(Clearwisdom.net)

I am a young Falun Dafa practitioner who acquired the Fa in 1997. When I first started my cultivation, I was 11 years old and had just started middle-school. I have walked on the path of cultivation for 14 years, in good times and bad, and I know that I can truly fulfill my vows with righteous thoughts and actions. Every step of my improvement has been because of Master's tremendous endurance and immeasurable generosity.

When I recall the tribulations I endured during the past 14 years and how I was responsible for Master worrying so much about my cultivation, I understand it was because I did not assimilate to the Fa actively. Every time I started to look inwards to find my omissions that were taken advantage by the old forces after the persecution affected me, or I endured some small retributions in my life, or I was persecuted by the old forces, I always waited until my attachments were severe enough or until I had the tribulations before I could understand the Fa based on the Fa principles. Every time I had to wait until damage was done before I tried to remedy it.

Master said,

“Some students show their attachments, but some students don't, they keep them inside and they're incredibly attached, and in the end they can't let them go on their own. The evil will make you more and more abnormal, and make you fall hard--so hard you'll never forget it for the rest of your life. That's how they do it, so don't get attached so much.” (“Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”)

After I shared this with fellow practitioners, I found that many of them experienced similar circumstances. Their cultivation was passive. They had to be forced to do something well and to rectify themselves. So I want to share with fellow practitioners the most severe lesson I learned due to my omissions and how I truly looked inward and rectified myself after the tribulations. I hope my lessons can help practitioners who have similar problems.

Losing My Incisors—a Painful Lesson

I was in graduate school at a famous university in China. One Friday at noon in July 2008 during the summer semester, I was riding a bicycle from the dorm to the office and going faster and faster. Suddenly the chain fell off and I lost control. I fell down almost upside down. I was taken by surprise, but I knew that “A good or bad outcome comes from one thought” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun). At the critical moment, I only had one very clear thought in my mind, “I am Master Li's disciple. Master, please save me!” After my mind recovered, I soon stood up. I felt my teeth and found I had lost two incisors and a lot of blood. My arms were covered in bruises.

I had a desperate thought, “The old forces truly persecuted me. How did it happen? Why did it happen? Did compassionate Master no longer want to help me?” It was hot, over 40 degrees Celsius, and there were only a few people on the road. I calmed down, picked up my bicycle, and walked back to the dorm. My thoughts almost stopped. My strong attachments and stubborn human notions fell away along with my two incisors. I felt like I did not have any connections with worldly fame, self-interests, impulses, or troubles. Then the details of the old forces' arrangements were clearly displayed in my mind, frame by frame.

A week before the accident occurred, also at noon on a Friday, one of my classmates fell down and lost an incisor. He called me when he came back from the hospital. I went to his dorm to visit him. This classmate had a predestined relationship with me. I often clarified the truth to him. He not only accepted what I said and acknowledged Dafa, but also exposed the CCP's crimes over many years. When I encouraged him to quit the CCP, he immediately agreed and used an alias to quit. I felt sorry for him when I heard he had lost an incisor. I bought some fruit and went to visit him. He told me how sad he was and how helpless he felt. He was bothered that he had to stay on campus for the whole summer with different teeth. I comforted him, saying, “It's OK. You never know if it is a bad thing or blessing. Your incisor was not very straight before. Now you can change it and you will look better. Plus, you saved money getting it pulled.” He suddenly smiled. The strange thing was that, while I was comforting him, I was thinking that, if I lost my incisors, I could have better-looking, artificial teeth. I did not know why I had such a strange thought, since my incisors were straight and strong. When I joked with him, I was not serious at all, and I did not act like a practitioner. I relaxed my righteous thoughts and did not realize that that thought was implanted in my mind by the old forces. I did not deny it, and my main consciousness relaxed. Then it became my thought. That thought became the excuse for the old forces to persecute me because I did not deny it. Master said,

“Nobody can stop you if that’s what you want. That’s a law in this universe.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)

One week after my classmate lost his tooth, it was Friday again and the last semester was already over. I had already booked the night train ticket home. At noon, my professor called me and told me to come to his office. He said that some officials from the city government had come to the school and he wanted me to do a presentation for them to explain a patent I had just invented. Strong attachments of fame and zealotry, which I had been carefully covering up, all came to the fore. I thought I could pass the test easily, because I did a lot of Fa-validation work. After I heard this, I became even more complacent. The strong attachments of zealotry and fame took over. I sped to the office on my bicycle. By then, I had already totally lost myself and did not realize that it was a test for me to get rid of my attachments to fame and self-interest. I forgot that I was a Falun Dafa practitioner and that I should not be attached to those things. The old forces then amplified my attachments to the extreme and let me get more and more excited and ride faster and faster. In the end, I fell. In addition, I acknowledged the thought that the old forces had implanted in me while I was comforting my classmate. The old forces had my incisors removed and replaced them with the artificial teeth that I had dreamed of. It was really as my attachment had wished. When I recalled it, I realized that I was riding very fast and that my head had hit the ground very hard. If it were not for Master's compassionate protection, the old forces might not only have taken my teeth, but also my life as a Dafa practitioner.

