(Clearwisdom.net) When I began cultivating Falun Dafa in 1997, I only had a superficial understanding of the principles before July 20, 1999, when the persecution started. After that date I acted based on my overzealous courage. My path was filled with difficulties, and multiple times I was detained and sent to forced labor camps. I was detained for 15 days at the beginning of 2011. The police took my computer, but my family got it back before I was released. I examined the computer and there seemed to be no changes. I then reformatted the hardware and reset the system. After a couple of days, fellow practitioners said my computer could not be used, and that I must change the whole thing in case the evil hid some viruses. I was reluctant to change it, but after considering security, I changed it. A few days later, some practitioners claimed that I never changed my computer and even spread rumors that whoever had email connections with me was at risk of obtaining viruses. Some practitioners stopped communicating with me, stopped logging onto the Minghui/Clearwisdom website internal emails, and avoided contact.
I had been working long term at a materials production site after the persecution began. I was familiar with technology, had credentials, and was very capable. I often heard people praise me, and I hardly heard anything negative. I could not understand why people were treating me like this, and it made me very uncomfortable. I explained to several practitioners the truth, but I could tell not all of them believed me completely, and some pointed out many problems I had and reminded me to look inside.
I calmed down and thought about why practitioners were treating me like this. I looked inside, but I still felt agitated and blamed others. I later thought I should change my mindset. I thought about what Master said, that as long as we study the Fa calmly, all problems can be resolved. I then calmed my mind and studied the Fa without any intention, and then I studied more. Master's teachings gradually entered my mind and opened my wisdom. When I watched the video recording of Falun Dafa--Teaching the Fa to Australian Falun Dafa Practitioners, Master held the microphone and repeatedly told disciples to look inside, which brought me to tears. Master worries about us so much. He has pointed out the quickest and shortest way to cultivate, but I was not following it due to my human attachments. I was so ashamed and humbled in the face of Master's benevolent salvation.
I continued to look inward and found so many more attachments. Looking on the surface, I did many glorious tasks for Dafa in the past, but many bad thoughts still remained, such as the attachment of showing off, zealotry, jealousy, validating myself, selfishness, fear, and lust. I thought clearly that these bad thoughts had to be eliminated and that I needed to distinguish them from my true self and eliminate them completely with righteous thoughts to thoroughly destroy their evil plan to separate me from other practitioners, eliminating the evil elements.
I gradually let go of the mental pressure and just did what a practitioner should do. I reminded myself not to blame others when sharing with practitioners and to treat everyone with compassion. My relationships with them are now improving, and they are willing to share with me. Occasionally a few of them still blame me, but I do not keep defending myself, but just repeatedly look inside to see what attachments I still have or what I have not done right. If I feel the evil is trying to separate us, I disintegrate the evil.
A fellow practitioner once bought a used computer, and I reset his computer system, taught him how to encrypt, go online, download, and shared some security tips and righteous thoughts. After he left, my wife was upset with me, saying that I was foolish, that no one else trusted him, and that I was the only one willing to help him. I did not talk back, but I wondered why, when she had always supported me before when I helped other practitioners, this time she was so mad. I calmly looked inside and realized that our child stayed home several days during vacation and often watched TV. I watched it a few times and did not study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts like I should have. My own dimension was not pure, causing the evil to manipulate my wife's fear. I thought from the bottom of my heart that I had let Master down and that I had to rectify myself so that the evil elements couldn't interfere. I calmly studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts for more than an hour that night. I felt my realms were much clearer. The next morning, my wife acted as if nothing happened. I truly experienced the wonderfulness of looking inside and the hidden joy of cultivation.
Ever since then, I have tried to look inside at every moment, and feel that I have upgraded very fast. I learned if we listen to Master and do things according to Dafa's requirements, cultivation is not that hard, as any problem can be dissolved. I thank Master for arduously saving me. I thank the Clearwisdom website for providing such a platform for disciples to share. I feel I awakened to my problem too late, but I will be more diligent and do the three things from my heart from now on.
Category: Improving Oneself
