(Clearwisdom.net) When I opened the Minghui website yesterday, I saw Master's new scripture “What Is a Dafa Disciple”. The topic touched my heart. After cultivating for over ten years, how am I doing? Do I meet the standard of a Dafa disciple? Before I read the new article, I could not help but ask myself this question. A number of questions touched my heart deeply. I quickly finished the whole lecture. I kept thinking about it that night, and when I got up in the morning, I read it again.
Master stated:
“Whatever is loaded into a person’s mind will for sure affect his outer appearance. For example, if you put something square into a bag, by looking at the outer appearance you will be able to tell; if you put something round into it, you’ll also be able to tell that from the outer appearance. Meaning, whatever kind of thinking is loaded into a person will be visible from the outer appearance.”
That made me think: when one is selfish, and does not get what he or she wants, one will develop a sense of unfairness, resentment or even anger, leading to jealousy and the mentality of fighting. This will show in one's words, actions and outward appearance. Before I obtained Dafa, I had poor health. I felt weak and vulnerable, and my spirits were low, as if no matter how hard I tried, I could not get anything done. People perceived me as if I was upset with someone all the time. The corner of my mouth drooped down most of the time, particularly if I felt unfairly treated, and my language was often sharp. I didn't even like to look at myself in the mirror because it just made me more upset. After I obtained Dafa, I conducted myself according to Dafa principles and cared less about fame, personal gain and emotional attachments. I understood the purpose of life: to return to one's original self. I felt so fortunate to obtain Dafa. Master said: “Upon xinxing improvement, the matter in your body is guaranteed to transform.”(Zhuan Falun).
After the persecution began, my wife divorced me, and my home and life were a mess. Several friends came to visit me with tears in their eyes; they felt that I had lost everything. But I did not become hopeless or full of despair. I became more upbeat, and looked younger and more handsome. People commented that my temperament had really improved. My friends asked me: “How can you still be so upbeat?” How can ordinary people understand a Dafa disciple's mentality?
With regard to saving sentient beings, I cannot compare with those who are able to persuade dozens of people to quit the CCP on a daily basis, but I thought I did well compared with those who do not step forward to clarify the truth or who seldom go out. I went through some severe tribulations when I was reported several times, and only under Master's protection and with righteous thoughts and actions was I able to finally dispel the persecution. I felt that I had made my effort and that it had not been easy for me. Only after reading Master's new scripture, did I realize that I still have a long way to go to reach Master's requirement. I realized that I still have the attachment of fear, and the heart to choose whom I saved. I did not completely follow Master's requirement, did not truly help Master in saving sentient beings, and did not truly believe in Master and the Fa. I read numerous Minghui articles about fellow practitioners who had no fear. They clarify the truth to anyone they meet. That is what Master wants! I believe I still have selfish thoughts and worry about personal benefits. When you carry a selfish thought to save people, it will be difficult to discuss things further.
Every time I think of Master's heart, I want to cry. Why can't I live up to Master's expectations? In order to help us accomplish our mission of saving sentient beings, Master has worked so hard in every aspect for us, and now he is teaching us with such a heavy heart. It is up to us to do well!