted everything and walked on the path arranged by the old forces. I realized that I had to negate the old forces' influence and walk on the path arranged by Teacher. Alas, I did not know what to do. In the eighth month, I was on the verge of death. The diagnosis was complete failure of my internal organs. My skin was like that of an 80-year-old and my weight dropped from 67 kgs to 40 kgs (from 148 lbs to 88 lbs).
One night I slept from about 3 a.m. to 4 a.m. I became sober-minded. Remembering my cultivation over the past few years I felt very sad. I said to Teacher, "Teacher, you asked us to save sentient beings. People here are very evil. Whom shall I save? I must be released from the camp to expose their crimes and to save those who are worthy to be saved." This thought came from the bottom of my heart, went up through my head and broke through layers of dimensions toward the cosmos. With loud rumbling sound my body was expanding towards all directions. I was moved to tears. Seven days later I was give medical leave for three-months of treatment.
The most important enlightenment of that time was that to negate the old forces' arrangement one must be a diligent practitioner and on the Fa. Maybe, when I sent forth my thoughts, I had reached the standard of a practitioner. In analyzing the factors that led to my detention, I remembered the thought, "I would rather go to the forced labor camp than being forced to renounce Falun Gong." I was actually accepting the persecution arranged by the old forces and the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) policy of persecuting Falun Gong. At the same time I left a loophole for the the old forces, which they could use to persecute me.
During the 2006 Chinese New Year I went back to my hometown. I went to see a fellow practitioner who asked me to stay and help produce materials about Falun Gong. With the help of family members and practitioners, I first learned to install NTDTV satellite antennas. Overcoming all kinds of difficulties, I learned the techniques on how to install antennas. Later, one fellow practitioner gave me a computer and I gradually learned to use the computer to burn CDs, browse the Internet, download materials and install computer operating systems. I became so proficient that I was able help other practitioners set up Falun Gong material production sites.
When I was doing very well, I came across an article written by a practitioner in September 2009, which claimed that I betrayed fellow practitioners, though it did not mention my name. The article said I had been “transformed” at the forced labor camp, but that I pretended to have walked out of the forced labor camp with righteous thoughts to gain practitioner's respect. It also said that I liked to travel around and stay with practitioners, but did not cultivate well. After reading the article I was really shocked and felt very much aggrieved. How could they describe me like that? My first thought was to find the writer and set things straight.
From then on, practitioners who didn't know me very well tried to avoid me and the others looked at me suspiciously. I failed to pass the test. I took it to heart and did not eat and sleep. I developed chest pain. Tears kept running down my face. I felt depressed and couldn't do anything for two days. I felt Teacher was removing black substances from my body. At around 1 a.m. the following day I calmed down and thought that it was the old forces that set up this tribulation. Their purpose was to test me and destroy the sentient beings I could have saved.
I experienced a number of tribulations and couldn't get out of them. Why was cultivation so difficult? In 1999, when I went to Beijing to appeal for justice for Falun Gong, I gave up my job and family. I let go of life and death in the forced labor camp. I asked myself, "What else have I not let go?" After some thought, I sat down in the lotus position with conjoined hands and sent forth one thought, "Teacher, I will not waver on the path of saving sentient beings. For the Fa, I am willing to let go of everything, even my life! I want every thought and every action of mine, my body and soul to unconditionally assimilate into the Fa." I then saw a thin layer of semi transparent substance separate from me and disappear. I felt warmth and happiness in my heart, and fame and humiliation no longer existed. I found that everything in the human world was illusion and it would disappear instantly. I also felt that the remaining attachments were nothing but fog moving in the air. I felt that only when a life melts into the Fa can it be immortal.
When I shared with practitioners, they also realized that that practitioner who wrote that article was not on the Fa and affected the cooperation of the one body as well as the saving of sentient beings. From my own perspective it exposed a lot of attachments as well, such as fear of being wrongly accused and harboring grievances. I also had the attachment of seeking fame, show-off mentality and the attachment of validating myself. All these attachments were meant to be eliminated.
With diligent Fa study, Teacher displayed to me the Fa principles at different levels. Sometimes when I studied the Fa with a pure and calm mind, I would feel that I entered into the book and melted into the Fa.
My understanding on being persecuted is: Many practitioners have been persecuted since July 20, 1999 because they accepted the old forces arrangements. The old forces used our attachments to persecute us. An important manifestation in this human world was acknowledging in our thoughts or actions the CCP's policy of persecuting Falun Gong. Only by walking on the path arranged by Teacher can we totally negate the arrangement of the old forces. As a practitioner, the things we are doing to assist Teacher to rectify the Fa is the most righteous and most sacred in the universe. No one is worthy of interfering with or persecuting us. Whoever does it is committing crimes. Even though we have attachments or loopholes, we can rectify these with the Fa; no one is allowed to interfere with and persecute practitioners. It is important to let sentient beings learn about the beauty of Dafa, so they also can assimilate into the Fa, let those who want to cultivate to gain the Fa and those who are able to cultivate in the Fa to upgrade themselves. This is actually the greatest compassion towards sentient beings.
The process of cultivation is the process of letting go of human attachments, continuously abandoning postnatal concepts. It is also the process of letting go of ourselves to attain the righteous enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. The prerequisite of all this is to study the Fa diligently and measure ourselves with the Fa at all times.