This fall woke me up. I truly experienced the seriousness of cultivation and the evilness of the old forces during the Fa-Rectification. When I calmed down, I remembered Master's Fa lectures.

“The attachments you can’t let go of around ordinary people all have to be let go. All your attachments, as long as you have them, all have to be worn down in different settings. You will stumble, and from that grasp the truth. That’s how you cultivate.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

“Don't forget, you are all Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples! You came to validate the Fa! Cultivation is hard, and the evil is more evil while you are validating Dafa. Those who can make it through are bound to be Kings of sentient beings.” (“Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference”)

True practitioners can all experience great Master's compassionate protection and care. Master said,

 “The truth is, I treasure you more than you treasure yourselves!” “Whenever I see you suffering, Master feels even more troubled than you; whenever you do not take a step well, it really pains my heart.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)”, Essentials for Further Advancement II)

Looking Inward to Find Fundamental Attachments

Due Master's protection, I did not have any scars on my lips after I got new teeth. Soon I completely recovered. I felt that compassionate Master endured the pain that I should have suffered. Master wants me to truly understand the Fa and improve myself. But the old forces' goal is to destroy Dafa disciples. I seriously learned the lessons and truly looked inward with a calm mind. To my surprise, I found a few severe omissions, any of which could allow the old forces to persecute me to death.

1. I did not position Dafa as the first priority over my personal life. I did not validate Dafa but myself.

Before I started to cultivate, I was fond of having fun and I often fought with others. My academic performance was poor. After I practiced Dafa, I followed Master's teaching and I got rid of the bad habit of fighting with others and my studies improved greatly. My former teachers at school were all surprised when they heard I got graduate school admission into a famous university. I knew all of these things were bestowed upon me by Master to allow me to validate the Fa better. But since I had fear, I always clarified the truth as a third party and I seldom told everyday people that I cultivated Falun Dafa or that I was so lucky because I benefited from Dafa. Due to family, friends, teachers, and classmates' flattery, gradually I developed strong attachments of zealotry and self-satisfaction. I forgot that everything I had was bestowed upon me by Dafa, and I forgot to use all the convenience to validate the Fa. I expected others to praise me and could not tolerate others' criticism at all. Moreover, I felt very good about myself for many years. I felt I was doing the three things well and that I cultivated well. Now I realized that if I allowed my attachments to grow any stronger, I would eventually have demonic interference from my own mind and destroy myself.

2. I did not truly cultivate myself for a long period of time. I realized many attachments but did not truly advance diligently to get rid of them. I also thought that it was like having insurance after I acquired the Fa, and that there was nothing I should be afraid of.

In 2006 and 2007, I could still concentrate while studying the Fa and I still had strong righteous thoughts. A few times I was in danger, but I could think of asking Master for help at the critical moment and finally escape danger under Master's compassionate protection. Once I was on the third floor of a building that suddenly collapsed. I fell to the second floor and landed flat on my back. I immediately asked for Master's help and things turned out fine. While I was grateful for Master's protection, I did not wonder why I would fall from the third floor. It was actually because I had just gotten into the graduate school and I was honored into the fraternity by my teachers and schoolmates. I had a strong attachment of zealotry. I also believed that Master would protect me during critical moments. I felt like I had insurance and I forgot that the evil is watching us all the time. I relaxed my mindful and diligent cultivation, and I did not truly cultivate myself. Instead, I considered doing things as cultivation.

Master said,

“So they saw this and thought: 'We can't allow this. Isn't this like getting some kind of insurance? Once they learn Dafa they're not worried about anything. Isn't that a huge attachment in and of itself?' So those old forces caused trouble in Dafa.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.”)

Certainly I also found other dirty human notions that I still had not not let go of, such as lust, jealousy, and the desire for comfort. I dug them out one by one and made up my mind to eliminate them from the root.

I Learned to Assimilate to the Fa Actively

Through such lessons again and again, I firmly made up my mind to assimilate to the Fa actively. After I truly did it, I experienced the magnificence and beauty of assimilating to the Fa. After I realized many attachments, I did not just think in my mind that I should get rid of them in the future, but immediately started to truly get rid of them. Below I want to share with practitioners how I got rid of the attachment of lust in several stages.

1. I became aware that I was passively attached to lust. I considered lust a part of myself. Although I knew it was bad, I did not eliminate successfully it because I only realized the attachment and thought of getting rid of it in the future, not truly cultivating myself every moment right away. Moreover, while I cultivated Dafa, I also watched everyday people's movies and TV. I let the dirty matter pour into my mind while trying to get rid of it at the same time. It showed in reality that when I saw a good-looking girl, I could not help staring at her. I even had many dirty thoughts. When the test came in my dream, I could not pass it at all. Basically I could not pass any of the tests. Every time I felt lust in a dream, I ejaculated. When I woke up, I really regretted it. But I just could not get rid of the root cause. I also had strong thought-karma related to that. Sometimes when just sitting there, those thoughts would come to my mind like playing a movie. I felt like my thought-karma had accumulated over many lives and the old forces also intentionally diverted me in order to destroy me.

2. I strengthened my main consciousness and actively got rid of the lust. Later, after I had tribulations during cultivation, I had a true breakthrough during my Fa-study. I understood that if a practitioner does not make up his mind with determination, he cannot get rid of lust. First, I completely stopped watching everyday people's media and only read Dafa books. For a while, intense lustful thoughts continued to interfere with me. When I was about to follow the attachment to these thoughts, I used a stick to hit myself and re-enforce my main consciousness to pull my thoughts back. I knelt down in front of Master's photo and sent forth strong righteous thoughts, “Master, none of the lustful thoughts thrust on me that cause me to humiliate Dafa are mine. Even if both my body and soul are destroyed, I will not defame Master and Dafa.” I made up my mind with determination. At the same time, compassionate Master enlightened me in a dream. I had a dream that I was on the Titanic and that I was sinking with the boat even as I had the attachment of lust. When I woke up, I understood that my true self came down from a higher level to help Master rectify the Fa as a Dafa disciple. I could not temporarily let those ghosts and demons control my mind after millions of years of waiting. Gradually, my main consciousness got stronger and stronger, and I could immediately discover the lust when it presented itself and eliminate it.

Later I passed the test a few more times in my dreams. For example, once I had a dream that a nude female held me and asked me to do something immoral with her. I did not have the thought at all and totally ignored its existence. So I passed the test.

3. I purified my mind and eliminated the desire. While promoting Shen Yun, I was fortunate to see the performance. At that point, I felt that Master completely eliminated the lust in my dimensions. I could meditate with a calm mind and I experienced the beautiful feeling of being inside an eggshell. When I see sentient beings now, I do not distinguish if it is a man or woman, old or young. I am only concerned about whether or not they have already withdrawn from the CCP and if they have heard that Falun Dafa is good. I truly understand that everyone in the human world has come for the Fa, man or woman. They are no different in my eyes; they are all sentient beings waiting to be saved by Dafa practitioners. My mind is calm and not moved by lust. I feel very light, as if a heavy load has been lifted from me. Certainly there are all kinds of interferences while living in everyday people's society. Sometimes lust still appears and I have a bad thought, but it is very weak and I can immediately fix it and eliminate it right away. Master said,

“No matter who is interfering, it's all temporary, all illusions, not the main body, and it's all just like air flowing through.” (“Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”)

When I finished this article, it was six o'clock in the morning. I sent forth righteous thoughts and took a nap. I had a dream that two girls came over and expressed their good feelings for me. This time I did not consider it as a test at all since I did not have any lustful thoughts at all. I just clarified the truth to them with compassion and said, “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” After I woke up, I did not feel it was a dream; it seemed that it was my main consciousness that spoke to them clearly. The girls in the dream were touched and cried. I can still recall their expressions.

It has been three years since I fell off that bicycle. When I recall it, each moment displays itself in front of me clearly and it touches my heart. Most importantly, I am grateful every time I think of it. It was truly a great thing that happened for my cultivation. If it was not for that tribulation, I would not have turned away from the lure of temptation and might have headed towards self-destruction. I could not have truly learned to look inward with a calm mind or cultivate myself diligently. I could not have gotten rid of the tough attachment to pursing fame and zealotry. Master said,

“Whatever you experience during your cultivation--whether good or bad--is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating. A cultivator cannot achieve Consummation when laden with human thoughts, laden with karmic debts, or laden with attachments.” (“To the Chicago Fa Conference”)

My gratitude to Master cannot be put into words. Right now I can feel that every moment Master is beside me and protects me all the time. Every time I have test, I quickly know what to do and how to face it, because I know what I do will make Master happy, which is to compare my thoughts and actions to Dafa's requirements. At the same time, after I got rid of those attachments, my ability to clarify the truth and persuade people to quit the CCP greatly improved. I rarely meet anyone who refuses to quit the CCP. Since my dimensions have been purified and brightened, I send out righteous energy while clarifying the truth to sentient beings. It is like Master said,

“Buddha’s light shines everywhere, propriety and righteousness harmonize everything.” (Zhuan Falun)

Currently, my only feeling is that time is limited for saving sentient beings and we must use more strength to save them all.

Fellow practitioners, we cannot forget to truly cultivate ourselves and to put Dafa at a higher priority than our own lives at all times. Sometimes when the old forces implant some thought or other in us, we must immediately get rid of it when we realize it and thoroughly deny everything of the old forces. Otherwise, when the persecution and tribulations become so big that we cannot balance it even with our lives, we would be truly regretful. Let us actively assimilate to the Fa and follow Master's Fa-Rectification closely. Let us truly fulfill our prehistoric vows.

Thank you, Master, for your compassionate salvation. Fellow practitioners, please point out anything inappropriate.